


Anxiety vs. Medication

by lissaroxs



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, logicality - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-10 10:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12296961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lissaroxs/pseuds/lissaroxs
Summary: What happens to all of his sides when Thomas begins to take Anxiety medicine?





	1. Chapter 1

When Thomas' doctor recommended he take some anxiety medicine the sides of his personality went into chaos.

Virgil (Thomas' anxiety) was immediately hurt when he saw Thomas was considering it.

"Thomas am I really that cruel to you? I just want you to understand the possible downsides of the events in your life! I need you to be prepared."

"Logically speaking however, medication is simply supposed to help balance a current chemical imbalance in Thomas' brain." Logan (Thomas' logic) pointed out.

"But won't that hurt Virgil Logan?" Patton (Thomas' Morality) questioned fearfully. "We need to protect our precious boy! He's not intentionally trying to hurt Thomas."

"I'm honestly not sure Patton. But for the sake of Thomas' physical and mental health shouldn't we try it?"

"I don't know! I don't know what to think or even how to feel about this! This is too stressful... Roman you've been awfully quiet what do you think?..Roman? Roman!"

Roman (Thomas' Creativity) turned his head to face the others for a split second, and then immediately looked down at the ground. He wasn't fast enough however as the other three sides were able to see that his normal look of bravery and confidence was replaced with a look of worry and defeat.

"I-I've used every creative idea I can think of to help Thomas with this." Roman confessed still staring at the floor. "We've tried breathing exercises, calming music, counting exercises, stretching his body to relax... and while this has helped in some situations.. it's simply not enough to keep him calm and feeling safe all day. While we don't see eye to eye on many things Virgil, I think we can agree that we want to keep Thomas safe. Which means, I'm sorry to say, I think we should give it a try." He gained some courage to look up from the floor and was crushed at what he saw.

Virgil looked scared and his eyes were swimming with tears.

"I see. Well if that's how you all feel.." he said feeling dejected. "I'll be in my room" He sunk out in silence.

As he sunk out Patton began to silently cry in fear of what would happen to his anxious boy.

Roman took Patton's crying as his cue to sink out as well. While he wanted to comfort Patton it was difficult to see him in pain. He was the father figure after all and no one wants to see their father upset.

Once Roman left Patton's tears began to fall freely as he stopped trying to hold it together for Romans sake. He clutched his heart and nearly fell to his knees with his overflowing emotion when he felt a tentative hand on his shoulder. He sniffled and turned to see Logan nervously take his hand off Patton's shoulder.

"I apologize Patton I didn't mean to invade your space." Logan said sheepishly as he scanned Patton's face for a reaction. "I just know that one way of calming someone down is by showing physical affection. It was foolish to try to do so - again my apologies."

As Logan began to turn away feeling defeated for some reason, he heard a small "Wait". He turned back to Patton to see him still crying but less so now.

"Thank you." Patton said sincerely. He then took Logan's hand and put it back on his shoulder and held it there for a moment.

Logan's heart skipped a beat as he began to feel happy that he could provide some comfort to Patton. "Would a hug be more efficient?" He asked.

Instead of a verbal response Patton instead grabbed Logan's shoulders and pulled him towards himself into a tight hug. He held onto Logan for as long as he could, savoring the first hug he'd ever gotten from the logical man.

While Logan was a bit surprised to receive such a strong reaction, he began to relax into the hug until he soon heard Patton crying harder. "Wait have I done something wrong? Why are you crying harder?" Logan asked as he tried to exit the hug to see what had happened. Instead he felt Patton pull him in closer and heard Patton whisper the word "wait" into his ear again. So he did.

After what felt like a good five minutes of hugging and crying Logan began to hear Patton's breathing slow down. It was at this moment he also realized that for the duration of their hug he had been rubbing Patton's back softly and occasionally running his hand through the others hair.

"Are you feeling better?" Logan asked this time successfully stepping back out of the hug.

"Much better" Patton responded.

"May I ask, out of curiosity, why did you begin to cry harder after our embrace?"

Patton smiled liking that Logan called their hug an embrace. "Because I felt safe. Like I could be myself without judgement."

Logan was taken aback by this answer and smiled knowing he made Patton feel that way.

"I am still very worried about Virgil though." Patton said while sitting down on Thomas' staircase "I need him to be ok."

Logan walked over and sat next to Patton. "While I'm also worried, we have to remember that Thomas is doing this for the betterment of himself. He would never intentionally hurt Virgil and if he did we would tell him."

Patton smiled at this answer and leaned his head on Logan's shoulder. "Thank you Logan. I needed that." The two sat in silence for a couple more moments.

"I'm going to go take a nap, Logan. All these emotions have tuckered me out." Patton found himself wanting to ask Logan if he would join him, but realized that may be taken in the wrong context so he decided to keep that to himself.

"Enjoy your slumber Patton." Logan replied softly with the strange feeling of not wanting to see him go. Logan had also gone through a range of emotions today and while it began with concern for Virgil, it turned into happiness, comfort, and some other feelings he couldn't quite pinpoint that all had to do with Patton.

Meanwhile all of this is happening Virgil is in his room, laying on the floor crying and trying to calm down.

 _I knew they didn't like me but I never thought they wanted to hurt me!_ Virgil thought sobbing in fear and rocking his body to feel better. ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

In between his sobs he heard a hesitant voice call out his name. When he looked up he saw Roman coming into his room.

"Virgil?" Roman called "Please buddy talk to me!"

"You finally got your wish didn't you Roman. You’re getting rid of me."

"I never wanted this!" Roman argued offended "How could you think that?!"

"Well it was always obvious you didn't like me, you said it to my face multiple times!" Virgil retaliated.

"Yes but -" Roman sputtered "I never wanted to injure you! That's the last thing I want!"

"Oh really and why's that?"

"Because I - "

"NO! Look I don't want to hear your bullshit Roman. Just get out of my room."

"BUT"

"GOD! For once in your life listen to someone other than yourself and LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!" Virgil shouted while physically pushing Roman out of his room.

Once the door was closed he went back to floor and cried himself to sleep.

"But" Roman talked to himself, head leaning against Virgil's door. "I..I love you."

\-----------

The next two days went by extremely slowly as Roman, Patton, and Logan were all focused on their concern for Virgil as he had not left his room. Patton would slide handmade cards of his under Virgil's door in the hopes it'd make him feel better. Logan would inform Virgil that he left some food and water next to the door after every meal, and Roman took to singing Disney songs while leaning his back to the door.

Finally the three came together and decided it was time to inform Thomas on what was going on, when ironically, Thomas called all three of them down to the living room. Logan first, then Patton, and lastly Roman. The first thing they saw was Virgil sitting on Thomas' stairs... smiling?

Patton reacted immediately - "Virgil!! I've been worried sick about you! Why haven't you come out of your room? Are you hurt? Are you feeling alright? Have you been eating th-"

"Alright, alright slow down" Thomas chuckled.

There was a nerve racking pause where Thomas took a deep breath and then began to speak.

"As you all know I started taking anxiety medicine a couple days ago and I know you've all been stressed about this."

"We've been so worried!" Patton blurted out.

"I also was concerned despite knowing the medication would likely help." Logan stated.

All eyes went to Roman where they expected a similar response when instead the Prince stayed silent.

"Anyway, as I was saying" Thomas continued. "I've called you all here not for a video.."

"Aww" Patton pouted.

".. but instead I wanted to talk to you all about how the anxiety medication has been affecting Virgil. Do you guys notice anything different about him?"

"Physically," Logan began "he looks the same. He is smiling however and that is uncommon."

"The day after I started taking my anxiety medicine I called Virgil down to talk to him and see how the medicine was affecting him. And thankfully - Actually Virgil why don't you tell them?"

"Um...ok." Virgil agreed still nervous at the attention he was getting. "I'm..I'm actually feeling pretty well! Honestly I haven't felt this well in a while. I am still Thomas' anxiety so I will still get shaky and act up once in awhile but right now, I feel a sense of calmness. It's pretty weird - but a good weird."

Virgil looked around the room at the other sides and saw a positive reaction among the group. Patton was of course beaming with pride and had watery eyes, and Logan and Roman both had a cheerful face on as well. However while Logan's face was that of a cheerful friend, Romans was a bit more... - well just more. It seemed like there was something else other than happiness in his face but couldn't tell what it was.

"I wanted to apolo-"

"Now you stop right there Mister!" Patton interrupted. "there is no reason at all for you to apologize! If anything we should be apologizing to you!"

"Just..wait." Virgil said. "Let me explain."

Logan, while almost always attentive and focused on what's going on around him, found himself getting an emotional flashback upon hearing the word "wait". Within an instant he found himself craving the feeling of Patton again, remembering how he comforted him and how he ran his fingers through his soft hair. He turned his head to glance at Patton wanting to feel that touch visually somehow, but when he turned his head he didn't expect to see Patton looking back at him with a similar gleeful smile on his face. As he quickly turned to face the floor, he felt a rush of warmth flow to his face and throughout his body and realized he was blushing. _Why am I blushing?_ He thought to himself _. It must just be because I'm feeling embarrassed for feeling emotions! Not due to anything else relating to Patton. Nope. Nothing else._

He felt himself blush harder the more he tried to deny he felt physical and emotional feelings for Patton. He shook his head and tried to focus his attention back on Virgil.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted these past two days. I should have let you know I'd been feeling better but the attention you gave to me - I wanted it to continue. I don't normally get positive attention from you all.."

"Wha-?" Patton began to question.

"Except you Patton." Virgil expanded. "You're a cool guy."

"I love my happy anxious son." Patton responded smiling.

"And...I-I love my surrogate Dad." Virgil replied.

This had been incredibly shocking to the others as no one had ever really called Patton ‘Dad’ before, let alone Virgil, and this was also the first time anyone heard Virgil say the words "I love you" to anyone at all.

"This is so beautiful" Thomas whispered to himself.

"But anyway," Virgil continued. "I shouldn't have caused you all to worry more than you needed to. And for that I'm sorry."

...

...

...

Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

…

"But anyway," Virgil continued. "I shouldn't have caused you all to worry more than you needed to. And for that I'm sorry."

  
“Don't worry Virgil we all understand and are just happy you're feeling well.” Logan responded.

There was a bit of an awkward silence while everyone continued to stare at Virgil observing how he looked and waiting to see if he had anymore to add.

Virgil began to stare at the floor and fidget not liking that all the attention was still on him.

“...I mean it has only been two days so no miracles have happened…” Virgil mumbled trying to fill the silence.

Logan and Patton both shared a look recognizing that it was time to drop the issue and get back to their normal lives.

“Well I'm just glad you’re feeling well kiddo! I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And Thomas I just want to say that you've made a big step in your adultery and I'm proud of you.”

Virgil cracked open a grin and began to feel a lot better at Patton's remark.

“Patton it's not...called...never mind” Thomas sighed and decided to just let it go.

Patton looked back at Virgil happy to see him look more relaxed when he noticed that Roman, who had been unusually quiet during this ordeal, was trying to get Virgil's attention in the most inconspicuous way possible.

“Hey Thomas didn't you have some editing to do?” Patton asked.

“Oh yeah! Let me text Joan and Talyn to see if they can distract me and also keep me on task.” Thomas decided walking away to look for his phone.

“And Logan why don't you explain to me what this word adultery means in my room? Clearly I have no idea what it is, so even a demonstration would be helpful!”

Logan’s eyes snapped open and felt his face heating up, while Virgil and Roman both looked at each other and began to bust up laughing.

“Are you sure you can't just look up the word in the dictionary?” Logan asked trying to save himself from a really awkward situation.

“I could, but you seem to know much more then the dictionary, and it would be more helpful coming from you since I could ask you questions if I didn't understand.” Patton continued innocently.

Logan felt himself blushing harder and decided that he really should teach him what that word means. He swallowed hard and said “Alright Patton let's go do that.”

“Oh Goody!” Patton exclaimed with childlike glee.

Unexpectedly, however right before sinking out Patton caught Romans eye and gave him a smile, a wink, and a quick nod towards Virgil.

Romans face sobered up quickly. _He doesn't know does he?_ Roman pondered to himself nervously. _No of course not - he doesn't even know what adultery means, how could he possibly know how I feel about Virgil?_

Roman looked over to Virgil to see him looking back at him nervously as well.

“So listen-”  
“I'm really-”

They both chuckled at talking over each other.

“Go ahead Virgil” Roman insisted.

“Well,” Virgil began running his hand over his neck. “Look, I just really wanted to apologize about how I freaked out at you a couple days ago. I know you were just trying to help, but I was just...really scared honestly.” Virgil confessed.

“Virgil, I'm so sorry.”

“Wait, what are you sorry for?”

Roman began to pace back and forth. “For making you feel like I hated you!” Roman blurted out frantically. “I've NEVER wanted to hurt you! In fact I’d want to slay the piece of paper that gave you a paper cut in reality!”

Virgil smiled surprised at this new information.

“Look I know i’ve said some hurtful things before, but that's just because you frustrate me sometimes and I didn't know how to tell you that in a non dramatic way! I mean drama is my thing after all. And anyway, it always felt like you were trying to bring me down whenever I was happy!” Roman stopped pacing and turned to look Virgil in the eyes. “I couldn't live with myself if you weren't here with us.” Roman explained. He stepped closer to Virgil, hearing both Virgil and his breath hitch at the closeness. “Virgil I care about you deeply. I need you to understand that.”

Roman felt himself trying desperately not to glance at Virgil's lips knowing that would be an obvious clue as to how he felt.

“Roman - I..”

“Welp, I found my phone! It was dead so I have to charge it a bit.” Thomas interrupted. He looked up to see Virgil and Roman jump back like spooked cats and cocked his head sideways.

“What's uh…. what's going on guys? And where's Patton and Logan?” Thomas asked curiously.

“Oh, Virgil and I were having a staring contest and Logan's in Patton’s room teaching him about adultery.” Roman explained as nonchalantly as he could.

“Oh! Oka- WaiT WhAT!?” Thomas exclaimed.

“You know what I'm just not even gonna worry about it” Thomas declared out loud walking away.

 _Son of a biscuit this is all I'm gonna think about for the rest of the day._ Thomas thought to himself.

\---------

“So uh.. where to begin?” Logan chuckled nervously.

“Well I find the beginning is normally the best place to start.” Patton said jokingly.

Logan almost expected a loud ‘Buh-dum-tss!’ to go off in Patton’s room every time he told a joke, but the room stayed quiet with only Patton's eyes on him.

“Do you want to have a seat?” Patton offered gesturing next to him on the bed.

“Uh, sure.” Logan decided, as he thought he might faint do to the nervousness and embarrassment he felt.

Logan sat down next to Patton and started to wipe his hands on his pants as his hands began to get sweaty.

Patton recognized how nervous this made Logan act and decided to just play it off as a joke. While he wasn't an idiot, he genuinely didn't know the difference between the words adulthood and adultery. Now he could tell you in a flash all about environmental issues, and social political issues, because Thomas has strong emotions tied to all those issues. Emotions were Patton’s speciality. Logic was Logan's, so he thought it would be simple for Logan to explain this to him.

“I'm just joshing with you Logan!” Patton said jokingly nudging Logan's shoulder. “Of course I know what adultery is! I just wanted to make Virgil smile and I knew that would do it.” He may not know what the word means, but he did know it made Virgil smile every time he used it.

“OH!” Logan breathed out loudly. “You really got me there Patton! Way to make me sweat!” Logan smiled and nervously chuckled. “I knew you weren't stupid!” Logan added.

“Yep! I was just being silly!” Patton responded grinning a fake smile but genuinely hurt by Logan's remark. “Silly old Patton!” He continued.

“Ha, well I'll see you around then!” Logan said walking out of Patton's room.

“See ya around.” Patton responded quietly as he tried to not let his negative emotions take over his thinking.

 _Whew! I really dodged a bullet there!_ Logan thought to himself leaning his back against Patton's door, semi-proud he used a phrase Virgil taught him. He was just about to walk away when he heard labored breaths and small mutterings come through the door.

Roman and Virgil passed by Logan on the way to their separate rooms.

“How’d the adultery conversation go?” Roman asked grinning.

“Didn't need to have it! Turns out he was just playing us this whole time!” Logan responded. “...But I think he may be getting sick - listen…”

He gestured to the door as Roman and Virgil leaned up against it to hear what Logan was talking about.

Instead of getting the response he was looking for from the two - ‘Yep, probably just a cold!’, He saw the two give each other worried looks and then turn to glare at Logan.

Roman grabbed Logan's upper arm and began to drag him to his room as Virgil followed.

“Alright what exactly happened in there?” Roman asked accusingly.

“Nothing! What’s going on you guys? What were those noises?” Logan flushed at the awkwardness of his question hoping it wasn't anything bad.

Virgil and Roman glanced at each other once again.

“What is going on?” Logan asked more adamantly.

“We both recognize those breaths and mumblings.” Virgil explained.

“That's how Thomas reacts when he's trying to hide he's upset and calm himself down.” Roman expanded. “I taught him how to focus on his breathing to not go into panic mode.”

“And the mumbling is what Thomas does when he tries to convince himself that something hurtful someone said isn't true.” Virgil continued.

“But I didn't say anything hurtful!” Logan defended.

“Ok, walk us through what happened.” Roman said.

“Actually-” Virgil interrupted nodding his head to the side to get Roman to walk toward him.

“What's up?” Roman asked quietly.

“Listen, ordinarily I wouldn't say anything because I'd be too anxious to, but I think I should sit this conversation out.” Virgil admitted.

“Why? are you ok?” Roman asked concerned.

“Yeah, I'm fine at the moment.” Virgil reassured, “But I think I'm going to work myself up into a panic if I stay in this conversation. I wasn't lying earlier - Patton is kinda like my surrogate Dad, and I can't think about him getting...hurt...because...” Virgil's breathing began to get a little heavier and his eyes began to water as he started to think of Patton feeling hurt.

“Hey, I totally understand.” Roman nodded “How about you go in your room and distract yourself with some music, or Tv, or just take a nap, while I work this out with Logan and Patton. I'll text you when everything's ok.”

“Thanks.” Virgil said relieved. “I really appreciate it.” He initiated a small hug with Roman to show his appreciation and to also just feel some physical comfort from him.

Roman blushed a little surprised at the hug and smiled as Virgil walked out of his room and into his own.

Roman turned back towards Logan to continue his conversation.

“So, walk me through what happened.”

“Alright, well I was nervous to explain what Adultery was to Patton for obvious reasons. And -”

“Wait, why were you nervous? You've taught Sex-Ed to middle schoolers!” Roman pointed out.

“Yeah, but they're middle schoolers! Of course they don't know, they haven't been taught yet! Patton's a grown adult! But anyway I didn't have to teach him anything - he said he was just joking and he just said that to make Virgil smile.”

“Okay...I can believe he would say something silly to make Virgil smile. How did you respond to that?”

“Well I was relieved and just said I knew he wasn't stupid!”

Roman sighed dramatically and placed his head in his hands. “Logan what if he really didn't know? By saying he wasn't stupid by knowing, doesn't that translate to mean he is stupid if he didn't know?”

“But he said he did know! He said he was just joking!”

“But what if he was lying?” Roman asked.

“No, He wouldn't lie to me...would he?” Logan questioned. _He said he could be himself without judgment with me._  
  
“I'm not sure…”

“And honestly, why doesn't he know! I mean come on, all of us know how does he not!”

“OH! I’VE GOT IT!” Roman loudly proclaimed.

“WHAT DID YOU GET?!” Logan responded with fake excitement.

“Ok, you like Sherlock right?”

“Uh, doy.”

“And you've seen the BBC Show Sherlock?”

“Again, ‘Uh, Doy.’ What does Sherlock have to do with Patton?”

“Ok remember in one episode Watson found out Sherlock didn't know that the earth rotated around the sun?” Roman asked excitedly.

“Yeah...where are you going with this?”

“Sherlock said that he had probably learned that information at one point, but since then deleted it from his mind because it wasn't relevant to the work he was doing!” Roman declared proudly.

Logan froze for a minute. “Okay...but even if that was the case, Sherlock would never get upset if someone said he wasn't stupid for knowing the earth moved around the sun!”

“Ah, but what if Watson said that to him. How would Sherlock feel if he lied to Watson and said ‘Of course I know the earth revolves around the sun’ when he really didn't, and Watson turned to him and said ‘I knew you weren't stupid!’”

“Ohhh.” Logan finally understood. “Wait am I Watson in this scenario?”

“Dear lord, just go talk to him and say you're sorry!” Roman said exasperatedly while pushing him out of his door. “And tell me when everything's better!”

Logan walked back over to Patton's room quietly, still nervous, but now about upsetting Patton. He leaned close to the door to hear if Patton was still trying to calm himself down...but he didn't hear anything. That was odd for Patton's room because everyone always heard loud outbursts from him - either laughing loud at a joke he heard or gasping loudly at a Tv show he was watching. But there was no noise coming from his room.

This worried Logan more. “Patton?” Logan asked softly. He turned the doorknob to see if the door was open - it was. “I'm coming in.” He warned.

When he opened the door Patton was nowhere to be seen. Logan began to panic until he heard a voice from behind him.

“Uh, what are you doing in my room?” Patton asked questioningly.

Logan quickly noticed that Patton's eyes were a little red as if he were crying. _Not that I stare into his eyes often._ He thought to himself. _I'm just being observant! Stop overthinking! And stop staring into his gorgeous eyes you fool!_

“Logan?”

“Oh! I was just…” Logan took a deep breath. “Are you okay? Roman and Virgil said you sounded like you were panicking and trying to calm down, and I was likely the reason for it!”

“Oh. Um, I'm okay now. I was able to calm myself down. But you didn't do anything wrong! You never outright said I was stupid...which I'm not by the way.” Patton reaffirmed more to himself than to Logan.

“Of course you're not stupid! We’re all just knowledgeable in different areas. But...do you really not know what adultery means?”

Patton blushed “Well honestly I didn't, no.”

“So why would you lie to me and say you did?” Logan asked hurt.

“Because you looked uncomfortable Logan. I always want people to feel comfortable with me and you weren't. I thought it would save you some grief if I just told you I knew instead.”

Logan nodded. “I understand where you're coming from. But next time, don't lie to me to save me some grief. I want _you_ to feel comfortable with me too.” Logan looked down at the ground. “I was really happy when you had said you could be yourself with me without judgement earlier. I want that to stay the truth.”

Patton smiled. “Alright, let’s just agree not to lie to one another to spare each other's feelings.” Patton decided.

“Deal.” Logan agreed.

“So...do you need me to explain adultery?” Logan asked feeling nervous again.

“No.” Patton said. “I just borrowed a dictionary from your room to look up the word like you suggested earlier.”

“Oh!” Logan said relieved. “Do you understand? Did you have any questions?”

“I understand for the most part - I only have one question.” Patton admitted.

“Go ahead Patton, I'm listening.”

“Ok…” Patton took a deep breath “...What exactly is sex?”

Logan felt himself black out for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well a lot of you asked me to continue so I did! I hope you all liked this part - Let me know what you think! I will be writing more chapters too - writing is a lot more fun when you have people actually read what you wrote.


	3. Chapter 3

Logan stumbled around until he grabbed onto Patton's bed to sit down.

“I’m sorry...what?” Logan asked still seeing black splotchy spots in his eyes.

“I asked what sex is!” Patton remarked casually. “I mean I hear the word a lot and know it's important, because Thomas has strong emotions surrounding it. Sometimes he feels excited and happy about it and other times he feels nervous and shy. But I'm still not really sure what it is.”

“This can't be happening..” Logan mumbled.

“Now look Logan, we just agreed to be honest with each other so if this makes you uncomfortable, which I believe it does, I can find my information elsewhere - like the internet!”

“Oh GOD NO!” Logan exclaimed “Don't look up sex on the internet.” _Your precious little mind is going to be ruined forever now._

Logan cleared his throat and sat up straight. _Listen Logan you have to do this._ He thought to himself. _You know you're the only side that will tell him._

Logan took a breath in, held it for a few seconds then exhaled slowly.

“Alright Patton. So...sex…um” Logan already felt himself getting redder than he's ever been, and couldn't look Patton in the eye. “You know what the biological difference between men and women is right?”

“Of course! Men have penises and women have vaginas!” Patton said proudly “Wait does sex have to do with those?”

“Oh my god Patton you're too pure for this.”

“Look I've told you already Logan, I can just look this up on the interwebs if I need to.”

“NO” Logan was positive he didn't want Patton to find out online.

“Alright. So let me have it!” Patton proclaimed.

_There are plenty of ways he could have phrased that - Why on earth is he killing me like this!_

Logan cleared his throat still looking down at his hands. “So you're right. Sex does have to do with penises and vaginas. But sometimes it's between two men and and sometimes it's between two women.”

“Ah yes. Two penises and two vaginas. Now pray tell how does that work exactly?”

Logan gave up and looked Patton in the face, just completely baffled on how he didn't know this. What he saw instead of innocence however, was Patton's face scrunched up trying hard not to laugh.

Logan gasped shocked as Patton just began to laugh hysterically as hard as he possibly could.

“Y-Your FACE!!” Patton laughed wiping the tears out of his eyes. “It's PRICELESS!!” Patton grabbed his stomach and just rolled around on the bed not stopping.

Logan's brain short-circuited for a moment as he watched Patton roll around laughing. “Wait you KNOW?!” Logan asked dumbfounded standing up quickly.

“Of-f Co-ourse I know!!” Patton exclaimed laughing. “How could I not!?”

“YOU..MOTHER-...I can't believe you Patton. I honestly can't believe you.” Logan said offended.

_I can't believe he’d embarrass me like this!_

After a while Patton's laughing began to die down and as it did Logan turned haughtily back to Patton to condemn him for fooling him. As he looked back into Patton's eyes he couldn't help but feel the humor radiate through his body and they both began to laugh all over again.

“Ok, Ok, I admit that was a pretty funny prank to pull on me. You almost gave me a heart attack! Metaphorically of course.” Logan confessed. “So let me guess, you actually knew what adultery meant too?”

Patton stopped laughing but was still wiping tears out of his eyes. “No that was real. I really didn't know what adultery meant until tonight. However, I do understand now why Virgil and Roman would laugh every time I'd use it incorrectly.”

“Oh my lord.” Patton realized eyes growing wide. “I asked you to demonstrate!! Oh, I am so sorry about that Logan!”

 _“I could demonstrate now if you wanted me to...”_ Logan thought to himself, unknowingly muttering out loud. “It’s -”

“Wait what?” Patton said looking shocked.

“What?” Logan asked confused “What happened?” He turned his head back and forth to see if something had happened behind him.

“Oh! Um, nothing.” Patton said with his ears turning pink. “I just thought I saw a puppy.”  
_A hot, sexy, pupp- nope… nope, too far Patton. Reel it in…_

Logan cleared his throat as it got awkwardly quiet. “Well I've got to report back to Roman - he was worried about you.” Logan opened the door abruptly and saw Roman tumble through almost instantaneously.

Roman got up, brushed his jacket off, and began squealing. “LOGAN, I can't believe you sai-” he stopped mid sentence as he saw Patton feverishly shake his head no as if to stop him. “I mean, I can't believe Patton played you like that! Yeah, what else would I be talking about? Nothing of course! Skittle? They're magically delicious!” He rambled on.

Logan just stared at him incredulously. “Were you spying Roman? That is a huge violation of our privacy! And yes! I will have some skittles! But it's Lucky Charms that are magically delicious. ”

“What?” Roman asked “Oh! I actually don't have candy on me - it's in my room! Let's go get some!” He walked Logan out of Patton's room but not before mouthing OH MY GOD to Patton.

Roman quickly ran Logan back into his room “Ok spill that Gucci purse, Mr. Logical hates emotions all the time!”

Logan stopped and looked around. “Where's the candy? Oh, and I don't own a Gucci purse. And if I did, I wouldn't just carelessly dump it's contents out on the floor.”

“Oh my god Logan how are you focused on candy when -” Roman felt his phone vibrate and his text tone go off - _I’m a Boss Ass Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!_  
“When you-” - _I’m a Boss Ass Bitch,.._  
“When you sai-” - _I’m a Boss Ass…_  
“Whe-” - _I’m a…_  
“GAH! Now is not the time for my phone to be blowing up!”

“You should probably get that looked at” Logan muttered while snooping around Roman's room looking for his candy.

Roman rolled his eyes as he opened his text messages to see four new texts from both Virgil and Patton.

_Is everything okay over there? There's a lot of noise going on... - Virgil_

_I don't think Logan knows what he said!! If you tell him I'll tell Virgil! - Patton_

_Eyes emoji, hand peace sign emoji, Eyes emoji - Patton_

_Seriously what is going on?! - Virgil_

Roman was pretty sure Patton still didn't know he liked Virgil so he replied accordingly.

_Tell Virgil what hmm? - *~Roman~*_

He began to reply to Virgil when Patton responded immediately.

_Prince emoji, kissing emoji, smiling devil horns emoji - Patton_

Roman gasped and dropped his phone.

“Are you ok Roman? Did your phone burn you when it blew up?” Logan asked munching on the skittles he found in Romans underwear drawer.

“It didn't literally blow up Log- Hey why are you eating my cheat day Skittles?!”

“Um, Because you offered them..”

“Oh? Oh, thats right…”

“So as you know by spying on us everything is well now. ...Did you need me for anything else or…”

“No...no! I figured out the answer to the other question I was going to ask you.”

“Alright then..couldn't have been too difficult if you figured it out..”

“Really?! Seriously! Oh... the things I could tell you…” Roman said beginning to get annoyed.

“Ha!! What could you tell me that I don't already know?!” Logan asked snobbishly.

“YOU TOLD-” _I’m a Boss Ass Bitch,.._

Roman looked down at his phone to see that the newest text message was from Patton.

_Prince emoji, Scared face emoji, sword emoji, skull and crossbones emoji - clapping hands emoji...Don't test me Roman!! - Patton_

Roman accurately assumed that Patton was outside his door listening in.

“Never mind Logan...IT'S PROBABLY TIME FOR YOU TO GO NOW!” Roman said loudly so Patton knew Logan was going to leave.

“Alright! I'm going! No need to shout..”

“HEY!” Roman yelled “Leave the skittles!”

Logan stopped to set the skittles down on Roman's side table when he decided against it. “NO! This is for shouting at me!” Logan yelled back as he ran directly into Romans closed door.

“And that's what you get for stealing!! You criminal!!” Roman yelled after him as Logan opened the door and ran through to his own room.

Patton quickly ran out of the way and hid in his room with the door creaked open. He made way to his bed and sat down staring at the wall with a blank expression. He heard his phone vibrate and his text tone go off - _You've got a friend in me.._

He looked down at his phone to find a new text from Roman.

_Smiley face with zipped lips emoji - Ok, your secrets safe with me - clapping hands emoji - Just don't tell Virgil! - clapping hands emoji - *~Roman~*_

Patton knew he would never share such a secret to Virgil, as Roman would tell him when he was ready. He also has a hunch that Virgil likely feels the same way but is unaware of it at the moment.

He shakes his head. _This isn't about them right now._ He thought. _Logan practically just told you he wanted to ‘demonstrate adultery with you’! But let's be real here Patton, you know it was probably just a random thought. Like when you wonder what a bar of soap tastes like. Or think about how many people in the world are jumping on a trampoline right now. Or when you compared Logan to a dog. And why tell him he muttered a random thought outloud? It would just embarrass him and you don't want to do that. Anyway he probably doesn't really like you like that. Why on earth would he?_

He quietly put on his looney toon pjs, took off his glasses, crawled under his covers and stared at the ceiling.

_First off Logan hates emotions - and you are literally the epitome of emotions. Also Logan is incredibly intelligent! You on the other hand just learned what Adultery meant tonight. Why would he want to date someone like you?_

Patton rolled over in his bed to the fetal position, as his eyes began to water.

_Look at you Patton - already thinking about him dating you! Let's be realistic - like Logan. It is highly unlikely that Logan likes you. And if by some microscopic chance he did, he would quickly realize that a quarter of your happiness is fake. You're the Dad! You can't have down moments in front of Roman and Virgil. You have to be strong for them. You have to be strong. Forget about this incident and be strong._

Patton wiped his watery eyes on his pillow and turned on his calming rainfall noises that help him sleep. He fell asleep mentally repeating the words _I am strong. I am strong._

_\--------_

_I can't wait to tell Virgil all about this!!_ Roman thought as he giggled excitedly. _I mean everything except the part that I'm hopelessly in love with the frustrating anxious man. ...Not yet of course…_

Roman was about to run into Virgil's room when he thought to check his watch -3:17am!! _Oh my lord.._

Roman sunk out of his room and into the living room. “THOMAS!”

“Agh!! What do you want?!” Thomas asked jumping from his couch eyes peeling away from his laptop.

“Look at the time!! You need to listen to your fans, get off Twitter and/or Tumblr and go the fu-”

“Thomas!” Logan interrupted.

“- to sleep!!!” Roman finished.

“What are _you_ doing here?!”

“What are _you_ doing here?!”

“Ugh, I'm trying to get Thomas to sleep - he does have a reputation to uphold.” Roman explained

“Oh - I intended to do the same. But for the sake of his health of course. I'm not superficial like you.”

“Superficial!? I may care about my looks but that doesn't make me superficial!”

“Doesn't it?”

“Why you little..”

“ **STOP**!!! Dear lord… have you guys ever thought that maybe it's your bickering that keeps me awake?” Thomas intervenes.

The two both turn to Thomas.

“Wait… you don't listen in on our conversations do you?” Roman asked nervously.

“No! Of course not! I honestly have no idea what you guys do up in that head of mine. All I know is my mind seems rowdy tonight...Do you guys need to talk to me about something?”

“No!” The two said synchronized.

“Well..I guess I'll be getting to bed then..” Roman says quietly. “But you owe me a bag of skittles Logan!”

“There was literally a handful of skittles left.”

“Guys…” Thomas warned.

The two both sank out back to their rooms.

When Roman sank into his room he almost immediately ran over to Virgil’s room to tell him all about what happened, when he realized he literally just criticized Thomas for being up too late.

_Sorry for not replying sooner - everything went crazy. But long story short Patton's feeling better and back to his normal self. *~Roman~*_

Roman changed into his favorite silky Pjs and climbed into his bed as he waited for Virgil to reply. He dozed off with his phone in his hand.

_Roman walked over to Virgil's door and knocked quietly. “Virgil?” Roman asked, “Can I come in?” Virgil hopped out of his bed and opened the door to see Roman dressed in his finest suit._

_“Woah. What's the big occasion?” Roman looked hurt at this remark. “You seriously don't remember?” He asks._

_“Um no? What am I supposed to remember?”_

_“Our wedding anniversary of course!” Roman walked closer to Virgil until they could feel each other's breath on their lips. “Or do I need to remind you of one very good reason we got married?” Roman whispered in his ear. Virgil looked into Roman’s eyes and said “I don't understand what's happening, but yes please.” Roman leaned in close and beg-_

_EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!! Everything is cool when…_

Virgil groggily hit his alarm to turn it off. (Roman liked to randomly change his alarm to some annoying upbeat song once a day)

He checked his phone to see that Roman had replied and Patton was alright.

Virgil smiled and let out a breath of relief. _Roman.._ He thought. _Woah..What the fuck was that dream?_


	4. Chapter 4

Virgil sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He stared blankly at the wall across from him as his mind began to ponder. _Why would I dream about Roman?...And why would it involve us being married? He may not hate me like I thought he did, but how did I jump from him tolerating me to being his husband? Oh my god…do I have a thing for Roman?!_

He shook his head to get out of his daze and began getting dressed. Anxiety’s closet is what you’d expect - Pretty bare with the exception of a couple T-shirts, his favorite hoodies, jeans, and the Christmas sweater Roman gave to him (with Patton’s help).

He found himself brushing his fingers over the sweater with a small smile on his face. _He did make me this sweater that I actually like…_ Virgil gasped aloud. _Does he have a thing for me?! ...No..of course not. He made sweaters for everyone. Stop thinking you’re more special than you actually are! ..But what if he does like me...and what if I like him! Oh my god. What do I do??_

“Shit! Would you please just shut up!!” He said loudly to his brain hoping it would listen.

“Well that’s not nice Virgil I hadn’t even said anything yet!” Patton’s voice said from behind his door.

“Patton?” Virgil looked down to make sure he actually did get dressed and wasn’t just daydreaming. Thankfully he did, so he walked over to his door opening it to see Patton’s beaming face on the other side.

“Good Morning sunshine!” Patton said cheerfully. “I just wanted to let you know we’re all eating breakfast if you want to join!”

“Uh thanks?” Virgil said with uncertainty. His mind was still combing through his dream trying to figure out why he had it in the first place.

“I made your favorite!” Patton looked to his sides as if to see if someone were around the corner. “Blueberry pancakes with whipped cream!” He whispered excitedly.

“No..I prefer tortured souls with a side of dry toast in the mornings..” Virgil said sarcastically with a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Uh huh..sure.” Patton smiled with a wink. “So did you want to join us?”

“Oh um..sure.” Virgil decided in order to distract himself from his brain.

They began to walk downstairs in silence. While Patton and Roman normally tied the contest of who’s the most talkative, Patton almost always respected Virgil’s preference of quietness when it was just the two of them. Patton would usually begin a conversation at first, but he’d always back off if it was clear Virgil didn’t want to talk.

“You doing alright buddy?” Patton asked gently “You seem a little off today.”

“Hmm? Oh I just have some things on my mind.”

“Well you know you can talk to me about anything. I’m here for you.”

Virgil stopped walking and turned to Patton.

“Have you ever…” Virgil began nervously.

“Have I ever what?”

“No, never mind it’s not a big deal.” Virgil hastily decided and began to walk again.

“Wait!” Patton sprinted in front of Virgil in order to stop him. “I really want to know what your question is! You know I won’t judge on whatever it is right?”

Virgil opened and closed his mouth debating on if he wanted to say it. He could feel his hands getting overly sweaty and his face getting warm.

“Haveyoueverhadadreamaboutanotherside?!”

“Have I ever..” Patton said slowly trying to process Virgil’s words. “Oh!! Yeah lots of times!”

Virgil took a step back “Wait really?” He said surprised.

“Oh for sure! About all of you! When I dream about Roman it’s normally about us putting together a play or singing songs. With you I usually dream about you and I going to the park to play a fun game or going to a concert you really like. And with Logan it’s normally about going to a museum or an art festival he enjoys. Anyway why do you ask? Did you have a dream about one of us?”

Virgil shuffled his feet nervously but feeling a little better knowing he wasn’t abnormal in having his dream.

“Yeah actually..but-“ Virgil's stomach interrupted with a loud growl.

“Ha! Let’s _table_ this conversation until after breakfast! You need to eat some food.”

Virgil smirked at the dad pun and quickly went downstairs with Patton eager to eat.

When they arrived in the kitchen Patton grabbed a plate for the two of them and placed a stack of pancakes on each plate while teasingly putting a piece of dry toast to the side of Virgil’s.

Patton was a little confused that no one else was in the kitchen as Roman had helped cook the pancakes this morning.

He shrugged and continued eating as normal when suddenly,

“VIRGIL!!” Roman yelled excitedly.

“Woah, loud much?”

“YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT LOGAN SAID TO PATTON LAST NIGHT!! Oh hey Patton.”

Patton stood up quickly mouth full of pancakes. “Don’t you dare Roman!” He tried to mumble out.

Roman gave a devious look to Patton. “He said that -mumph!!!” Patton scrambled out of his chair and quickly put his hand over Romans mouth to try to prevent him from speaking.

Virgil looked at the two incredulously with both confusion and a little excitement. “What’s going on?!”

“Don’t forget our deal Roman!!” Patton said sternly before Roman bit down on Patton’s hand which caused a yelp from the man.

“Ow! Really?!”

“Sorry I - mmm is that blueberry?! When did you add that? .. no I mean our agreement was for me not to tell Logan - not that I couldn’t tell Virgil either.”

“Roman I’m warni-“

“LOGAN SAID HE WANTED TO DEMONSTRATE ADULTERY WITH PATTON!!”

“Dammit Roman!”

Virgil’s jaw dropped as he sat dumbfounded for almost a full minute before simply saying “Really?”

Patton began to pace back and forth in the kitchen muttering to himself angrily as Roman proceeded to dish out the drama to Virgil from last night. “Alright so yesterday after you left my room when I was talking to Logan, I realized that he pretty much told Patton he was stupid for not knowing what adultery was and - I know rude right!? - I sent him over to Pattons room to apologize. SO, then I tiptoed over to Patton’s door to listen to make sure everything was going ok - don’t look at me like that - when I heard Patton ask Logan what sex is. Then-“

“Wait WhAT?” Virgil looked over to Patton in shock. “You really don’t know?!”

Patton stopped walking and buried his face in his hands turning red as he mumbled “just let him finish the story.”

“So It turns out Patton does know what it means and was just giving Logan a hard time. Hilarious - by the way. But THEN, Patton realized that earlier in the day he asked Logan to demonstrate adultery and apologized AND THAT’S WHEN LOGAN SAID HE’D DEMO-“

“What did I say?” Logan asked curiously walking into the kitchen.

The room fell eerily quiet with all eyes on him.

“It’s nothing Logan.” Patton said breaking the heavy silence. “Romans just being over dramatic as usual and telling Virgil all about the conversation we had last night.”

“Oh.” Logan said plainly, seeming not bothered at all by the eyes focused on him. He walked over to the stove grabbing a skillet and opening the fridge door. “Anyone else want some eggs?”

“OH MY GOD LOGAN HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!” Roman yelled exasperated, which caused Virgil to hit his arm giving him a stern look.

“What?! I just don’t understand how you - out of all of us - can’t remember what you said!!”

“I’m sorry, did I say something offensive Patton?” Logan turned to face Patton, his brow scrunched in both concern and trying to remember.

“No. You said nothing remotely offensive after we made up.”

“So you’re really not going to tell him.” Roman said voice filled with annoyance. “Fine I will, he deserves to know. Logan -“

“ROMAN!” Patton barked surprising everyone in the room, causing Logan to almost drop his egg on the floor.

“My goodness! Indoor voice Patton, please.”

“I apologize Logan.” Patton said more calmly. “Roman.”

“Patton.”

“If Logan deserves to know, then I believe Virgil does too.”

Roman sputtered, eyes growing wide. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Roman, I am a lot of things. Patient and compassionate being two of my traits. But if you want to continue down this road I will not hesitate to forgo those traits and get even with you. I do not believe telling Logan what he said or telling Virgil what we talked about, would do anyone in this room any good at the moment. Are we clear?”

Roman sat down in a huff crossing his arms and staring at his lap, as a child would after throwing a tantrum. “Yes.” He said quietly.

“I’m sorry?”

Roman sighed and lifted his head to look at Patton. “Yes we’re clear. I’m sorry Patton.”

“It’s alright, and thank you. Now eat your breakfast.”

The room got tense and quiet again with only the sound of silverware on dishes being present.

“Did that just happen?” Virgil whispered to Logan looking shocked.

“I believe it did Virgil.” Logan stated cutting into his eggs and toast. He then turned to face Patton. “But after all of the commotion that just proceeded in front of my eyes, shouldn’t I get a say in whether or not I should be allowed to hear what I said? If it caused this much drama, I believe I should take note on what it was to avoid doing it again.”

Patton sighed deeply. “Honestly Logan, it’s not as big of a deal as we’re making it out to be. I’m just trying to save you from inevitable embarrassment you will receive if you hear what happened. There’s no reason to be embarrassed because I know it was just a slip of the tongue, but Roman seems to think there was something else meant behind the words you said when there clearly wasn’t.”

Roman scoffed at this last statement.

“However, if you still want to know what you said at the end of the day, you can ask Roman and he’ll be happy to inform you. Now can we please be done with this topic?” Patton finished.

The other 3 sides nodded their heads in agreement all still a little shocked at how stern Patton was being.

“Good.” There was a small pause as Patton did his best to put on his signature happy smile to ease the tension. “Let’s talk about something else. Oh! How did everyone sleep last night? Any good dreams?”

As if on cue, Logan nearly choked on his food and began to cough harshly as he tried to clear his throat. This threw Virgil for a surprise as he was always the one to criticize Thomas for not chewing his food. After sipping some water to stop his coughing, Logan hoarsely informed everyone he was fine and began to drink some more water.

“That good of a dream, eh?” Roman murmured teasingly winking at Logan causing Virgil to suppress a loud laugh, and Logan to choke again on his water.

“I’m not sure what you are talking about Roman.” Logan responded, his face beet red betraying his words.

“Naw, I think you totally do. Let’s hear about your dream huh?”

“Ugh no thanks.” Virgil interjected. “Patton’s like my dad I don’t want to hear about that.” Virgil said with a face of disgust.

“Virgil we are all a part of Thomas! We are literally the same age.”

“Maybe...But no. Patton’s still the dad.”

“Or...” Roman turned his head dramatically to Logan and wiggled his eyebrows. “Is he more like..the Daddy?”

“Oh my fucking god Roman.” Virgil said sinking into his chair trying to bury himself in his hoodie.

Roman laughed hysterically eyes overflowing with tears, while Logan’s face turned confused.

“Well he is a father figure so I believe Daddy is an appropriate term young children can use when addressing him.”

Roman doubled over laughing harder clutching his side in pain.

“Why did I come to breakfast?” Virgil muttered to himself.

“I must have missed a joke somewhere, what is so funny about the term daddy? Oh god is this another slang word I need to look up?” He said, taking out an index card from his back pocket and writing the word ‘Daddy’ on it.

Roman held up 1 finger to get Logan to wait, while he tried to compose himself.

“Yes, Logan. You should.....definitely...look that up!” Roman said laughing in between words.

Patton looked around half amused and half confused.“Well I don’t really understand what's going on here, so let’s move on to something else. Oh! Virgil you were talking to me earlier about your dream. Why don’t we hear about that?”

“Yes, lets please do that.” Logan stressed, desperately trying to get the attention off of himself.

“Wait...No” Virgil sat up, eyes glancing back and forth suddenly remembering what the dream was about.

“Oh come on kiddo, you know I want to hear about it!”

Virgil squirmed uncomfortably in his chair before mumbling “It’s kind of private.”

“Oh well that’s fine, we can talk later if you’d like. How about you Roman?”

Roman didn’t respond at first, instead he seemed to be concentrated on staring at Virgil.. “Did you have a good dream too Virgil?”

Virgil’s face and neck grew bright red as he stuttered out an answer “W-what?! Ew no! It wasn’t that kind of dream Roman! God get your mind out of the gutter, it’s only 10am!”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware there was a time frame on one's mind being in the gutter. Is it roughly from the time you fall asleep to the time you wake up?” Roman replied smirking.

Virgil began to breathe a little heavier growing (surprise, surprise) anxious over all this embarrassing attention.

“Roman I believe Virgil said his dream was private, which means he’d rather not share it with us. You should respect that and move on.” Logan said.

“Thank you Logan that was very kind of you!” Patton agreed.

“Ugh it was just a joke Microsoft Nerd!”

“You’ve used that insult before. It doesn’t really seem to fit in here.” Logan pointed out.

“You know what Logan?..”

“Alright, Alright” Patton cut in, beginning to stand up. “Well, we’ve been chatting here for quite a bit, but I’ve got big plans today so I’ve got to be on my way soon.”

“What big plans could you possibly have?” Logan asked curiously as Patton’s daily routine consists mainly of watching tv shows, playing with arts and crafts, and occasionally going to the pet store.

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Patton replied.

“Why yes...that’s why I’m asking.”

“Well it’s a secret Logan you’ll just have to wait and find out later.” Patton said smiling. “Oh and before I leave I wanted to talk to you Virgil in my room if that’s alright.”

“Oh, um sure.” Virgil got up and began to follow before Patton stopped and turned to look at Roman.

“Roman, your cleaning up breakfast. You know why.”

Roman huffed and began to pick up the plates and silverware annoyed, when he saw Logan twiddling with his phone.

“You should, uh, really look that word up.” Roman smirked.

“Well I did Roman but everything I found I already know!”

“Oh...Well have you tried Urban Dictionary?”

“I don’t believe that’s a very reputable source Roman.”

“No, but it is the fastest way to learn slang terms.”

“Oh?” Logan said curiously.

He pulled up the website on his phone typed in the word “daddy”.

The Top definition?

**A name used, mostly by innocent young girls, to address an older guy that they either have sexual relations with or sexual interest in. In return, they are often called ‘baby girl’ or ‘Princess’. Often used in the context of a Dominant | Submissve relationship but also very often used in an innocent context, usually increasing sexual appeal to the ‘Daddy’.**

**(innocent) -  
** **“Go to bed.”**  
**“Yes, Daddy.”**

**(Intentional) -  
** **“Yes baby girl.”**  
**“Do you like that, Daddy?”**

Logan blinked a few times before quietly setting his phone down on the table.

Roman snorted at Logan’s face as it turned into an almost alarming shade of red.

“Still think all knowledge is good knowledge?”

Logan opened and shut his mouth at least 3 times before deciding to just not say anything and leaving with his phone clenched tight in his hand.

As Logan left he could hear the sound of plates being dropped and Roman roaring with laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long everyone! I have this habit of getting obsessed with something for like a month or so, then getting distracted by something else and forgetting about the first thing for a couple of months. Honestly, this is just kind of a fun side project for me so there’s no real end in sight. Which unfortunately also means I don’t know when the next chapter will be up. But I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know it doesn’t really go anywhere, but I sure had a fun time writing it. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Logan walked upstairs to his room with a lot running through his mind. While yes he did have a rather..inappropriate dream regarding Patton, Logan was absolutely befuddled on how Roman knew. And this new slang term Roman taught him, made him extremely conflicted.

_On the one hand yes, I still believe that all knowledge is good knowledge. One must learn from mistakes in the past in order to create a better future. On the other hand, WHAT. IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL. DID I JUST LEARN! Why?! Why would Roman want me to learn that? And why does it make me feel - ugh, feelings - so conflicted!? It shouldn’t! It is a term for children to use for parental figures. It shouldn’t be used in any relation to sex… so why doesn’t my body agree?_

Logan could feel his body beginning to react to the idea of calling Patton “Daddy”, despite his brain vehemently telling his body to stop.

_Wait.._ Logan thought _..If Roman thought I would be the one to call Patton Daddy, wouldn’t that mean that in this hypothetical relationship, Patton would be the dominant one?! Shouldn’t I be the dominant one?! I am the brains here and Patton is the heart. Plus, Patton is more submissive in our day to day lives already. ...Or is that the appeal? That one who is normally submissive or dominant can experience the opposite in the Bedroom…_

“Whoops! I almost bumped into you there Logan! Sorry about that!” Logan looked up to see Patton and Virgil walking out of Patton’s room with Virgil’s face red, likely due to embarrassment, but with a small smile on his face.

“Oh that’s alright da-Patton!! Patton is your name is it not?” Logan chuckled nervously as he surprised himself almost slipping up. “Yep you’re good ol’ Patton!”

Patton cocked his head sideways a little confused. “Yep, That is indeed my name! Don’t you go wearing it out now!”

Next to Patton Virgil’s mouth dropped, his eyes wide open in disbelief. “Did you seriously just..”

“HAHAHA! I’m not sure what your talking about Virgil, I have to go research some things now!!” Logan half shouted walking past the two as quickly as possible.

_Oh my lord, I can’t believe I almost said it!!_ Logan thought frantically shutting his door.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he almost said it.” Virgil said quietly, shocked beyond belief. _Shit Roman what did you start! I seriously did not want to think about the possibility of Logan having a Daddy kink!_

“Said what Virgil?” Patton asked curiously.

“OH! Um...You know I’d rather not say.” Virgil admitted.

“Well..Alright then.” Patton said a little deflated. “I just thought after our conversation, you might be open to telling me more.” Patton stopped suddenly and shook his head hard trying to get out of his brain. “Wait, No!! Wow, I’m sorry! I am definitely not trying to guilt you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable. I just spoke before thinking! Can you forgive me?!”

Virgil chuckled “It’s totally alright Patton. I know what you mean. I um..I might tell you later..Maybe. If I, ya know, mentally prepare myself to talk about it.”

“Oh Virgil! I promise, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I know Patton, but… I really appreciated our conversation just now. I want to do something to return the favor.” Virgil admitted to himself.

“Okay...well I promise I won’t be upset if you decide you don’t want to tell me.” Patton said sincerely. “I have to head out now, but I’m so glad we talked. Can I give you a hug?”

Virgil stiffened for a moment a little anxious about the hug, but then decided that it was Patton and he trusted him.

“Alright Patton.” Virgil said, arms open awkwardly.

Patton quickly but very softly gave Virgil a small hug, appreciating his son’s openness today.

Patton had on a big beaming smile as he exited the hug, before excitedly saying “Well I’m off to my secret adventure! I’ll see you soon!!”

Virgil smiled to himself as Patton nearly bounced downstairs on his way out the door.

Virgil went in his room and sat down on his bed thinking about the conversation he and Patton had.

_***Flashback*** _

Virgil began fiddling with his hoodie walking behind Patton to Patton’s room.

_Did I do something wrong? Why does Patton want to talk to me in his room?? Maybe it’s about my dream...Probably..ugh this is so nerve racking.._

“You’re not in trouble Virgil, there’s no need to be concerned.” Patton said smiling holding his door open for Virgil to walk through.

“How did you know?”

“You had a worried look your face. That’s all. I thought reassuring you might help you feel better.” Patton said sitting down on his bed and patting the spot next to him.

“Oh..” Virgil let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in and sat down next to Patton. He turned to face him. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Well we don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to.” Patton said making Virgil very confused.

“So why..”

“Why did I say I wanted to talk to you? Because if you’re willing to listen I would like to talk to you. That doesn’t mean you have to talk back.”

Virgil nodded quietly, appreciating Patton’s concern but also very interested in what he wanted to talk about.

Patton took a deep breath before starting.

“So I never got a chance to tell you how proud I am of you.” Virgil looked confused at this statement as Patton continued on. “You’ve made a lot of progress since Thomas started his medicine a few days ago. Just today you were willing to join us for breakfast without me informing you ahead of time, you opened up about your dream to me before breakfast, and you admitted at breakfast that your dream was private and you’d rather not talk about it!”

Virgil was definitely more confused now. “How is that progress? It doesn’t sound like much.”

“It may not sound like much but it is indeed progress. Just think about when Depression came to visit.”

Virgil shuddered just thinking about it.”I’d really rather not.” He said shakily.

Depression was a side that would show up occasionally throughout Thomas’ life that would negatively affect every single one of his other sides. Depression was able to trick Logic into faulty thinking by twisting facts and beliefs. He convinced Creativity that he was useless and shouldn’t be trying to put in the effort. He put Anxiety into hyperdrive making him nervous about the simplest of tasks he wasn’t normally nervous about. He would even manipulate Deceit to believe everything was out to get him, and he needed to lie about everything to protect Thomas. But depression affected Morality most of all. That his whole existence, everything he stood for and cared about, meant absolutely nothing and he was foolish for thinking otherwise.

“Well Depression is, unfortunately, a side of Thomas we’ve had to deal with before. It’s important to remember the times we’ve had with him, so we can be more prepared if he visits us again in the future. But the point I was trying to make with Depression, is that we had to convince Thomas, with the help of therapy, that the steps he made were indeed improvements. Remember how difficult it was for all of us collectively, just to convince ourselves and then Thomas to move from lying on his bed to lying on the couch? It didn’t seem like progress to him at the time, but it was indeed progress. A baby step is still a step forward in the right direction.”

“Yeah..I suppose that’s true.” Virgil said remembering how much Depression got to him.

“My point is you have made progress, despite how minuscule it may feel to you. And I’m so very proud of you for that.”

Virgil smiled, tears filling his eyes. “Thanks Patton.”

Patton saw the tears and began to worry. “Oh no I’m sorry! Did I upset you with something I said?”

Virgil chuckled. “No I’m just...happy that you’re here to support me. I really appreciate it...Dad.”

Patton’s eyes started welling up as well. “Aww! My sweet lil Anxious son, I love you so much!!”

“I love you too.” Virgil mumbled beginning to feel embarrassed.

They sat in silence for a couple seconds before Patton began speaking again.

“Well...that’s all I really wanted to talk about, unless you wanted to talk about something else..”

“I-“ Virgil was beginning to feel more comfortable talking with Patton and was debating on whether or not to talk about his dream, despite how embarrassing it was.

“I’d like to talk to you about my dream.”

Patton tried to hide his utter excitement at his statement as to not pressure the boy into saying anything he was uncomfortable with.

“But, I’d like to just spit it out before you respond, so could you wait to say anything before I’m done?” Virgil asked shyly.

“Absolutely.” Patton nodded. “Go ahead.”

Virgil took a deep breath, breathing in for 4 seconds and then breathing out for 7 before he began, staring into his lap.

“I’ve never actually had a dream about another side before. I used to try to avoid all of you because I was so uneasy around you guys before I became part of the group. So when I had this dream it really confused me.” Virgil paused seeing Patton’s head nod quietly from the corner of his eye. “So my dream was about...AGHH!!! ROMAN, IT WAS ABOUT ROMAN!!!” Virgil blurted out, before quickly covering his mouth.

He heard a small gasp from Patton and glanced up from his lap to see him smiling big. It seemed like he wanted to say something but instead he stayed quiet listening intently.

“I - GRR!! It was so weird!! I heard Someone knock on door, and when I opened it I saw Roman looking han- i mean he had on a nice suit, and he asked if i was ready, and i said ready for what, and he looked sad, but then he said for our anniversary, and he wanted to remind me why we got married, and I woke up and I’m really really confused!! WHY WOULD I DREAM ABOUT THAT?! DO I LIKE HIM?! WHAT IF H-“

Virgil stopped abruptly as he felt Patton’s hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down from his panic.

“Deep breaths Virgil.”

Virgil was shaking and his face was blood red from embarrassment as he tried to count while breathing in and out. After he was able to relax a little he nervously looked at Patton, his eyes glancing back and forth between Patton’s eyes to get a reaction. “What do you think?”

There was a pause before Patton said gently, “I think it can mean whatever you want it to mean.”

“What does that mean?!” Virgil said baffled.

“It means if you want to believe it was a romantic dream, then it’s okay to do so. But, if you want to just chalk it up to being a strange dream that’s ok too! Dreams don’t have to mean anything! I once had a dream where a lion was chasing me down the hall, and I saw Logan and Thomas playing Go fish and tried to get them to help, but they just ignored me so I ran downstairs in the dark and then saw a bunch of aliens!”

“I- WhAT?!?”

Patton laughed amusingly. “What I mean is, I could nitpick every aspect of that dream and say it was about my fear of danger, being ignored/overlooked, and my fear of the unknown...or I could just say it was a very weird dream and not think about it again! Your dream about being married to Roman doesn’t have to mean you secretly like him, or that he likes you. It could simply be a silly dream!”

“Oh.”

“You almost sound upset about that Virgil..”

“Well, I..It would just be easier if it was in black and white. If it means I do like him or I don’t.”

“Well sadly, our lives are not that simple. That’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself...does that help?”

“Yeah a little.” Virgil admitted. “Wait, you're not going to tell Roman right?!”

“Of course not! It’s not my place to tell...and if it makes you feel any better, I had a rather confusing dream about Logan last night that I need to figure out as well.”

“Really?” Virgil said surprised.

“Really, really. I’m pretty sure you and Roman have already been able to tell that I have a little bit of a thing for Logan.” Virgil nodded in agreement as he had noticed that throughout the past couple Sanders Sides videos. “But, honestly I’m still not quite sure what to think about my feelings. While I thoroughly enjoy Logan’s company and am happy to tease him, I have to be honest with myself and realize that it likely won’t go anywhere despite what Roman thinks. Logan is logic, and logic doesn’t particularly enjoy emotions and feelings.”

“Wow.” Virgil said quietly.

“Yeah, I know. And I have to trust that you won’t say anything about this to Logan right?”

“Of course I wouldn’t.”

“Good.” Patton said brightly. “Well I have to get going.” He kindly opened up the door and ushered Virgil out before almost bumping into Logan.

_***End Flashback*** _

_So how do I really feel about this dream?!_ Virgil thought to himself. _I think I’ve…I’ve been overthinking this dream. Maybe Patton was right..maybe it was just a weird dream and doesn’t have to mean anything...I should just focus on something else and see how I feel about the dream later._

Virgil decided that was the best solution as of now - to wait. He stood up to grab his sketchbook, a pencil, and his headphones from his desk, while taking out his phone from his pocket. He figured he should try listening to music and scribbling out some drawings while doing so. This always helped to distract himself and relax.

As he sat back down on his bed and began to readjust his headphones while scrolling through his songs, he finally began to relax. Unbeknownst to him however, Roman was on his way up the stairs to apologize.

_I suppose maybe I did push Virgil too far this morning.._ Roman thought to himself. _It was only meant as a joke, but Virgil is anxiety so he does get more embarrassed about things then I would._ Roman let out a small sigh. _I really am messing things up for us aren't I._

Roman stood in front of Virgil’s door just seconds away from knocking, when Logan burst out of his room looking all sorts of hysterical.

“ROMAN!” Logan shouted catching Romans eye. He gave an almost predatorial look to Roman before bolting down the hallway, grabbing him by his sash and pulling him towards his room.

“Hey, HEY! Easy with the sash, you could rip it!” Roman said surprised at how strong Logan actually was. “What has gotten into you?!”

Logan was breathing heavily as he nearly flung Roman onto his bed before quietly closing his door and pacing back and forth frantically in his room.

Roman began to get seriously concerned. “What is up w-“

“What is up with me?!” Logan said voice cracking a bit. “WHAT IS UP WITH YOU?!”

Roman looked at Logan blankly before giving up. “I seriously have no idea what’s going on.”

“Why Roman?! Why? WhY?! WHY?!”

“In the name of all things Disney, WHAT IS GOING ON?!”’

“GRR! WHY would you tell me to look THAT up?!”

Roman stared at Logan dumbfounded before it finally clicked.

“Wait. Is this about that Daddy joke?!!”

“ _Is this about that Daddy joke?_ ” Logan said mockingly. “OF COURSE IT IS! Why would you tell me to look it up?!”

Roman began to giggle at Logan’s whole reaction.

“WHA- IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Logan said angrily.

“Pfft! It kind of is!!”

“I - STOP LAUGHING!”

“I’m sorry Logan!” Roman said. (He was not sorry.) “But I hope you know you are acting extremely emotional at the moment..”

This almost seemed to make Logan angrier. “I AM NOT AC-“ Logan paused as he caught sight of himself in his mirror. His hair was disheveled, his face was bright red either in embarrassment or anger, his eyes looked extremely intense, and he had a huge scowl on his face.

“I-“ Logan sat down on the bed next to Roman. “Ugh.” He flopped backwards to lie down and stared at his ceiling.

“Why did that joke upset you so much?!” Roman said, interested in how that small statement made Logan into an almost vicious animal.

“Because I looked foolish...and now I can’t stop thinking about it.” Logan conceded with his arm covering up his eyes.

“Thinking about it?” Roman said teasingly. “Thinking about the context of the word or the fact that you like Patton and you want to call him that?”

Logan stayed quiet as he covered his entire face with his hands, trying to hide how red it was.

“OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT!!! I totally knew you had a thing for Patton!!”

“Ugh, saying it out loud makes it sound even worse.” Logan confessed hands still over his face.

“Wait how could this be a bad thing?” Roman said confused.

“Because I am LOGIC!! And now I have these gross feelings to deal with!” He stood up and began to pace back and forth again. “I understand the body’s physical reactions towards someone you like. You can get flustered and have a difficult time speaking, your hands can get moist, your heart begins to race. And if you really like this person's personality and/or their physique you can become aroused which can cause your -“

“AGHH STOP!” Roman said quickly. “I know what arousal is, there’s no need to spell it out Bill Nye. So what’s your point?!”

“My point,” Logan said angrily adjusting his glasses. “Is that while I’m aware of how the body reacts in theory, I’ve never personally had to feel these things, let alone the icky complicated feelings that they stem from! And I don’t like them!”

“Well no one likes feeling nervous around their crush. But it’s something everyone has to deal with.”

“So how do you deal with being around Virgil?”

“I-Wha-how’d- What!?” Roman stuttered out blindsided by Logan’s comment.

“Well it’s clear that you like him a bit more than a friend. You’ve seemed to go from constantly insulting him, to insulting him less so but with more nervousness and jokes to cover up your embarrassment. Plus your eyes seem to linger on him longer than they used to.”

“Ok, but seriously though!! How can you pick up on all that but not remember what you said last night!?!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Arghhh!!!” Roman said frustrated. “Will you just repeat after me so I won’t get in trouble with Patton? I need you to say ‘I want to know what I said last night, will you please tell me.’”

Logan rolled his eyes and began to repeat the words to appease Roman. “Fine. ‘I want to know-“

“YOU TOLD PATTON YOU WANTED TO DEMONSTRATE ADULTERY WITH HIM!!” Roman shouted excitedly.

“I-sai-wha-hmm?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been writing a bit more, and I think I’ve come up with a consistent schedule! My goal is to add a new chapter every Tuesday beginning today. And as always, I’d love to hear your comments on this chapter!!


	6. Chapter 6

Logan’s knees began to buckle as he became extremely light headed, surprising Roman along with himself at his reaction.

“WOAH, woah! Easy there Logan!” Roman said worriedly leading him to his bed.

Logan sat down and immediately put his head between his legs to try to calm his body down.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you..” Roman murmured shocked at Logan’s development.

Logan sat up quickly to look Roman in the eyes to try to say something, before he felt his stomach lurch at the movement and instead put his head back between his knees.

Roman started to really freak out at this, so he ran down the hall to Virgil’s room and began banging on the door.

“VIRGIL I NEED YOUR HELP! SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH LOGAN!!”

Virgil heard Roman’s yelling through his headphones, quickly jumped out of his bed, and swung the door open to see a frazzled Roman.

“C’MON!” Roman shouted grabbing Virgil’s hand and running back down to Logan’s room.

As Virgil walked in the room and saw Logan he began to panic.

“WAIT, WHY YOU BRING ME HERE?! I'M JUST GOING TO PANIC AND STRESS HIM OUT MORE!!”

“I DON'T KNOW VIRGIL, I PANICKED AND NEEDED SOMEONE HERE WITH ME!”

Virgil began to tug at his hair worriedly. “WELL WHAT DO WE DO?!”

“I DON'T KNOW I THOUGHT YOU WOU-”

“Trash can.” Logan said weakly.

The two looked over at Logan’s extremely pale face as he pointed to the trash can and began waving his hand towards himself.

“Oh!” Roman understood and quickly grabbed the trash can and gave it to Logan just milliseconds before he began to empty his stomach in it.

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD.” Virgil panicked walking in circles.

Roman scrunched up his nose at the sight and began to freak out again just as he heard the door to the house open.

“Patton’s back!!” Roman whispered standing frozen in fear.

Virgil ran out the door and down the hallway when he caught sight of Patton.

“DAD!!”

Patton turned his head quickly and alert to see his boy breathing heavily and eyes open in fear.

“LOGAN! HE..” Virgil started as he began to hyperventilate.

Patton jumped into action, shopping bag still in hand, as he raced upstairs to Logan’s room alongside Virgil. When he saw Logan getting sick in the trash can, and Roman looking panicked he immediately turned on his Dad mode.

“Ok, Roman, I need you to take Virgil into your room so he can calm down and then bring both me and Virgil a glass of water.” He said calmly and collectively.

Roman nodded his head feeling a little better now that Patton was here. As he ushered Virgil into his room still hyperventilating he quickly said “I’ll be right back babe.” Freezing at his words and then ignoring them as he ran into the kitchen to get the water Patton asked for. As he walked quickly back up the stairs careful not to spill the water, he handed a glass to Patton first who nodded in thanks, and then began to drink from the other glass of water nervously.

Patton looked up and smiled before saying, “Roman, uh, that water’s for Virgil but if you want some you can hand your glass off to him and get one yourself. I’ll let you both know when everything’s ok.”

Roman hadn’t even noticed he had began drinking the water until Patton pointed it out. He gave Patton an apologetic look before nodding and doing just as Patton said.

Once Roman left, Patton quietly closed the door and walked over to sit next to Logan. Logan continued to get sick in his trash can when he felt a hand on his back rubbing in circles. He looked over to see Patton sitting next to him eyes looking fondly back at him. Logan looked back down at the trash can only to dry heave at the sight. As he finally felt like his stomach was empty, he noticed he had been breathing in a little more steadily, unintentionally following Patton’s slow breathing patterns.

“Feeling better?” Patton asked softly.

Logan could only nod worried he might get sick again if he said anything.

Patton stood up and picked up another trash can in Logan’s room switching it out with the one Logan had, so he wouldn’t have to look at the contents of his stomach anymore.

Patton chuckled to himself softly. _Of course he has like 3 trash cans in his room. It’s Logan._

He opened the door quietly after tying up the trash bag and walked down to the curb to drop it off in the garbage bin.

As he walked back up the stairs he saw Roman peeking out of his room, eyes worried at Patton.

“It’ll be fine Roman, I’m just going to talk to Logan for a little bit until he calms down.”

Roman nodded and closed his door as Patton walked back into Logan’s and closed his.

Logan was holding onto the new trash can loosely while Patton sat down next to him and began to continue to rub Logan’s back and occasionally run his fingers through his hair. “Just a sip.” Patton said handing Logan the glass of water.

Logan was able to sit up and look at Patton as he took the water from him. He began to take a sip from the water when he realized he was pretty dehydrated and tried to drink more. Unfortunately Patton took the glass away from him. “Sorry, just a sip for now until you feel a little better.”

Logan looked back up at Patton feeling a tad annoyed that he was being treated like a child. When he saw Patton’s face however, he began to cry.

Patton gave Logan a small hug and leaned him into his chest to comfort him. Logan continued to cry, gasping for breath as his body shook..

“I-I’m s-orr-ry, Patt-ton. I do-ont under-s-stand why im cry-ying.”

“Shhh...shhh….” Patton comforted quietly. “It’s Alright Logan, there’s no shame in crying.”

“BUT TH-ERe I-is!!”

Patton held Logan tighter and continued whispering. “It’s alright Logan, just let it out.”

After a couple minutes Patton noticed Logans breathing had settled down considerably. He began to move to check on him until he noticed that Logan had fallen asleep in his arms fatigued from his body and likely foreign emotions.

Patton lifted up his hips to grab his phone from his back pocket, and made sure to put his phone on silent before typing a text to Roman.

_Logan’s asleep at the moment, but I can’t move or I’ll wake him - Are you and Virgil ok? - Patton_

He only had to wait a moment until Roman responded.

_Yeah we’re alright now. Thanks for helping calm us down. - *~Roman~*_

_No problem. After Logan wakes up I’m going to have a conversation with him and then I’d like to talk with you two. If you're reading this aloud to Virgil or if he’s looking over your shoulder, be sure you let him know that neither of you are in trouble and I’m not angry or upset with anyone. I love you both. Try to relax and distract yourselves until Logan wakes up. It might be a little while. - Patton_

Patton’s message took a minute or two to write due to typing with one hand. After he sent it he got an almost immediate response.

_Alright. Will do. - *~Roman~*_

Patton set his phone down next to him and leaned backwards slightly in order to support his back on the wall behind him. As he continued to hold onto Logan, he found himself nodding off as well.

It was about an hour and half before Logan began to groggily wake up, when he noticed he had been drooling on someone’s chest. He sat up slowly wiping the drool off of his face as he began to feel his head throb. He turned to see Patton stirring for a moment but was still quietly asleep. Logan was embarrassed to see there was a large drool stain on Patton’s shirt. He saw the glass of water sitting on the floor next to him and realized just how dry and chalky his mouth felt. He picked it up to drink a sip slowly to see how his stomach would react. Once he felt that his stomach was holding up, he decided to stand up slowly to go into his bathroom and brush his teeth.

While brushing his teeth he heard rustling around on his bed and saw Patton sitting up and smiling in the reflection of the mirror.

_Dammit why is he so cute, while I nearly barfed my brains out._

He knew that was an over exaggerated statement, but didn’t really care at the moment. He walked out of the bathroom and began to adjust his tie and clear his throat to thank Patton for his help. Patton however, stopped Logan before he could even speak.

“I’m going to stop you right there Logan.” Patton said smiling. “There is no need to put on a composed face in front of me. I just saw you throw up multiple times in a trash can, before falling asleep and drooling on me.”

Logan’s face turned red in embarrassment. “Yes well..” he began not really knowing what else to say.

Patton continued to smile at Logan as he patted the spot next to him on his bed.

Logan rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not a child Patton.” He said before walking over and sitting in that exact spot.

“I never said you were Logan.”

“Well..”

“Logan” Patton said softly. “Look at me please.”

Logan had been avoiding looking at Patton’s face once he sat next to him due to embarassment. He looked up slowly beginning to feel like a child in trouble.

Patton scanned Logan’s face to see if anything else was wrong. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I…” Logan looked back down at the floor. “I’d rather not.” Logan admitted.

Patton hummed in understandment.

“Well that’s fine Logan, but because it deals with your health, I will be asking Roman and Virgil what happened as well. I thought you might prefer to tell me directly rather than me hear it from someone else.”

“I…” Logan hesitated. “I don’t want you to think negatively of me.”

“Logan you know whatever you say to me, will not change my opinion of you.”

“Well that’s preposterous. What if I said I murdered someone?”

“First I would say I don’t believe you, because you would be too smart to admit to it. Then I would say it was likely in self defense. And if it wasn’t, I would say I still love you and would want to get you some help.”

“You love me?”

“Of course I do Logan. I love all of you.”

Logan stayed silent at this, a bit upset with himself for believing for a moment that Patton meant he loved him other than a friend. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you willing to tell me what happend?”

Logan sighed before turning his head away from Patton and looking in his bathroom mirror. From this angle he can look at Patton through the mirror without the embarrassment of looking at him directly in the eyes.

He swallowed the lump that was in his throat and began. “Roman told me.” He said quietly.

“Told you?”

“Told me what I said to you.” As he looked in the mirror to gauge Patton’s reaction he saw multiple emotions flow through his face. He was almost impressed at how Patton could express so much. He first saw confusion, then a flicker of anger, and then what looked like sadness.

“I see.” Patton said quietly. “And the idea of what you said made you sick?”

Logan froze for a moment confused at what he just heard. He turned around shocked. “What?”

Patton tried to not let his hurt feelings overtake his face as he looked into Logan’s.

“The idea of participating in adultery with me made you physically ill, correct?”

_It’s now or never Logan. You need to tell him.You can’t have him believe that you were so repulsed by the idea of sleeping with him, that it made you sick._

Logan opened up his mouth to say _“No, it’s the idea that I’ve embarrassed myself by letting my feelings known before I was ready to, made me sick. It’s the idea that you won’t see me in the same way! It’s the idea that I, Logic, have been dealing with emotions and confusing physical feelings that all culminated into making me ill! It’s the fear that you won't love me as much I love you.”_

But instead a single word flowed out of Logan’s mouth. A word he never expected himself to say. A word he would be angry at himself for saying for weeks afterwards. A single 3 letter word.

_**“Yes.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, my hand slipped!
> 
> As always let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

_**“Yes.”** _

The word felt foreign coming off of his tongue. So much so he wasn’t even sure if what he spoke was English. The moment the word rolled off his tongue he saw an image he never wanted to see.

_Patton flinched._

It was small and subtle, but it was indeed a flinch.

And then the weirdest thing happened. Patton smiled. But it didn’t seem like a fake smile. It looked genuine, despite his bodies reaction.

_What the hell just happened Logan?!? And why is he smiling?...it’s fake right? It can’t be real. But...I’ve seen Patton smile like that before. Were those fake as well?_

He heard a sigh from Patton and refocused his eyes on the man.

“Well, I’m sorry about that Logan. I was afraid Roman might embarrass you if he told you, but I didn’t realize it would have such a strong reaction.”

Logan’s mouth had dropped the moment he realized what he said, and he hadn’t been able to close it yet to reply to Patton.

Patton stood up looking at Logan. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Logan continued to stare at Patton, his mouth open like a gaping fish.

“Well alright then, I need to check on the other two, but I hope you feel better m’kay?”

Patton walked out the door closing it quietly.

He leaned his back on Logan’s door with both hands covering up his mouth trying to avoid letting out a loud sob.

He was breathing in and out rapidly, as tears began to collect at the corners of his eyes.

_No, Patton. Not yet. First check on Roman and Virgil._

He wiped the tears out of his eyes and tried to collect himself. He needed to stay together for the other two. He took slow breaths in and out to calm his nerves and then began walking towards Romans door. He knocked softly expecting a quick response, but instead heard nothing.

“Roman?” He said quietly as he knocked again. After hearing no response for the second time he slowly opened up the door and saw what he believed to be an adorable sight. Roman and Virgil were also asleep, but Roman seemed to have thrown his arm and leg over Virgil as if to shield him from harm, while Virgil was curled up in the fetal position facing Romans chest.

Patton smiled genuinely at the sight, before quietly closing the door and walking back to his own room. The minute he walked into his room and closed his door, he couldn’t be bothered to take off his shoes or jacket and instead went straight to his bed to lie under the covers and let all of his emotions out. And there were a lot of them. He began to bawl, holding on to his pillow tightly to try to comfort himself. His brain was running a million miles an hour to where he couldn’t even catch up with his thoughts. After sobbing so hard, for so long, he realized that he himself was going to get sick and leaned over his bed to his trash can to just let it out. He could feel his body jolt at the surprise, as he threw up forcefully into his own trash can. Once he let his stomach empty, he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket, took it off, threw it across the room, then rolled over to the other side of the bed not caring about disposing of the vomit in his trash can at the moment. He continued to cry harshly until the physical fatigue finally kicked in and he nodded off to sleep.

In the meantime while all of this went on, Virgil and Roman had a different experience.

“I’ll be right back babe.”

Once Roman had ushered him into his room and ran to get the water, Virgil thought he heard those words come out of Romans mouth. But as soon as he heard them Roman walked away to get some water.

_I must be hearing things. There’s no way he said that._

Virgil sat on Romans bed breathing in and out furiously trying to calm himself down.

_Patton is here. He’s helping. He Cares. My Dad is here to help._

Repeating these words in his head, he began to calm himself down. At this time Roman walked in the door with a glass of water. “I uh, may have drank a bit of it. Sorry.”

Virgil only nodded as he was still trying to control his breathing.

Roman walked over to sit next to Virgil and set the glass down. He lifted his hand awkwardly to comfort Virgil by patting his back, but instead it just hovered over for a couple seconds before retreating back into his lap.

“I hope Logan’s ok.” Roman muttered.

Virgil finally felt his breath become even again and took a big drink of water. After letting out a big sigh, he could finally talk.

“Yeah me too.”

Roman sat awkwardly next to Virgil before letting out an angry growl.

“What’s wrong?”

“I- Grr!! I’m supposed to be the brave one!!”

“Okayy…” Virgil said slowly.

Roman stood up and began pacing. “Well I was hardly brave today!! I panicked at someone feeling faint!”

Virgil snorted “Yeah that’s not very heroic..”

(Insert offended princey noises here.)

“Well excuse me, I at least tried to help.”

“Wha- what was I supposed to do in that situation? Having me there is literarily inviting more anxiety!!”

“Yeah well…” Roman stopped and peaked out the door as he heard Patton walk out the house and back in.

Roman pulled his head back in the room and gave out a relieved sigh.

“Patton said he was going to talk to Logan until he calms down.”

He sat back down next to Virgil and began to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Virgil asked confused at the reponse.

“I just remembered that you called Patton ‘Dad’!”

Virgil’s cheeks began to grow warm. “Yeah...So?”

“I just think it’s cute is all!”

“YOUR-cute...Wait that didn’t make sense.” Virgil retorted trying to insult him back but failing to do so.

“Well you're not wrong there!...And next up is Logan!”

“Next up to do what?”

“Call Patton Daddy.”

Virgil cringed. “Ugh, C’mon Roman!! Don’t make this weird.”

“It’s the truth!! Now that I know he wants to, its only a matter of time!”

“Wait, what?”

Roman froze and realized what he said.

“Uh, I mean let’s watch a Disney movie!! How about Moana?”

Virgil turned his body to face Roman. “No. What did you say about Logan?”

“Nothing!! Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay...how about let’s talk about why you called me Babe.”

Roman sputtered at the statement as he had already forgotten he said that.

“I said no such thing!!” Roman just flat out lied.

“I know, so let’s talk about Logan.”

“Fine!!” Roman gave up quickly. “I’ve been wanting to tell someone since I found out anyway.

“When did you find out?”

“Before Logan got sick.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “So what did you find out?”

“LOGAN LIKes Patton!!” He half shouted, half whispered as he didn’t want Patton to overhear.

“What?! But...why? I mean, how?”

Roman began to respond when he got a text from Patton.

“Oh! Patton just texted. He says Logan’s alright! He fell asleep on him and now he can’t move!! Awwww! But he wants to know if we’re ok. You ok?”

“Yeah Roman, I’m ok.” Virgil mumbled out.

“Ok I’ll let him know.”

He waited for a response annoyed it seemed to be taking Patton so long.

“God are all dads this slow?” Roman asked Virgil teasingly.

“Oh shut it.”

“Finally! Patton says he’s going to want to talk to us once Logan wakes up.”

Virgil began to feel his chest tighten in fear. “I-”

“But, he wants me to let you know that neither of us are in trouble and he’s not angry with anyone. And that he loves us, blah blah the usual stuff.”

Virgil smiled at that. _He really knows me._

“Ok so what’s this about Logan liking Patton?”

“Oh! Right! So he was mad at me earlier for teasing him about the Daddy joke, and I informed that he was being very emotional.”

“He must have loved that.” Virgil said sarcastically.

Roman ignored his statement and continued on. “So then once he realized that I was right,” Roman said glaringly. “I asked if he was more upset about the fact the he didn’t know the sexy meaning behind the word, or that he wanted to call Patton that!!”

“And…?” Virgil said expectantly.

“And he stayed quiet!! Once I told him I knew that he liked Patton he admitted to it!

“Ok…” Virgil said slowly. “So why’d he get sick?”

“I -hm. I don’t really know.”

“Well, what’d you say before he got sick?”

“Um...Oh! I told him he told Patton he wanted to demonstrate adultery with him!! And then he almost passed out and that’s when I came to get you.”

“Why did you get me by the way?” Virgil asked curiously.

Roman seemed to blush at this statement. “I don’t know I panicked!”

“So then you wanted more anxiety?” Virgil said amused.

“No, I wanted YO-u!...” Roman blurted out.

The room fell awkwardly silent, as Virgil wasn’t sure whether or not to feel offended or pleased at that statement.

Virgil cleared his throat, starting to stress about the awkwardness. “So, um, Moana?”

Romans face lit up as he grabbed the movie and popped it in before you could say ‘Your Welcome!’.

He scooched back on his bed to lean against the back of the wall and waved to Virgil to do the same, who did begrudgingly.

After about 20 minutes in Virgil started to doze off and decided that he was going to take a proper nap. Since Roman wanted him to stay however, he thought he’d compromise and just nap on Romans bed. About 10 minutes later, Roman turned the movie off as he was also starting to fall asleep.

He decided to lay down facing the opposite direction of Virgil, as to not startle him as when woke up. He had forgotten however, that he rolled around a lot in his sleep and ended up splayed nearly on top of him.

While Roman, Virgil, and now Patton were asleep, Logan was still on his bed wide awake trying to figure out what just happened.

 _Ok, I need to understand why I lied to Patton._ Logan thought to himself. A small part of his mind he was trying to ignore however, decided to speak up. _You know why. Stop fooling yourself. You were scared, and you lied to protect yourself from feeling vulnerable._ He scowled at the thought. _Ok...yes, while that’s true.. it still doesn’t explain Patton’s reaction. ...But it does, doesn’t it? He doesn’t like you the same way. Why else would he smile at your response?_

Logan was beginning to get angry at the back and forth in his mind. _Oh! You should write down the events that happened today to gain more data._

This made Logan feel calmer so he stood up and moved to his desk. He grabbed a blank notebook and wrote the following:

Date: 02/20/2018

  * Roman informed you of a new slang term at breakfast. “Daddy”


  * You researched the term and felt embarrassed at what you learned.
  * You then grew angry at your body’s physical reaction (arousal) at the term.


  * You nearly said the word to Patton on your way back up from breakfast. Due to Virgil’s reaction you can conclude he may have realized what you almost said.


  * You heard Roman in the hall and pulled him forcefully into your room.


  * He found your reaction amusing and then pointed out you were acting emotional.


  * On this rare occasion, he was correct.


  * He then told you what you said to Patton last evening. Something to the extent of “I'd like to demonstrate adultery with you.”


  * Your body reacted negatively to this new information as you immediately felt faint and then later vomited.


  * Patton took control of the scenario and stayed with you to provide comfort as you got sick.


  * You fell asleep and drooled on Patton.


  * When you woke up, he asked for the reason behind your sickness.


  * You informed him Roman told you what you said.


  * Patton asked if it was the idea of committing adultery with him made you sick.


  * **You said lied and said yes.**


  * He flinched for a moment and then smiled and walked out.



Logan sat back and looked over what he wrote.

“ARGH! This doesn’t provide enough data!!” He said to himself.

_You need to collect more data. You should write down your interactions with him in order to have a clearer understanding of how he may feel about you. This may also provide data into the emotions you feel during those interactions, with further research._

Logan decided that he did like this idea and was interested to see how the results would turn out. He spent the next couple hours perfecting his plan until he was interrupted by a growling stomach.

 _Well I suppose emptying out ones stomach would correlate with being even hungrier than on average._ Logan looked at the time and saw it read 5pm. _Gosh how long have I been working on this? Never mind that. However, as it’s dinner time I should expect to see Patton as well as the others in the Kitchen._

Logan felt a twinge in his heart as he almost began to worry Patton might not be there, and would be avoiding him. He ignored this feeling however, as that would mean Patton felt the same way about him and would thus be hurt at what he said. Based on the current data he had, he could not conclude one way or the other how Patton felt about him.

He began walking toward his door when he accidently knocked over the glass of water Patton brought up, which in turn spilled over a plastic shopping bag.

Logan grumbled at himself, annoyed he hadn’t moved the glass earlier to avoid this scenario. He grabbed some paper towels on his desk and began cleaning up the spill when he realized it wasn’t his shopping bag the water spilled onto.

 _Patton brought this in the room didn’t he. He wouldn’t know if I peeked in and saw what it was would he._ Logan still felt a little iffy at that idea, so he turned the bag upside down and let the contents fall out on the floor. _Whoops! Now I have to clean this up!_ He thought bemused at his little loophole.

As he looked at the contents of the bag his curiosity peaked. There was a box that said “Worlds best Emo” that contained a mug. According to the box when it’s cold liquid, the mug is black and when it’s warm liquid, the mug changes to white and the word Emo changes into Son. Logan gave a crooked smile at that as he put it back in the bag. Next there were tickets to see the Lion King put on by the closest high school. There was a book titled ‘Best dad jokes of the century.’ There was even the first season of Scandal. And Lastly there were a few random items: a cheap dollar store crown, a packet of rhinestones, a fake sword and a single Black Sharpie.

As Logan realized that these were likely gifts, he felt hurt at the fact that there seemed to be a gift for everyone except for him. The mug for Virgil, the Book for Patton, the theater tickets and crafts for Roman, and the even first season is Scandal he could deduce was for Deceit.

_A gift for Deceit who impersonated you and upset Virgil but nothing for me? No. Get it together Logan, these are just physical objects. They hold no proof that Patton doesn't care for you._ He tried to remind himself. _..Yes, but the fact that you were omitted out of the gifts could mean something._

Logan tried ignore his thinking as he put everything back into the bag and wiped up the water off of the floor. He took the shopping bag with the multitude of contents along with the glass of water downstairs. When he arrived in the kitchen he found Patton cooking what looked like chicken and Roman and Virgil sitting next to each other having a quiet argument. When Virgil saw Logan he quickly tried to quiet Roman and began to speak loudly.

“HEY LOGAN!”

The first thing Logan noticed was that Patton’s back seemed to tense up but relaxed just a moment later. Logan sat the shopping bag down on the floor away from the kitchen to give to Patton later, and began to walk over to the sink to empty out his glass of water and put the glass in the dishwasher.

“Good evening Patton.” Logan said kindly.

“Good evening Logan! Feeling any better?” Patton said with no anger or uneasiness in his voice.

“Yes I am. Thank you for your help today.”

“You’re very welcome! Are you hungry? I’m making some chicken! Hopefully that doesn’t _ruffle your feathers._ ” Patton said smiling.

Logan resisted the urge to smirk at the dumb pun and instead made a normal quip about how that’s a pointless remark as he, nor the chicken, have feathers at the moment.

He sat down and pulled out an index card and began to write down points about his interactions.

  * I believed Patton tensed up for a moment at dinner when Virgil announced my arrival, but he seems to be reacting as his usual self. This makes me _feel_ upset, as it likely proves he isn’t bothered by what I said.



“What you writing over there Shakespeare? A love note?” Roman said teasingly.

Logan glared at him as to warn him not to continue. Roman rolled his eyes and turned back to Virgil to continue their quiet bickering. Not too long later Patton took out the chicken from the oven and and prepared a plate for everyone. After Patton gave a plate to everyone and himself, Logan thanked him and began to pick up his silverware.

“Would you like some salt Logan?” Patton asked.

Logan opened up his mouth to say ‘yes’, but he felt his heart constrict at the thought of saying that word to Patton again.

“Please.” He responded instead.

He looked up from his food as he heard Roman take a large breath and almost rose from his seat as if he was going to yell at someone, before Virgil leaned into his ear and whispered something. Whatever he said caused Roman to stop, look at Patton’s smiling face, and breathe out slowly sharing a look with Virgil.

Dinner continued as it normally would. Patton made puns, Roman was talking about an adventure, Virgil was pretty quiet only chiming in to insult Roman, and Logan talked about a new topic of interest.

Everything seemed to be back to the way it was.

For Roman and Virgil however, that couldn’t be farther than the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the amount of hurling that’s been going on. But I would like to point out that it is actually possible to get yourself sick from crying too harshly - I unfortunately know this from experience. 
> 
> The next chapter is a continuation of what’s going on - I decided to make one long chapter into two shorter ones.
> 
> But anyways, comments are always welcome & encouraged!


	8. Chapter 8

Earlier that day, while Logan was busy working on his plan to collect data from Patton and his interactions, Virgil began to slowly wake up from his nap. He felt a comforting presence near him and snuggled closer to it instinctively. It was only when his eyes were truly open, that he realized that presence was Roman who had his arm wrapped around him. Virgil froze at this information, terrified at the reaction Roman might have.

 _FUCK! Is he going to be mad at me? ...wait..what for?_ His brain argued back. _I-I don’t know! Maybe he’ll be grossed out or something! Whatever, this is just scary! It’s comfortable, I’ll admit, but scary._

He realized he had been unintentionally holding his breath for so long, it had gotten to the point where his lungs felt like they were burning. He let out an uneven shaky breath trying to be as quiet as possible, while slowly trying to scoot backwards to get out from under Romans arm. But like always, Roman seemed to have a different opinion, as he didn’t really seem to like this movement. Instead, he took his arm and pulled Virgil back even closer to him than before. Roman sighed happily on top of Virgil’s head, as Virgil was now facing Romans chest.

Virgil began to feel his whole body tense up, as he wanted to enjoy this, but was too afraid of Romans reaction to do so. Instead he tried to lift Romans arm off of him again as slowly as possible as to not wake him. Roman began to stir at the movement however, and opened his eyes to see Virgil frozen, eyes wide and heart pounding.

“Hey Virgil.” Roman said sleepily.

_Virgil?_

“OH FUCK, VIRGIL!!” Roman shouted as he realized he was cuddling the other man. He scrambled backwards and fell off the bed.

“Is that a request?” Virgil quipped back without thinking.

He froze again as he realized what he said, and began to panic. He looked over the side of the bed to see why Roman hadn’t gotten up off the floor yet, and saw Romans body shaking.

“Oh my god all you alright?!” Virgil asked worried.

Virgil saw Roman roll over to his back as he was laughing.

 _“Is that a request?!!”_ Roman laughed loudly at Virgil’s response. “That was gold!”

“Oh shut up.” Virgil said blushing.

Roman stood up and checked his clock, only to realize it was already 3:30pm.

“Well, looks like I wasted most of my day away sleeping.” Roman said annoyed at himself.

“Sorry.” Virgil said quietly.

“For what? I-”

“Wait wasn’t Patton supposed to talk to us?” Virgil interrupted.

“Huh - yeah I believe he was. Why do you want to go check on your Daddy?” Roman teased.

Virgil cringed again at that comment. “Seriously Roman. Enough with the Daddy jokes. I’ve just gotten comfortable enough with Patton to actually call him Dad - I don’t need you making it into a weird sex thing.”

“Oh….I’m sorry Virgil.” Roman said sobering up at Virgil’s response.

“Whatever.” He replied bitterly. “Let’s go check on Patton.”

Roman nodded and followed Virgil out of his room over to Patton’s.

“Patton?” Virgil asked knocking on his door. He looked at Roman, and decided to be brave and not worry about what he thought of him at the moment. “Dad?” That quickly caused a response as he heard Patton’s voice sound a little raspy.

“Just a moment!”

Patton had woken up out of his daze when he heard someone knocking on his door, but the minute he heard ‘Dad’ is when he jumped out of bed. He threw the jacket he wiped his mouth on in the laundry hamper, he gagged while tying up up the trash bag from earlier, and put it in his bathroom trash can which had a lid on it. He then brushed his teeth in record time and sprayed some air freshener in his room and bathroom to cover up the lingering scent of sitting vomit.

He walked over to the door and put on his best ‘Happy-Pappy Patton’ smile before opening the door.

“How’re you doing kiddo?” Patton said in his almost-perfect chipper voice.

Virgil walked in Patton’s room and looked at him questioningly.

“Ugh, it smells like a meadow threw up in here!” Roman commented. He gained a hard nudge in the arm from Virgil at that remark.

Patton ignored the comment and instead focused on Virgil. “Was there something you needed?”

Virgil looked at Patton closely before responding.

“What happened?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure what your talking about buddy.”

“Patton, I thought you were going to stop pretending. We talked about this with Thomas.”

Patton’s mouth began to hurt as he was forcing it into a smile.

“I’m sorry Virgil, I’m just not und-”

“Patton.”

“Did you want me to cook some early dinn-”

“Patton.”

“How does chicken soun-“

“ _DAD_.”

Patton’s face fell as soon as he heard Virgil use that harsh tone while calling him Dad.

“ _WHAT. HAPPENED._ ”

Patton slowly sat on his bed and began to stare at the floor.

This caused Virgil to get on his knees and look at Patton on his eye level.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” Virgil asked softly.

Patton looked at Virgil and smiled at the sight before him. He then looked up to Roman.

“I can - um - I can leave if you’d like.” Roman said after clearing his throat.

“Now why would you do that?” Patton asked kindly.

“Well, you and Virgil seem to be pretty close. I don’t want to invade your space.”

Patton looked down to Virgil and quietly asked him “Would you like him to stay?”

“Only if that’s okay with you.” Virgil blushed.

Patton gave him a quick wink before responding to Roman. “It’s fine if you stay Roman. But please keep what I say in my room. I’d prefer no one else know what I’m about to say.”

“Alright, Patton.” Roman responded his curiosity peaked.

“That means keep your fucking mouth shut Roman.” Virgil teased looking at him.

(More offended Princey noises.)

Patton just smiled at the two amused.

Virgil turned back to face Patton. “Now will you tell me what happened?”

Patton’s smile quickly fell. “You know, I take it back. I’m not sure I’m ready to do that.” His eyes started to water and tears began to drip down his face.

“ _Dad._ I won’t force you. But I was brave by sharing my dream with you. Will you be brave and share what happened to you with me?”

Patton smiled at the young boy proud of how far he’s come. He wiped his tears off with his hands and then began to take deep breaths.

“In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8.” Virgil said breathing in and out slowly with Patton.

He looked over his shoulder to see Roman had gotten on his knees as well, and was doing the same.

“Alright.” Patton began. “So, after Logan woke up, I asked him what caused him to get sick. He told me that Roman had told him what he had said to me last night.”

“The adultery thing?” Roman whispered out.

Patton nodded. “So I asked him the next most logical question. If what he said last night was the cause of him getting sick.”

Roman and Virgil looked at each other confused.

“What do you mean?” Virgil asked.

“I asked him if the idea of participating in adultery with me was the reason he got physically sick.”

Virgil and Romans mouths both dropped instantaneously.

“And he said no right?” Roman asked expectantly.

After a moment of silence Virgil asked a similar question. “Patton...Did he say yes?”

Patton could only continue to cry.

Roman stood up in a rush pronouncing “I’m so gonna kick that nerd’s ass.”

“No, please.” Patton said exhaustedly. “I already knew he wouldn’t feel the same way. I just didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.”

“But Logan does feel the same way! He told me before he got sick!”

“Roman, please don’t try to twist this. It’ll just hurt me more.” Patton said tiredly.

Roman guffawed at this starting to argue his point when Virgil held his hand up to Roman as to stop him.

“I’d there anything we can do Dad?” Virgil asked quietly.

“Just...pretend like this never happened. I want things to go back to normal.”

Virgil looked down as felt conflicted at this statement. He wanted Patton to feel comfortable enough to admit he was hurt to Logan, but he also didn’t want to push him to get even more upset at Logan’s possible reaction.

He looked back up to Patton only to see more tears stream down his face as he whispered the word “ _Please_.”

Virgil’s heart broke. “Alright. That’s what we’ll do for now. But if you don’t feel better in a week, we need to tell Logan.”

Patton really didn’t want to have to tell Logan how he felt ever, but if that’s the deal he could bargain with Virgil then that’s the deal he’d take.

Patton wiped his tears off from his face and tried to go back to his normal self.

“You know, I know it’s early but chicken does sound good. Is it ok if I make dinner early?”

Virgil paused. “Will that help?”

“Yes. It really would.”

“Ok, well then that sounds good to me. Roman?”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me as well.” He said defeated. He really wanted to argue that Logan admitted to liking him, but the look on Virgil’s face told him to wait.

Patton stood up. “Alright. I uh, need to take my trash out first, but then I’ll wash my hands and get started right away.”

“Your trash?” Roman asked confused. “But why n-”

He saw Virgil shake his head as to stop him, which made him frustrated. However, knowing Virgil’s closer to Patton he decided to drop it.

“Alright, why don’t you two go downstairs and relax for a bit? I’ll be down soon.”

“Okay Patton.” Virgil said quietly standing up. “Roman would you help me get the plates and silverware out?”

“Ugh…” Roman whined. “But I helped clean up breakfast!”

“Roman, I will physically fight you!” Virgil threatened jokingly causing Patton to chuckle.

“Fiiiine.”

Roman and Virgil left Patton to collect his trash and began to walk downstairs.

“Why on earth does he need to take out his trash right now?” Roman murmured.

“Remembered what you said when you walked in his room?”

“Yeah it smelled like a meadow threw up.”

Virgil looked at Roman somberly. “I think he did.”

“What? How does a meadow throw up?”

“God Roman how can you be this dumb yet so cu-“ Virgil stopped himself and took a deep breath. “I mean I think Patton got sick.”

“And he’s just cleaning it up now? Eww. Nasty.”

They walked in the kitchen and began setting the table.

“Do you remember when Depression came to visit?”

“Yes, but I’d rather not.”

“Well, we all reacted to Depression differently. He caused you and Logan to be high-functioning, and Patton and I to be low-functioning.”

“Ah. ...Wait, what does that mean?”

“It means that while you and Logan were manipulated by Depression, you were still able to manage daily tasks. While Patton and I were under Depression’s spell, we weren’t able to function. I couldn’t leave my room due to being anxious about walking into any of you and Patton was barely able to get out of bed. He also had a really hard time keeping up with his hygiene.”

“So-” Roman stopped as Patton had walked out of the house shielding his body over the trash as if to hide it. “So, are you saying that Depression may be coming to visit?” Roman whispered.

“Maybe. We just have to be careful and keep an eye out.”

Patton walked in the house and went to kitchen sink to wash his hands vigorously, and than began to prep the food.

“I still think we should talk to Logan about this.” Roman whispered stubbornly.

“I know but we need respect Patton’s decision. He gave us a week.” Virgil whispered back.

This continued for another 30 minutes, while occasionally changing the subject when Patton seemed to be listening.

After what seemed like forever, Logan came downstairs looking focused. Virgil announced Logan’s entrance to give Patton fair warning to his arrival.

Roman and Virgil listened intently as Logan walked by Patton and seemed to converse for a moment. They turned back to bickering about nothing, just to keep themselves looking normal.

Roman noticed Logan pull out a index card and began to write something down, brow furrowed in concentration.

“What you writing over there Shakespeare? A love note?”

Logan gave Roman a very serious look, which made Roman question whether or not he was lied to.

“I swear, I might kick his ass later today.”

“Roman, you need to respect Patton.” Virgil whispered harshly.

Roman sighed as Patton dished out the food.

“Would you like some salt Logan?” Patton asked.

Roman watched as he saw Logan hesitate and then say “Please.” Not “Yes.” As he saw that hesitation it almost caused him to go into a rage, knowing what he said to Patton. Roman nearly stood up tempted to flip the table as he was about to go off on Logan.

At the same time Virgil had been getting more and more nervous that Roman might blow Patton’s cover, despite him almost wanting to himself. But when he also heard Logan say “Please” instead of “Yes” he turned to look at Patton and his heart dropped. He immediately turned back to Roman and, though it made him extremely uncomfortable, got close to his ear and whispered something.

“His eyes Roman. Look at Patton’s eyes.”

Roman stopped and turned still in a quiet rage when what he saw made him sit down. Patton had on his signature ‘Happy-Pappy Patton’ smile on and seemed normal. But his eyes told a different story. They looked incredibly sad and were beginning to form tears at the corners. He let out a small sigh and sat back down.  
  
Virgil and Roman shared a look agreeing that they needed to act normal - for Patton. So Roman began acting over dramatic and Virgil would insult him over everything - the normal stuff. They noticed that the longer dinner went on, the happier Patton truly became. So they pretended. At the end of dinner however, each side all had the same thought:

_“I’m not quite sure how long I can keep pretending.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be up in about a week! 
> 
> As always comments are not only welcome, but encouraged! 
> 
> I love reading what you guys think!


	9. Chapter 9

Dinner had ended soon and Virgil and Roman left to go into their respective rooms to relax and enjoy an early evening off, as Patton and Logan cleaned up.

“Um, Patton?” Logan asked hesitantly as the two were cleaning up the dishes.

“Yes Logan? What can I do for you?”

“You, uh, you left your shopping bag in my room when you came in to help me. I’ve brought it downstairs for you.”

“You didn’t look in it did you?” Patton said worriedly.

Logan gulped. “No. I didn’t.” He lied, feeling a churning in his stomach.

“Oh good.” Patton said relieved. “Where is it?”

_He must be happy that I don’t know he didn’t get me a gift._ Logan thought feeling hurt. 

“It’s by the stairwell.”

“Thanks Logan!” Patton said wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Sleep well.”

He walked away leaving Logan alone by the sink.

_I still can’t tell!! He just seems like his normal self. It must not have hurt him as I thought I did._

Logan sighed and headed to his room to contemplate what happened today.

The week went on as normal as it possibly could with the underlying conflict between all of the sides. Patton, Roman, Virgil, and Logan, each had a single emotion that grew larger as the week went on. Patton had grown more and more upset that while he wanted things to go back to normal, his heart could barely stay together whenever he saw Logan. Roman grew even angrier at the situation as this was something he could not physically battle through, and had to keep quiet about. Virgil was getting more and more distressed as he could pick up on the others emotions and that made him incredibly anxious. And Logan was very confused through all of this. While he was paying more attention to Patton and his conversations, he had also noticed Roman and Virgil seemed to have a short fuse when talking to him. This soon ended in Thomas having to call a meeting as his emotions were all over the place.

“Patton, Logan, Roman, Virgil!! I need you all down here now!” Thomas said forcefully.

Everyone popped up and looked at each other as no one knew what was going on.

“Does anyone care to explain?” Thomas asked.

“Care to explain what kiddo?” Patton asked still putting on his fake smile.

“What is up with you guys lately?!?” Thomas let out. “I’ve been angry, confused, devastated and nervous for most of this week!! What is going on?”

Each side looked down as to not look at Thomas.

“So there is something? Ok, Logan would you care to explain?”

Even Logan had been avoiding telling Thomas what’s been going on, due to the sensitive nature of the matter.

“Wow, not even my Logic huh? How about you Virgil?”

Silence.

“Patton?!”

More silence.

“Roman, buddy, you’re the gossiper of them all! What is going on?”

“FINALLY!! I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest! Alright so-” Roman stopped for a moment as Virgil, Logan and Patton all gave him death glares.

“Come on guys, please? I’m not sure I can take this much longer!!”

Logan and Virgil continued to glare at him. Roman turned to face Patton.

“Patton?” Roman asked sounding desperate.

“Please wait. I gave you a week, and the weeks not over.” Patton replied quietly, eyes seeming to beg.

“Gah!! Well I suppose this is what I get for being popular enough to have people tell me their secrets! I guess that’s a burden I must bare.” Roman said dramatically.

“Jesus man.” Virgil muttered.

“I’m sorry Virgil would you like me to announce the secret? Because I can.”

“Okay hold up!!” Thomas intervened. “So no one is willing to tell me what’s going on?”

“Sorry, Thomas. Not yet.” Virgil responded.

“Well whatever is going on with you four, I need you all to sort it out now.” Thomas said folding his arms waiting.

There was a pause. “Wait you mean _Now_ , now?” Virgil asked surprised.

“YES. I could even moderate if you want!”

“ **NO!** ” The four sides panicked collectively.

“Okay fine!! But I need you all to figure this out either way! I can’t focus on anything because my mind is everywhere!” Thomas said frustratedly. “I’m going to my room to watch The Office. When I come back I expect at least one of you to give an explanation, and what your doing to resolve what’s been going on. Deal?”

The sides stayed quiet trying to process this.

“DEAL?”

“Alright kiddo. No need to shout. We’ll get it taken care of.” Patton said calmly.

“Really?” Thomas and Virgil said, simultaneously surprised.

“Yes. I didn’t consider how much this would have an effect on Thomas. I don’t like seeing my kiddo in pain, so I will handle it.” Patton decided.

Roman sighed in relief as Virgil tensed up at the scenario. Logan on the other hand was more confused than ever.

“Alright then. I’ll be back soon, but first I’m going to make some popcorn.”

“See you in a bit kiddo!” Patton said as Thomas walked out of the room.

“You sure you want to do this Dad?” Virgil asked nervously. “Do you want me to stay?”

Patton smiled sadly. “It’ll be fine Virgil. I’ll talk to you when I’m done.”

“Would you like me to stay in case violence becomes involved?” Roman said swinging up his samurai sword.

Patton chuckled. “You know, I can’t see that happening, but I’ll call you if I need to.”

Roman nodded his head and sunk out as Virgil did the same, but with much more concern on his face. Logan began to leave before Patton softly stops him.

“Logan? Do you mind if we have a chat?”

Logan stood back up and immediately felt his back pocket to check for index cards. He was relieved when he felt a couple back there.

“That’d be alright Patton. What would you like to talk about?”

Patton took a deep breath. “I-” He began to panic. “WaIT! Virgil, Roman can you come back please?”

The two rose up almost instantly.

“Are you alright Patton?” Virgil asked.

“What the **_fuck_** did you do?!?” Roman shouted withdrawing his sword at Logan.

Logan took a step back holding his hands away from his body. “I-I haven’t done anything. Patton informed me he wanted to talk, then called you both back here right away!”

“Oh.” Virgil spoke, as Roman slowly holstered his sword. “I have an idea. Thomas gave us a little bit of time right? Why don’t I talk with Patton and Roman talk to Logan, before all of us get together and hash this out. Sound good?

“I suppose.” Logan said as he still wasn’t quite sure what was going on.

“Oh and Roman? You can’t say anything about our conversation.” Virgil said gesturing to Patton, Roman and himself. “It’s not your story to tell. I need you to listen and respond without giving away any secrets ok?”

“A challenge!! I can manage that!” Roman said optimistically. As he received strange looks from Patton and Virgil he responded. “What? I’m a Prince after all! I enjoy quests and challenges.”

“Well, whatever. You know the rules. I’ll pop in when we’re done to let you know when Patton is ready to talk.”

Roman nodded his head in agreement as Logan just stared at Patton confused.

“We’ll be back!” Virgil said as he and Patton sunk down and into Patton’s room.

The minute they arrived Patton began shaking.

“Virgil, I’m so, so sorry!!”

“For what?” Virgil asked surprised at Patton’s reaction.

“For not being strong enough!” Patton began as tears started running down his face. “I am supposed to be the Father! I shouldn’t be putting you in a position where you need to comfort me when I’m weak and pathetic!”

Virgil took a step back.

“Patton.” He said seriously. “Look at me.”

Patton looked at Virgil, tears streaming down his face.

Virgil took two steps forward and took Patton’s face in his hands as to make sure his point got across. “I **NEVER** want to hear you say you are weak and pathetic again. That’s my job.”

Patton chuckled at this but was still distressed. “But I really do feel that way right now! I can't hold myself together long enough to have a conversation with Logan about the truth. It's simply pathetic.”

Virgil then did something that surprised Patton. He hugged him - without any prompt to. And he held that hug.

Patton began to cry loudly as he held onto the boy. “I-it just HURTS _so bad_!! Am I really that repulsive?! That the idea of being with me romantically or physically is sickening? I want to pretend it doesn’t bother me, but it _really, really_ does!”

Virgil’s heart felt like it was collapsing in on itself. Yes, he’s seen Patton upset and crying before, but this was on a whole other level! Even when Depression was here he knew Patton would get upset and cry constantly, but he would normally keep that to himself away from the other sides. He’s never seen him this open about the emotional pain he was feeling.

Patton continued to cry mumbling words like “hurt”, “sorry”, “stupid”, and “can’t”. And unfortunately as much as Virgil wanted to continue to hold onto Patton and protect him, he himself was getting to his limit of physical contact. While yes he does occasionally like snuggling and hugs, he had already stepped out of his comfort zone by offering a longer hug and didn’t realize it would last this long. Because of this he began to take in shallow rapid breaths. Patton, even in his moment of utter distress, noticed this and backed out of the hug.

“I’m so sorry Virgil.” Patton said sniffling. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

As Virgil began to use his breathing exercises to calm down, he let out a breathy laugh at that statement. “Patton, how can you say all of those things about yourself when you’re the kindest one of all of us? You have been holding onto these emotions for almost a week now, and despite feeling the way you do, you took time to check to see if I was ok!”

“Because… I love you. I don’t want any harm to come your way, even if that harm is from yourself.” Patton said softly still crying.

Virgil pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands. “Well, what if I pretended to be Logan and-”

“Virgil?” Patton questioned looking at him seriously.

He shifted around still feeling uncomfortable.

“Virgil.” Patton whispered horrifically, looking at his hoodie.

 _Shit. Does he know?_ Virgil thought to himself. _No one else has figured it out yet. Not that I want them to._

Patton wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked like he was a man on a mission. “I am going to go downstairs and have this conversation with Logan and get it over with. Then you and I need to have a conversation.” He said seriously. “I love you too much to pretend I didn’t see that. But you’re not in trouble, don’t worry. I’ll be back. I love you.”

Patton sunk out quickly which left Virgil standing still in Patton's room.

When Patton rose up in the living room he saw Logan’s face red with anger and confusion and Roman pacing back and forth looking extremely aggravated.

“I WANT TO TELL YOU LOGAN BUT I CAN'T! I GAVE MY OATH TO VIRGIL AND PATTON!” Roman said angrily.

“Well-” Logan began stopping as he saw Patton. Roman turned to look at what Logan was staring at and let out a breath of relief.

“Wait, where’s Virgil?” Roman said confused.

“He's in my room - please go make sure he's breathing regularly. I’ll talk to Logan and be up soon.”

Roman gave him a worried look as he nodded and sunk out to Patton’s Room.

Patton looked at Logan seriously and began to speak. “Alright Logan-” he stopped as Logan cut him off.

“Will you _please_ tell me what’s going on?!?” Logan said frantically. “I don’t understand what is happening!!”

Patton looked at Logan and his heart began to break all over again.

_Stop. You can’t break down right now. Think about Virgil. Virgil, Virgil, **Virgil**._

“Alright Logan I will. But this has been a very difficult week for me so I’m just going to get it off my chest. Are you ready?”

“ _Please_!” Logan exclaimed.

Patton took in a deep breath. “Did you truly mean what you said that day? That the idea of participating in adultery made you physically ill?”

“Is that what this has been about? Why Roman and Virgil have been angry with me? The way you responded I didn’t think you cared for me.”

“Please Logan, can you just answer the question?”

 _Finally._ Logan thought. _I can redeem myself._

He paused for a moment to gain his courage.

“Yes.”

_**What?! I said NO!** _

“ _Yes. YES._”

_**I’m saying no! What is going on?!** _

Patton looked down at the floor, pushing his emotions down deep at the moment. _I’ll deal with those later. Now is not the time._

“Have you ever felt anything for me? Or have I just been pretending? I thought we had something even though I know you dislike emotions.”

_**I do have feelings for you!** _

“I’ve never had feelings for you.”

_**You aren’t imagining anything!** _

“It has all been in your head.”

_**I want to try this out despite my nervousness with emotions. I love you, so I’ll figure it out!** _

“I could never be in a relationship with you. Your emotions disgust me. They are the worst part about you.”

Patton had lost his battle of holding it together when he heard Logan’s words brutally destroying his heart. He could hardly see with all the tears flowing from his face. But blurry Logan was shaking his head no vigorously despite what he was saying. He held up a finger to get Patton to wait.

 _Why can’t I say what I mean?!! I have to try something else!_  
  
He grabbed an index card from his back pocket and wrote in big shakey letters ‘I LOVE YOU!’

When he showed the card to Patton he read it out loud. “You _hate_ me? You needed to write that down?!?”

Patton was just devastated. It was bad enough Logan didn’t return his feelings, but finding out he was disgusted by him?! That he hated him?! This was truly the worst day of his life.

Patton began to sink down when Logan acted out of pure desperation. He ran over and grabbed Patton’s hand to pull him back up.

“Let me go Logan.” Patton said upset.

_My words aren’t working! My writings not working! I can’t let him leave again thinking those things!!!_

“ ** _FUCK_**!!” Logan yelled panickedly, before going against every fiber of his being, and planting a kiss on Patton.

Patton froze for a moment as tears continued to run down his face. He looked directly into Logan’s eyes as Logan’s lips kept still on Patton’s. The moment Patton took a breath recognizing what was happening, Logan took Patton’s head in his hands and deepened the kiss.

Patton’s eyes fluttered shut, savoring the taste of Logan’s lips, as he assumed it would be the only chance he’d ever have to feel them.

Logan gently pulled away hearing a quiet protest from Patton, and tried to catch his breath as Patton tried to catch his.

Logan looked at Patton with as much emotion as he possibly could muster, before a wave of realization hit him.

“ _ **Deceit.**_ ”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning this chapter does cover a conversation and memories of self-harm. As someone whose personally partaken in this before, I would urge those of you who are dealing with that right now to please seek help. While it may not feel like things will get better at the moment, or it’s not a big deal, I’d ask you please to reconsider and tell someone who you trust. 
> 
> I’m also aware Patton will seem a little out of character, but I hope it makes sense as to why. 
> 
> On a lighter note I hope you all enjoy Deciets pain, and let me know what you think of the chapter! I’m not sure if it’s as strong as it could be, but I’m happy with it as of now.

“Okay.” Patton whispered wiping the tears from his eyes, fingers ghosting over his lips to see if what happened was real. “I mean, what?”

“ ** _DECEIT_**!!.” Logan shouted loudly. “ **Get your Slimy Snake face down here!!** ”

Deceit rose up with a smirk on his face. “You called? I - GAHHHH!!!”

Within a blink of an eye, Logan had ran and tackled Deceit to the floor.

“Logan!!” Patton shouted in surprise.

“Get off of me you creatin!!” Deceit growled.

“ **NEVER**!!” Logan yelled as he raised his fist and struck it down smack dab in the middle of Deceit’s face.

“Holy shit. Roman!! Virgil!! Help!!”

Roman and Virgil rose up together confused.

“What’s going on Patton? We’re kinda in the midd-“

They turned to see Logan just punching the daylights out of Deceit.

“WOAH!! Break it up, Break it up!!” Roman said jogging over to get Logan off of Deceit.

“THIS.” (Punch) “BASTARD.” (Punch) “MADE.” (Punch) “ME.” (Punch) “HURT.” (Punch) “PATTON!!!!!”

“Oh.” Roman stopped. “Well then, by all means, continue.”

“ROMAN!” Patton yelled exasperated.

“Okay, okay.” Roman conceded grabbing Logan by the middle and pulling him off of Deceit.

“LET ME GO!” Logan yelled trying to break free of Romans arms. “I'M NOT FINISHED!”

Deceit scrambled up off of the floor, with a new black eye, bloody nose, and busted lip.

“What the hell man?” Deceit asked breaking his usual persona, and spitting out blood on the floor.

“IT WAS YOU!! YOU FORCED ME TO LIE TO PATTON AND IT MADE HIM CRY!” Logan yelled angrily.

“I’m not sure what you mean. I can’t do that.” Deceit said fixing his bowler hat, persona back in tact.

“ **FALSEHOOD**!!!”

Patton side-eyed Virgil & Roman. “Can he?”

“Well, seeing as how he can shape-shift and keep us from saying things, it’s not that difficult to believe.” Virgil answered.

Patton breathed out a sigh of relief. Oh thank god. Logan didn’t actually mean those things.

“Stop _LYING_! Why would you make me hurt Patton?” Logan asked fiercely.

“Simple. For fun.” Deceit admitted.

Logan’s body was visibly shaking in anger, and he was breathing heavily. He shared a look at Roman, and an understanding was known between the two. They both raised a fist and punched Deceit on each side of his face, causing him to stumble back quite a few steps.

“Woah” Virgil said quietly. “That was...”

“Hot.” Patton finished.

The two quickly looked at each other and cleared their throats before looking back at the scene in front of them.

“Okay, are we done with this?” Patton asked worriedly. “Because as much as I appreciate you two defending my honor, I think we should let him go. I believe he’s learned his lesson.”

Logan cleared his throat and fixed his tie, breathing slower. “Yes I believe so. This was surprisingly therapeutic.”

Roman and Logan walked towards Patton and Virgil, and the four began to walk away side by side.

“Glad your all done. Now get that little emo piece of trash out of my sight. He was a horrible dark side, and I’m sure he’ll only disappoint you too.”

Virgil flinched for a moment and then the four turned around hearing Patton’s voice laced with an indescribable fury, “What the **_FUCK_** did you just say about my son?” Patton spat out.

“I said, he’s-” Deceit would never have a chance to finish his sentence. Once the four heard him speak again Roman lifted his sword up in battle position to defend Virgil’s honor, but before he could take a step Patton lunged at Deceit successfully taking him to the ground.

As the others knew Patton would break one of these days if someone were to upset or seriously insult Virgil, they didn’t expect it to be as, um, severe as it was.

Patton was wailing on Deciets face, stomach, sides, legs - anything he could get to.

“I think that’s enough Patton.” Logan said hearing Deceit beginning to wheeze.

Patton stayed quiet ignoring what Logan said, when everyone heard the loud crack of ribs being broken and Deceit crying out in pain.

Logan looked worriedly to Roman and ran over to take Patton off of Deceit, getting an elbow to the stomach in the process.

“Shit! Roman help!” Logan shouted.

Roman ran over and the two of them used all of their energy, to pry Patton off of Deceit.

“How is he so strong?!” Roman asked to no one in particular.

Patton stood over Deceit’s twitching body. “I swear on my life. If you ever come near this family again. **I. WILL. END. YOU.** ” Patton threatened, his body shaking in rage.

Patton walked towards Virgil not even looking at him, his face was so full of anger.

“I think Patton broke some ribs!” Roman whispered to Logan. “I mean I hate the guy, but I think he needs some medical attention.”

“AAAAARGHHHHH!” Patton shouted in anger, punching the wall nearest to him successfully making a dent.

“What?!” Logan asked.

“Sometimes I seriously HATE being the moral side of Thomas.” Patton said before sighing. “But yes, unfortunately you are right Roman. As much as I’d love to see him wither away and die in front of my eyes at this moment, I morally can’t allow that. Logan, I assume you know how to mend broken bones?”

Logan stood in shock. “Well you can't actually mend bones - they have to heal on their own. But I will need to give him an X-ray to see the severity of the breakage. Unfortunately, I don’t have any of my equipment with me.”

With a snap of Patton’s fingers the room turned into a hospital with all the supplies Logan might need. “Will this suffice?”

“Yes it will. H-how did you do that by the way?”

“Well you know how clumsy I am! I’ve been conjuring up hospital rooms for years now!!” Patton said calmly, breathing at a more steady rate. “And Logan?”

“Yes Patton?”

“Please remember...” Patton sighed with defeat. “.. that you shouldn’t let your anger with Deceit cloud the fact that he is indeed part of Thomas. He needs the best medical attention that everyone in this room deserves.”

Logan nodded in agreement despite still feeling angry with him.

“And...Thank you for defending me. We’ll have to talk about what happened before you called Deceit down, but there’s no need to worry. I, um, I enjoyed it.” Patton said blushing.

Logan could have camouflaged as a fire hydrant he was so embarrassed, but he nodded.

“Wait, what happened before Deceit came down?” Roman asked excitedly. “What Happened?!”

Patton chuckled. “I’ll tell you later Roman after Logan and I speak.”

“I hate to interrupt but could everyone but one of you leave? I need silence to concentrate, and a nurse to help me out in case of an emergency.” Logan mentioned.

“Well I‘d help but I’m not in the best mental state right now.” Patton admitted. “Roman?”

“I can handle dragon witches and beasts! Buuut I get a little grossed out when it comes to doctor stuff. Virgil?”

“Yeah I suppose I can. There’s not going to be an emergency though right?” Virgil asked nervously.

“I’m 98% sure of that.” Logan answered.

“But there's still a 2% chance there might be?!” Virgil worried. He took a deep breath. “Ok, I can help then. I trust you enough.”

“Roman, why don’t you and I go somewhere while Logan and Virgil help Deceit.”

Roman and Patton sunk out back into Patton’s room, when -

“Ok first off that was so fucking badass, second you HAVE to tell me wha- Patton are you crying?!” Roman asked bewildered.

Patton sighed and giggled at the comment. “Yes I am. My emotions went from despair to ecstatic to fear and then to rage in a matter of minutes. That tends to have a physical effect on people.”

“Ok….So TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!!!” Roman said jumping up and down excitedly.

“Tell you what Roman?” Patton asked smirking, wiping away the last of his tears.

“Tell me what happened!?!?!”

“What happened when?”

“Before Deceit rose up!”

“What about it?”

“Oh my God. Patton I enjoy your dad jokes but your going to drive me wild!!” Roman said exasperated.

“Sorry, Roman… I can't drive you - I don’t have a car!” Patton said bursting into laughter.

Roman smiled, happy to see Patton back to his usual self, with his eyes filled with joy instead of sorrow.

After Patton’s laughter died down he began to relax. “Okay, I am really excited about this so I’ll tell you! Lo-”

Patton was cut off when he, Roman, Virgil, and Logan were all called back to the living room by Thomas.

“Alright guys, I’m on an Office roll so I just wanted to get this out of the way, so - WOAH IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!” Thomas screeched looking at Patton.

Patton looked down to see his knuckles were bleeding and bruised from punching Deceit.

“Huh. Well would you look at that kiddo, I hadn’t even noticed!”

Logan rolled his eyes.

“Such an astute observation Thomas. That is indeed blood. Not Crofters raspberry jam.”

“Oh ok.” Thomas reacted. “But whY Do YOU HAVE BLOOD ON YOU?”

“We may have gotten in a little ruffle with Deceit.” Roman spoke up.

“Well is he ok?!”

“I don’t know kiddo. How’s the X-Ray going Logan?” Patton asked.

“X-RAY?!” Thomas yelped.

“Well it’s all over, he will make a full recovery. Just some bruises and sore ribs for a couple of weeks. I’ve prescribed him some pain medication to help ease his pain.”

“Well that was unrealistically fast. Darn.” Patton muttered.

Finally Thomas put two and two together.

“PATTON YOU PUNCHED DECEIT?!?”

“WELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER INSULTED MY SON!!” Patton retaliated loudly.

Thomas took a couple steps back, shocked to hear those words come out of his moral side.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Patton insisted. “What I meant to say was that motherfucker insulted my son Virgil. Not Roman.”

“Wait if I’m your son too..wouldn’t that... like.. make us …” Roman said leaving the question open ended, while gesturing to Virgil and himself.

“Oh well shucks kiddo, you know I see you all as my sons. But would ‘Son-in-law’ make you feel better?”

Roman cleared his throat. “Well yes, actually that does make me feel a bit better.”

“But wait, wouldn’t that mean that you’d be marr-” Logan tried to point out before being cut off.

“Patton you don’t see Logan as your son do you?” Virgil asked.

“Well no, Logan’s different.” Patton blushed.

“Not that he’d mind calling you Daddy..” Roman murmured loudly enough for the sides to hear.

“SERIOUSLY, man!” Virgil groaned.  
“ROMAN!!!” Logan said fiercely, strong blush appearing on his face.

“....I don’t understand….” Patton said confused.

“Oh, I’m sure Logan would be happy to explain it to you.” Roman said mischievously.

“Oh! Alright then!” Patton said cheerfully.

Logan looked like he could wither away and die from pure embarrassment alone.

“Okay are you done? Are you done here? (Black Panther)” Thomas interrupted the sides.

“Yes I believe we are, the issue has been resolved.” Logan informed Thomas.

“Okay, was beating up Deceit part of that resolution? Because if it was, I have many concerns.”

“No kiddo, the resolution didn’t involve hurting Deceit. That was just a happy side effect.” Patton said.

“Patton what is with you today?!” Thomas asked.

“Listen, I just got a lot of feelings and I don’t like it when my family gets insulted.” Patton said emotionally.

“Alright, alright. Last question. Is that like...real blood? From my brain?”

“I-” Logan stopped. “I don’t believe so. But I may have to do some research on it.”

“Well in that case, can we just agree to not beat anyone else up until we figure that out?” Thomas said exasperatedly.

“Sounds like a deal kiddo.” Patton said with his signature smile, as he sunk out while the other three followed him back into his room.

Thomas was left standing alone in his living room beginning to become extremely concerned before,

“Oh, yeah! The Office!”

———————-

As everyone rose up in Patton’s room, Roman immediately pounced on Patton.

“OK, Logan’s here now can you tell me what happened?!” Roman asked excitedly.

Logan and Patton shared a quick look and both immediately looked away with a full blush on their face.

“OH MY FLIPPING GOD!” Roman began. “DID YOU TWO KI-”

“Virgil.” Patton interrupted as he saw Virgil trying to quietly sneak out of his room.

Virgil froze and slowly turned back to Patton.

“I haven’t forgotten Virgil. We need to talk.”

Logan and Roman both felt the air shift around them from excitement to unsteadiness.

“We don’t need to talk about anything.” Virgil said quietly.

Patton turned to Roman. “Roman I promise I will tell you all about what happened earlier later today, but I need to have a conversation with my son.”

Roman turned to look at Virgil confused. “Virgil?” He asked softly.

When Virgil didn’t respond and instead turned away from Roman, he understood the severity of the problem. “Very well Patton, I will talk to you soon.” Roman said somberly. “And Virgil, I’m always here to talk - about whatever you may need to talk about.”

As he received a curt nod from Virgil, Roman left Patton’s room and went to his own.

“Logan while I would very much enjoy talking with you at the moment, I need to speak with Virgil alone.”

Before Logan could answer Virgil interjected. “Patton it’s not a big deal. I’m not sure you know what your talking about, but whatever you think I did, I probably didn’t do!”

“Virgil are you sure you want to do this in front of Logan?”

“Do WHAT Patton?” Virgil snapped.

Patton stood quiet for a moment before speaking. “Very well. If I don’t have anything to worry about, I’d like you to please remove your hoodie for some proof.”

Virgil froze. “I-I’d rather not.” He said hesitantly.

“Virgil.” Patton said quietly walking towards him. “I want you to answer me in complete honesty.” Patton took a breath. “Are you currently self-harming?”

Virgil stayed quiet - which in turn spoke volumes.

“Virgil.” Patton said choked up.

“Patton - it’s not a big deal!!” Virgil tried to stress.

“Please. Virgil. Please…show them to me.”

“I-I” Virgil’s eyes began to tear up.

“ _Please_.”

Virgil looked back and forth into Patton’s eyes and while he knew the answer, he had to ask just to be sure.

“No judgment?” Virgil whispered nervously.

“ _Never_.” Patton whispered fiercely back.

Virgil unzipped his hoodie and began to take it off when he realized Logan was still in the room. When he froze, Patton followed his eyesight.

“Oh.” Patton said quietly. “Logan would you be willing to leave us? This is very personal to Virgil, and I believe he is uncomfortable with you being here at the moment.”

“Actually Patton, do you mind if I speak with Virgil alone?” he said surprising both Virgil and Patton.

  
Before Patton could answer Virgil interrupted. “Logan, I’d prefer if he stay.”

“Do I - Do I make you that uncomfortable Virgil?” Logan asked confused.

“No! Not at all! It’s just...Dad kinda makes me feel safe and calm. Right now I really need that.”

Logan hesitated. “Very well. I suppose if things go well between the two of us, Patton would find out later anyway. But Patton, I need you to wait to speak with me about this until we’re alone. We’re here for Virgil right now.”

Patton nodded his head not really knowing where this was going.

Logan took a deep breath. “Virgil, I understand.”

“I-” Virgil sighed dejectedly. “I really don’t think you do Logan.”

Logan hesitated again before saying “Very well.”, and began unbuckling his belt.

“WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!”  
“What...in the **hell** are you doing Logan?!?”

“I’m providing an important example that may help Virgil.” He said plainly, looking at the two of them as he continued to take his pants off.

Patton tried to avoid looking at Logan and instead seemed to take an interest in the ceiling.

“Take a look Virgil.” Logan said gesturing to his lower half.

Virgil gave Patton a look and was given a nod that meant it was ok to do so. Logan really is just trying to help in his own weird way.

Virgil began to look. “Are those...”

Patton gasped as his curiosity got the best of him, and he could no longer stare at the ceiling. Logan was covered in healed white lines small, large, short, and long on both of his thighs.

“They are indeed. Scars from when I personally partook in the same self-harming coping mechanism you’re using now.” Logan said as he began to put his pants back on.

Logan looked at the two of them seeing Patton’s eyes brimming with tears, and Virgil’s face filled with curiosity.

“Really? But why?”

“When Thomas was younger I had a difficult time accepting who I truly was. I looked at Roman, Patton, and you and became upset that I couldn’t seem to feel emotions the same way you did. So, I began to cut myself because I wanted to feel _something_. And physically I could do that. It provided me with a sense of comfort. And actually it wasn’t until…” Logan stopped in thought, then slowly turned to Patton. “It wasn’t until speaking with Patton that I realized there was no need to continue.”

Patton gasped quietly at this new information.

“I believe he could tell something was off with me. I’m still not sure how, to be honest. But one day, after dinner, he came up to me privately and quoted the children’s television program Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, of all things. ‘You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you and -”

“- I like you just the way you are.” Patton finished quietly.

Logan smiled fondly. “Starting that day, he would do this every single day for… I want to say three months or so? The first week or two of him doing this really got under my skin to be honest. I couldn’t see what he was talking about. I thought It was because I was too different that made me want to continue with my self-harm. But after day, after day, _after day_ , _after day , **after day**_ , of him telling me this...it began to sink in. It was _ok_ that I was different. It was _ok_ that I didn’t feel as the others did. It was just a part of who I was. It wasn’t incorrect, and it wasn’t faulty. Now of course, I would be telling a falsehood if I said I only got better with Patton’s words alone. It took a lot of mental effort on my part, and help from a rather unorthodox therapist for me to come to a point where I was alright. But thanks to Patton, I came to finally realize that apparently, ” Logan’s eyes began to water. “...He liked me just the way I was.”

Logan turned to look back at Virgil to see that his eyes were welling up with tears as well.

Virgil took a deep breath. “Okay.” He said. He slowly and very hesitantly took off his hoodie to show the scars on his both of his arms. Some were barely visible, while others were bright red and just barely scabbed over.

Logan walked over to Virgil who was staring at the floor in embarrassment and shame.

“Virgil.” Logan said quietly. “I may not feel emotions the same way many of you do. But at this moment I can tell you for an undeniable fact, that I am feeling _pride_. I am extremely proud of you for letting yourself be vulnerable with us today and for listening to me. It will be extremely difficult to stop this, and you will likely relapse as I did too. That doesn’t mean you won’t make improvements. It just means that some days are harder to bear than others.” Logan paused. “Virgil. Are you willing to let us help you through this?”

Virgil looked up at Logan and Patton, tears streaming down his face. “Yes.” He said quietly. “Please.”

“Very well. Patton?” Logan asked. “Would you like to say it with me?”

Patton nodded and stood next to Logan, both looking directly into Virgil’s eyes when they began speaking.

“Virgil.” Logan started, slipping his hand into Patton's as the two began to recite the quote.

“‘You’ve made this day a _special_ day, by just _your_ being _you_. There’s _no person_ in the _whole world_ like you and _I like you just the way you are._ ’”

Virgil bursted into full-on sobs after the two finished talking and walked over to hug both Patton and Logan at once. While Patton wasn’t surprised at all, it did surprise Logan for a moment. After that moment passed, he relaxed and let the group hug continue for as long as Virgil needed it to.

After a bit when Virgil began to slow down his tears and feel calm, he backed out of the hug. “Thank you.” He said looking between the two of them. “Both of you.”

“I love you Virgil.” Patton said softly.

“As do I.” Logan added.

The room was quiet with the last of Virgil’s sniffles before he stopped and seemed to realize something.

“Okay, wait.” Virgil said looking curiously at Logan. “Can I ask one question?”

“Of course.” Logan said smiling. “Anything.”

Virgil paused before letting a huge grin appear on his face.“Did you seriously imply earlier that you might sleep with Patton?”

Logan’s jaw dropped, as his face and neck grew bright red. “Wha-I-sai-no-I-SCIENCE!” He sputtered out, bolting out of Patton’s room.

“You can’t keep avoiding me with science Logan!!” Patton called out laughing.

“KNOWLEDGE, PATTON!! KNOWLEDGE!” He yelled back, sprinting into his own room.

Virgil and Patton looked at each other and shared a laugh as Virgil put back on his hoodie.

“I love you Virgil.” Patton said pressing a small kiss on the top of Virgil’s head.

Virgil closed his eyes. “I love you too Dad.”


	11. Chapter 11

The minute Roman went to his room he walked in, paused for a moment, and then immediately went back to Patton’s door and began pacing.

_What could they be talking about? What is so important? ...just one second Roman, just listen for one second._

Roman scowled at the thought but inevitably went up to Patton’s door and pressed his ear against it. He heard Logan say the words “Mr. Rogers neighborhood”, and took a step back.

_What in the ever loving fuck are they talking about? Why is that Tv show so important?!_

He paced around a couple more times before convincing himself to listen again.

_Virgil will never know...just one more second._

He went back to Patton’s door and listened again feeling less guilty this time. He heard Logan and Patton speak together, then pause, and then he heard Virgil burst into sobs.

_What the shit! What is so important that Virgil was afraid to tell me? Maybe Deceit really got to him.._

Roman was about to listen one last time when the door was burst open by Logan who was running towards his room. Roman looked bewildered in the door when he saw Patton give Virgil a kiss on the head.

 _Aww…that’s cute. ...But why can’t i give the kisses?_ He pouted to himself.

Roman saw Virgil open his eyes, tense up, and turn white as a sheet the minute he saw Roman in the hallway.

Patton could feel the tension radiate from Virgil and was about to seriously berate Roman, when Roman chimed in first.

“Okay, okay, I know what it looks like - but it’s not what it looks like.” Roman said panickedly.

“It looks like you were listening in on a private conversation.” Patton said scolding Roman.

“Yes. It _looks_ that way. But that’s not how it is!” Roman insisted. “I was worried so I just paced out here in the hallway!!” He skillfully lied.

“You promise?” Virgil asked softly.

Roman felt his stomach turn as he didn’t hear what the conversation was about, but he did listen in.

“I promise.”

Virgil breathed out a sigh of relief and immediately relaxed, which made Roman feel even more guilty.

“Thanks Dad - for everything.” Virgil said giving Patton a small peck on the cheek as a thank you.

Patton beamed at the gesture with pride.

Roman began to get impatient at the scene, not because he was upset, but because he was so interested in what Virgil and Patton had talked about.

Patton whispered in Virgil’s ear. “I think your ‘not-quite-yet-boyfriend’ wants to talk to you.”

Virgil laughed and lightly punched Patton’s arm with a blush.

“AGH! I’ve been hit!!” Patton teased playfully. “Logan! Come tend to my wounds!!” He joked running down the hall to Logan’s room.

Virgil snorted at his Dads goofiness and turned to face Roman. “So I assume you want to know what we talked about?”

“I mean only if you want to..” Roman tried to say as casually as possible.

“Oh good! Because I don’t.” Virgil dead-panned.

Roman sputtered. “Wha- Why not? Why am I the only one in the group that doesn’t get to know?”

Virgil sighed. “Listen Roman, we’ve only recently gotten on good terms. Patton and Logan have known me a bit better and honestly I didn’t want Logan to know either. Things just happened that way.”

“Yes, but I’ve been trying to be better!” Roman stressed.

“I know Roman,” Virgil said. “and I really do appreciate it! I’ve noticed the difference. But I’m still not to a point where I can tell you yet. I’m sorry.”

“Fine.” Roman pouted.

“Come on,” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Why don’t we watch a Disney movie?”

Virgil saw Romans eyes light up with excitement and then saw him try to play it cool.

“Sure, sure...whatever sounds good..”

“Hey,” Virgil stopped. “Why don't we make it a party?” He wasn’t really one to make plans that involved like, actual people, but he wanted Roman to feel involved and didn’t necessarily wanted to be bugged by him alone.

“That sounds like a GRAND idea!” Roman said excitedly. “We could have pizza, popcorn, soda, (a couple grown up drinks), and more!!”

Roman continued to ramble on about his extravagant party plans when Virgil volunteered to get Patton and Logan.

As Virgil walked up to Logan’s door he could hear loud voices coming through.

“Patton, there is NO sign of ANY bruising on your arm! Why do you insist on getting my medical expertise when in reality, you simply have a quote, ‘Ouchie’, unquote?”

“Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?” Patton said innocently.

 _Ugh. Sounds like the beginning of a bad porno._ Virgil thought to himself. _WAIT. GROSS! THAT'S PATTON!!_ He shuddered before quickly knocking on the door in order to avoid any more thoughts.

“Oh! Hello again, Virgil.” Logan said opening the door with a slight blush on his face. “How may I accommodate you?”

“Roman and I thought it would be fun to have a Disney movie party.” He said nervously. “Do you two want to join or something?”

“DO I EVER!!” Patton shouted sitting on Logan’s bed, causing Logan to jump for a moment. “THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!”

Logan turned to face Patton. “Patton! Volume please!”

Patton smiled at Virgil and whispered “ _AMAZING_!!” adding jazz hands as a side effect.

“How about you Logan?” Virgil asked.

“Well, while I appreciate the thought, I do need to research whether or not our physical injuries affect Thomas in any form. So I will be declining.”

“WHAT?!” Patton shouted. “That’s crazy!! Of course you should join us!”

“Patton there is work to be done!”

“It can be done later! Anyway, if there are no plans to physically harm anyone tonight, isn’t the research ok to postpone?”

Logan drew a blank face. “I suppose you make a valid argument, Patton. Alright. I will join you.”

Patton stood up and squealed in joy. “I’m going to get my Onesie pajamas! You should too Logan!!”

“I don’t see how Onesie Pajamas correlate with watching a Disney movie.” Logan stiffened.

“It’s a party, which correlates with relaxation. Onesie pajamas are comfortable and in turn help us relax!” Patton pointed out factually.

“I see…” Logan lingered.

“PLUS THEY’RE ADORABLE!! C’mon Logan...won’t you be my PJ buddy?” Patton said sweetly.

Logan lost his battle of will, as he looked at Patton’s pleading face. “Very well.” He agreed.

Patton squealed once more and ran to his room to get his pajamas.

Logan smiled fondly at Patton running down the hall, when he turned to face a smirking Virgil.

“Onesie Pajamas?” Virgil snickered.

“Yes actually. They are quite comfortable.” Logan defended with a blush. “When is the party happening?”

“At this very moment!” Roman declared happily, placing his hand on Virgil’s shoulder which caused Virgil to stiffen.

“The pizza is on its way, the popcorns ready to pop, and the movies are all lined up in the family room! Let’s do this!”

“Very well. Let me put on my pajamas and I’ll be out soon.” Logan said calmly.

“Wonderful!” Roman said “Let’s go decide on the movies Virgil!”

Roman took his hand off Virgil and gestured for them to walk together.

“So which one of my darling babies do you want to watch?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Black Cauldron. Obviously -it’s my favorite.”

“Ah yes, but think of all the other magical movies that we can see!! Cinderella, Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White…” Roman interjected.

“Yeah, but all those movies are mushy. Black Cauldron’s the best. ...Geeze, I didn’t say they were bad Princey!” Virgil said seeing Romans face. “I just mean they’re more, uh, classic.”

“Well what’s wrong with classic?!” Roman defended. “A hero saving a princess is always a wonderful thing to see!”

“Well in that case, let's watch Shrek.” Virgil smirked.

“Ooh did Someone say Shrek?” Patton interrupted walking out of his room in his cat onesie. “I love that movie!!! That donkey is hilarious.”

“Patton-”

“Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!” Patton began chanting.

“BUT IT’S NOT EVEN DISNEY!!”

Virgil joined in with Patton’s chanting. “ **SHREK! SHREK! SHREK!** ”

Roman turned to Logan who just walked out of his room in his Unicorn Onesie. “Would you please talk some sense into them?!”

“Unfortunately Roman I cannot, as I also enjoy that movie and would like to watch it this evening.”

“How on earth do you like that movie?!” Roman asked befuddled.

“While yes, it is a bit out there with talking mice, donkeys, and unrealistic ogres, it does provide a more realistic message. That you should be happy with the body you’ve been given, as someone will see you beautiful just as you are.” Logan explained.

“That’s a really great message don’t you think guys?” Patton asked sincerely looking at Virgil and Logan.

The two both blushed. “Well clearly I believe so as I just stated that.” Logan pointed out. “My apologies Roman, but it’s 3 against 1. Shrek is the movie that’s been voted on.”

“Well I don’t even have that movie.” Roman pouted.

“I DO!” Patton and Virgil said simultaneously, proceeding to give each other finger guns.

“I’ll go get mine.” Virgil said as he walked to his room.

“You look very comfortable Logan.” Patton teasingly pointed out.

“Well as a matter of fact, I am feeling quite comfortable and relaxed at the moment. This was a good suggestion Patton.”

Patton blushed.

“GOT IT!” Virgil called walking out of his room. “Lets pop this sucker in!” He said enthusiastically.

“When did he get a sucker?” Logan asked Patton leaning into his ear.

“Oh! It’s just an ex-” Patton turned to face Logan while his face was still right in his ear, causing the two to be only inches apart from each other. The two both blushed, but neither moved. As Logan flicked his eyes down to Patton’s lips and inched closer, Patton seemed to snap out of his haze.

“-pression. It’s just an expression! Let’s make some popcorn!! Virgil would you help me in the kitchen?” Patton finished nervously, walking quickly to the kitchen.

“Hmm?” Virgil asked, as he had been debating with Roman on whether or not Shrek would be a Disney prince if Disney had made the movie.

“Kitchen! Now, please!” Patton said a little too frantically.

Virgil glanced at Logan who had a blush on his face, but only received a confused shrug from the man. He walked into the kitchen to find Patton leaning over resting his hands on his knees.

“Woah, Patton are you alright?” Virgil asked worriedly.

“Yeah!” Patton said straightening up. “I guess I just needed to collect myself was all.”

Virgil didn’t seem convinced. “What happened?”

“He tried to kiss me!” Patton whispered frantically opening up the popcorn and putting it in the microwave. “Again! I mean he did the first time and I liked it very much, but I wasn’t really prepared for it and - ”

“Wait he didn’t get your consent?” Virgil said worriedly, with a hint of anger in his voice.

“Technically no, but it was a complicated situation.” Patton defended. “I’m happy with the outcome and hold no grudges or bad feelings against Logan for that kiss. But anyway, he tried to do it again and I got scared!! Why am I so nervous about it this time?” Patton finished confused.

“Because it’s up to you whether or not you want to kiss him.” Virgil said plainly.

“But I do!! Very much so!! It’s just the idea of me being involved makes me nervous! What if I do it wrong?! What if I kiss back and he doesn’t like it!! What if he wants to move too fast!!” Patton’s face drained. “Oh god, what if he wants to have sex with me?!! I know we were joking about it earlier, but I don’t know how to have sex, I’ve never done it before!! I mean jesus, sometimes I feel embarrassed just about mas- ”

“Patton!” Virgil interrupted blushing. “You need to slow down.”

Patton blinked a couple times trying to calm himself.

“I’m sorry Virgil, I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this! It’s inappropriate considering you see me as a father figure.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t be talking to me about this.” Virgil said, almost wincing at Patton’s hurt face. “You need to talk to Logan about all this. If you want to become physically or romantically involved with him, you need to communicate your fears. Communication is key.”

“Huh.” Patton stopped in thought. “When did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been smart. No one just cares to notice.” Virgil quipped back.

Patton’s face nearly crumbled. “I'm _SO_ sorr-” Patton began, but was quickly interrupted by the microwave going off.

“Don’t be sorry Dad! It was just a joke!” Virgil explained. “I promise.” He said softly.

Patton breathed a sigh of relief while pouring the popcorn in a plastic bowl for all of them to share.

“Thank you.” Patton whispered.

The two walked out of the kitchen and into the family room to see the pizza, soda, and a couple alcoholic beverages sitting on the coffee table. Meanwhile, Roman was relaxing on one side of the sofa, with Logan on the other.

Roman looked up with a smirk on his face. “You two done making out in there?” He teased.

Patton flushed bright red. “I WOULD NEVER!!” He said horrified. “He’s my son!”

“Oh, alright.” Roman turned to Logan. “Sorry man.”

“One of these days Roman, I might just initiate a physical altercation with you.” Logan snapped back, face red.

“Logan you look like a tomato!” Patton laughed. He took a deep breath and stepped past his fears, sitting quite close to Logan.

Virgil sat in the middle of the couch, closer to Patton then to Roman. “Alright the movie’s all ready! Let’s get it on!” He said happily.

“Get what on?” Logan asked Patton.

Patton was still warm due to blushing from their earlier exchange. “The movie. Virgil’s ready to watch the movie.” He explained.

“Oh!” Logan said. “I suppose he could have said just that.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Patton agreed.

Virgil rolled his eyes at the two and started the movie.

Throughout the movie Patton would laugh joyfully, (especially at Donkey) while he became more and more comfortable sitting next to Logan. Logan however, quickly became hyper-aware of how close Patton was sitting next to him and could feel every nerve in his body vibrate with excitement and nervousness. Roman had actually enjoyed the movie by the time it was over, and while Virgil liked the movie as he knew he would, he seemed to like the fact that he had company to watch it with him even more.

“Alright another!” Roman said happily. “You three had your pick, now it’s my turn! Cinderella!” He decided.

Patton groaned. “C’mon Roman you watch that all the time! Why not let Logan choose?”

Logan blushed as Patton had been snuggling up with him and was pleased to know he had thought of him.

“Well, if we aren’t only watching Disney movies, how about a documentary on Bees?” Logan suggested. He watched as the other three’s faces fell and stayed quiet.

Then Virgil snorted. “Or we could watch the Bee movie.”

“Ooh! How about a Bugs life!” Patton chimed in.

“What about Wall-e?” Logan suggested.

“Oh! I do like that movie!” Patton agreed.

“Same.” Virgil pitched in.

“Why don’t we just watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood?” Roman grumbled a little too loudly.

“Yeah!!” Patton happily agreed, until he took a look Logan and Virgil and it finally clicked into place. “oh.”

The room fell eerily silent.

“What did you just say?” Virgil said quietly, his voice laced with anger.

 _Whoops_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little more of a “filler” chapter, but I hope you all liked it nonetheless!
> 
> Let me know what you think! I always love seeing everyone’s comments.


	12. Chapter 12

Patton cleared his throat. “You know I’m feeling a bit warm kiddos, I’m going to go change.” He said trying to give Virgil and Roman some privacy. He looked at Logan expectantly, when Logan seemed to get the hint.

“Ah yes Patton, let’s get you into something a little more comfortable.” Logan agreed causing Patton to let out an ‘Eep!’ and scurry back upstairs as Logan followed.

“What did you say?” Virgil asked again.

“It was just a suggestion!” Roman chuckled nervously. “Why does that mea-”

“You lied to me.” Virgil said quietly staring at the floor.

“Well technically, but come on can you blame me?! You shut me out and I was worried!” Roman defended.

“ThaT DOESN'T MATTER!!” Virgil began to yell standing up. “How much did you hear?”

“I barely heard anything!” Roman snapped back. “Logan said the words Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, you cried, and then Logan burst out of there!”

“How can I believe you!?!” Virgil asked angrily.

“Well you’ll just have to trust me!”

Virgil scoffed. “Trust you?!? I trusted you earlier today when you told me you didn’t listen!!”

“WELL WHAT'S THE BIG FUCKING SECRET?!!” Roman blew up.

“IT’S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!!” Virgil roared.

“BUT IT'S JUST PEACHY IF LOGAN AND PATTON KNOW RIGHT?!”

“THAT'S DIFFERENT!! I DIDN’T WANT THEM TO KNOW EITHER!!”

“SO WHY DID YOU TELL THEM!!”

“WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!!”

“BECAUSE, YOU JACKASS!! I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU!!”

“LIKE HELL YOU DO!!” Virgil screamed throwing couch pillows at Roman.

“Why is that so hard for you to believe?” Roman said defeatedly.

“BECAUSE!!!” Virgil shouted. “IF YOU CARED SO GODDAMN MUCH, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO CU-” Virgil slapped his hand to his mouth to stop himself before he blew his secret.

“NO WAIT!! FINISH YOUR SENTENCE!!” Roman yelled.

“I CAN'T!...I can’t…” Virgil said defeated feeling tears run down his face, sitting back down on the couch.

Roman walked over and sat next to him. “Why? What is it tha-”

“Roman.”

Patton’s voice sauntered down the staircase. He didn’t sound angry or upset, but he didn’t sound soft or calm either. The best way to describe his voice would simply be to say it sounded ‘strong’. “I believe that’s enough.”

“Patton this has nothing to do with you.” Roman said annoyed.

“You’re right. Virgil’s secret has nothing to do with me. Or Logan, or you. It is his own private information that he can tell whomever he wishes to tell. Yelling about it is not going to change that fact.” Patton continued on. “I had a hunch and I see now that I pushed Virgil into a corner until he confessed. I was worried and scared just as you are now, but it is abundantly clear that Virgil does not want to tell you. It is time for you to stop hounding him and leave him be. He will tell you when he is ready. That may be in an hour, or it may be in 3 years. It is not up to you, and you need to respect that.”

Roman sat still, feeling the anger he had in him begin to dissipate. “But-”

“RESPECT. IT.” Patton repeated firmly.

Roman sighed feeling calmer. “You’re right Patton. You’re absolutely right.” Roman turned to Virgil whose head was in his hands quietly crying and sniffling. “I’m sorry Virgil.” He said softly. “I hope you can forgive me. I was just worried. Whether you believe me or not, I do actually care for you.”

Roman stood up and began walking upstairs. “I’ll drop it. I hope I can soon prove to you, that I am a worthy enough friend you can trust. Until then I’ll work on earning more of your trust. I’m sorry.”

Roman walked past Patton upstairs, as Patton turned to Virgil.

“Virgil.” Patton said in a much softer voice. “I can see your upset and likely don’t want to talk. So if you’d like to be left alone hold up one finger. If you’d like me to sit with you hold up two.”

Patton waited patiently as Virgil slowly lifted up one finger while still crying in his other hand.

“Very well. I’m here whenever you need to talk or to simply get some hugs. I’ll be in my room. Please don’t hesitate to come in.” Patton finished and walked back upstairs.

Virgil continued sitting on the couch and cried for a little longer.

_I don’t know what I want! While it’s hard keeping this to myself, I can’t let Roman know. If he did he might think I’m being stupid for hurting myself, or that I’m too much of a burden to be friends with me. That I’m just doing this for attention and sympathy! I’m not! I didn’t want anyone to find out. But that stupid ass of his isn’t going to stop is he.._

Virgil began to clench his fists in his hair.

_And the idea that he cares? Yeah it’d be nice to believe it, but.. why would he care? He never did before, until Thomas forced him to be nice to me. I mean he is the actor, so it’d be easy for him to pretend.._

Virgil loosened the grip on his hair feeling his head throb lightly in pain.

_I know Patton and Logan don’t want me to but...it’d make me feel better. And I really want to feel better right now. ...God I’m such a loser._

\- - - - -

  
When Patton reached the top of the stairs, he saw Roman close the door to his room, and Logan standing in the doorway of his.

“That...was...surprising.” Logan said quietly, back in his usual outfit. Patton walked into his room and closed the door as Logan sat on his bed.

Patton sighed deeply. “Did I push him too far?” He asked Logan sincerely. “Should I not have brought it up?”

Logan thought for a moment before answering. “As someone who was once in a similar position Virgil is in now, I can say that I believe you did the right thing in this scenario. I would have never brought it up now or before if you had not helped me in the way that you did when I was younger. Harming yourself feels shameful enough on its own without bringing someone else into it. I never would’ve voluntarily brought it up to someone on my own.”

Patton sat next to Logan and leaned his head on his shoulder. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Logan hesitated but then began running his fingers through Patton’s hair, who let out a pleased humm at the sensation and began to relax into Logan’s shoulder and neck.

The two sat quietly like this for a moment until Logan felt Patton unintentionally lick his lips, just brushing up against Logan’s neck. Logan let out a small noise of pleasure, before taking Patton’s chin, looking into his eyes and moving closer for a kiss. He was stopped abruptly after seeing Patton’s eyes go from hazy enjoyment to fear and jumped out of his bed like Logan had burned him.

Logan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry Patton, have I done something wrong? Stepped over a boundary perhaps?” he asked quietly.

“Nope! No-nonono-not at all! Boundaries? What are those?! Haha remember Vine? That was funny right? Right! It was cool! Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.” Patton rambled on pacing back and forth in his room.

“I apologize Patton, but I am thoroughly confused. Did you not enjoy our first kiss? I was under the impression that you did.”

“Oh I did! ..I definitely did…” Patton tried to reassure, still pacing frantically back and forth.

“Than...why do you seem so concerned?” Logan asked beginning to get nervous.

“I’m not concerned! Not one bit!” Patton said hysterically.

Logan looked at Patton before hanging his head down in defeat. “I believe I understand now.” Logan said.

“You do?” Patton whispered fearfully.

Logan stood up and began to walk to the door. “Yes. When you asked me if I had ever felt something towards you, I was under the impression you wanted something in return. That you were not just curious about how I felt. Now, after realizing that you have been avoiding my most recent advances, I seem to have misunderstood. I apologize. I’ll see myself out.” As Logan reached for the handle to open Patton’s door, Patton grabbed his wrist and spun him around.

“Wait!” Patton squeaked out. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. “Please sit, I'll explain it all.”

“You don’t need to spare my feelings Patton.” Logan stated. “I simply misunderstood.”

Patton growled and shoved Logan on the bed. “WAIT.” He said firmly causing a shiver to go up Logan’s spine.

Patton stopped in front of Logan gaining the courage to tell the truth.

“I, um, I did enjoy our first kiss. Very much so.” Patton admitted unintentionally licking his lips again.

Logan flicked his eyes from Patton’s eyes, to lips, then back up to his eyes. “Why, have you been avoiding me then?” He asked curiously.

Patton groaned. “This so embarrassing! He took a deep breath to collect himself and then looked into Logan’s eyes. “I haven’t ...had much...experience…” he stuttered out.

“Experience in what?” Logan asked confused.

“In this!!” Patton exclaimed gesturing between the two of them.

“I apologize, I still don’t understand. We’ve been friends for many years now. By definition, you’ve had lots of experiences with me.”

“Not PHYSICAL ONES!” Patton blurted out.

Logan began to get frustrated. “Patton you are a very physical person, we’ve hugged many times before, and -“

“Ok, then not sexual ones!!” Patton said exasperated.

That shut Logan up quickly. “Oh.” He stated, quite red.

Patton groaned. “Look Logan. I like you very much. _Very much_. But when it comes to kissing and more, I’m just a blushing virgin!! You were my first kiss! I’m frightened that I’ll mess something up and you’ll get disgusted by me or you won’t like they way I look… I don’t want to be nervous about this, but I am.” Patton admitted staring at the floor.

“Oh.” Logan said again even quieter. When he saw Patton flinch he quickly tried to reassure him. “Forgive me Patton, but I’m still a bit confused. What makes you think I have more experience than you?”

Patton froze at those words. “What?”

“I am all new to this too. That kiss with you was my first as well. I have no experience in any of this either. I have done much research on it yes, but I don’t have any first hand experiences. As for your fears, I can assure you there’s no need to worry. First off we look incredibly similar, so it would be extremely odd if I had an issue with how you look and not how I look. Secondly you cannot get better at something without practice. So if for some reason I didn’t like your kissing, we would simply kiss more to get better at it! Plus the idea of virginity is meaningless when you consid-”

“So..” Patton said slowly. “Your willing to be patient with me? With this?”

Logan’s face softened. “Of course Patton. As long as you’re willing to be patient with me as well.”

“Absolutely…” Patton left the word hang off his lips as if he had something else to add.

“Was there something else?” Logan asked kindly.

Patton’s eyes looked over every bit of Logan’s face before continuing. “Would...would you be willing to take the lead? In our physical relations as of now? I’m not sure I’m ready to initiate something with you yet.” He asked shyly.

Logan’s breath hitched at the idea of being in control. He cleared his throat. “I would be more than willing, as long as you are honest with me and tell me when you want to stop. I know you tend to focus on other people’s feelings first but…” Logan stood up, took Patton’s hands and sat him down on the bed next to him. “I need you to be up front with me if you are uncomfortable with something. I would be very upset if you continued doing something you didn’t want to do, just because you wanted to spare my feelings. That's not how relationships work.”

Patton looked into Logan’s eyes with surprise. “So this is a relationship?”

Logan panicked. “Not if you don’t want it to be! I merely meant tha-”

“I do.” Patton interrupted. “I’d like to try this out as a relationship.”

Logan’s eyes lit up with joy. “Very well.”

Logan brushed his thumbs over Patton’s hands to reassure him. “So what would you like to do now?”

Patton looked at Logan nervously. “Can we just…” he tapered off.

“Honesty Patton. I need you to be honest.” Logan reminded him kindly.

Patton took a deep breath. “Could we just sit next to each other? And talk?”

Logan smiled “Of course we can.”

Patton and Logan scooted up to the back of the bed and sat quietly next to each other. It felt a little awkward for the first minute or two, but then soon became comfortable.

“You know there was something I did want to bring up to you.” Patton murmured, head leaning on Logan’s shoulder.

“What’s that?” Logan replied softly.

“What’s that whole ‘Daddy’ thing you, Roman, and Virgil seem to talk about?”

Logan just about choked on air he stiffened up so much with shock.

“What?” Patton said confused.

“I’m going to murder him.” Logan rumbled under his breath.

“Who? Roman?” Patton asked curiously, enjoying seeing Logan blush so much.

“Yes.” He said factually.

There was a silence before Patton spoke up again. “You never answered the question Logan.”

“I-” Logan paused. “I don’t think that’s something we should talk about at the moment.” Logan admitted.

“Oh that’s fine.” Patton said quietly. “I’ll just look it up online later.” Logan froze.

_I honestly don’t know if that’d be a good or bad thing for him to look up. It’d save me a lot of nervousness and embarrassment from trying to explain it to him, but knowing Patton he’d probably just go down a rabbit hole-_

Logan’s mind short-circuited for a moment as he felt Patton press a small kiss into his neck.

“You seemed to be thinking too much.” Patton informed Logan teasingly.

Patton continued to press light kisses into Logan’s neck until he reached his collarbone and sucked on it for a moment when he immediately heard Logan quietly moan before slapping his hand on his mouth to cover up his embarrassing noises.

Patton looked at Logan cockily. “Liked that didn’t you?” Logan took his hand off his mouth to answer, but the minute he did Patton grabbed his hand, held it to his bed and licked a stripe from Logan’s collarbone up to his neck causing him to whine softly and shift around on Patton’s bed to avoid Patton noticing the start of a problem.

“Jesus Patton, what happened to me taking the lead?” Logan said with a soft laugh.

Patton looked into Logan’s eyes nervously. “Is this not okay?” He whispered.

“Hah.....it’s more than okay.” Logan smiled.

Patton smiled before teasingly sucking on Logan’s earlobe, causing another quiet moan from the man.

“ _Fuck...Patton…_ ” Logan mumbled to himself.

“Not yet...but sometime, yes.” Patton responded.

Logan felt his arousal spike at the innocent comment.

Patton looked into Logan’s eyes and flicked them down to his mouth to indicate he wanted a kiss. Logan’s eyes softened and leaned in to Patton to give him a sensitive kiss, grinning when he earned a sigh of enjoyment from the man. He shifted his body over to get more comfortable kissing when he barely brushed up against Patton’s leg and caused himself to quietly gasp in pleasure. Patton froze at the sound and pushed himself away from Logan to see if he was in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Patton frowned nervously.

“Nothing.” Logan whispered out embarrassed. He went back to kiss Patton but was stopped again.

“Logan what did I do wrong?” Patton said more insistently.

Logan blew out a breath before chuckling. “Patton you’re doing nothing wrong. It’s more like you're doing too much right.”

Patton seemed to mull over what Logan said before his face got bright red. “Sorry.” He said sheepishly. “I messed up the moment, didn’t I?”

Logan looked at Patton sweetly. “Patton you didn’t do anything wrong or mess anything up.”

Patton paused before looking up at Logan, batting his eyes at him and saying a sentence that nearly gave Logan a heart attack. “ _Are you sure Daddy?_ ”

Logan’s eyes grew wide in shock as Patton’s grew wide in fear. Patton jumped out of his bed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry!! I’m so sorry! I misunderstood! I just assumed it had something to do with this… I wasn’t sure if you wanted to call me Daddy or you wanted me to call you Daddy. Oh my god I’m such a freak.”

Logan hadn’t moved an inch when he heard those words come out of Patton’s mouth.

Patton was panicking pacing back and forth in his room as Logan slowly sat up, grabbed a pillow and placed it in his lap. He began to focus on breathing steady breaths.

“Patton.” Logan asked calmly.

“Yeah?”

“Would you be willing to read from the phonebook for me?”

“What?” He said confused.

Logan cleared his throat. “I have one on my desk. Would you go get it and begin reading one of the pages to me?”

“I- yeah I guess.” Patton said confused. He walked out of his room giving Logan a moment to just sink in what just happened.

_HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. SHIT. THAT WAS SO GODDAMN HOT. I couldn’t stop thinking about me calling Patton that, but him saying it to me?! Damn, I did not expect to enjoy that nearly as much as I did. ….Jesus…_

Patton walked back in, sat next to Logan, and began reading a random page from the phone book. While Logan was still excited when Patton started reading, he soon calmed down as Patton’s voice grew more and more bored and annoyed with what he was reading.

\- - - - -

When Virgil heard a door upstairs open and close a minute later, he stood up, walked upstairs quietly and stopped at his bedroom door.

 _Even Deceit said it. I’m only going to disappoint everyone so why try to fight it?_ _ **Because**_ _,_ His brain argued back. _**You know what Deceit does - he manipulates.** **He’s gotten into your head.** I know...I’m weak for letting him get to me._

He turned so his back was against the door and slid down until he was on the floor.

_Maybe Patton or Logan could help...I really don’t want to bother them though...Logan’s gone through this before, but Patton would probably be more emotionally comforting. I...I don’t know what to do._

_I don’t know what to do._

So he sat. Too paralyzed by fear to go into his room where he knows what he’ll do, and too afraid to ask for help. He pulled his knees towards his body and buried his head in them, making himself as small as he possibly could.

\- - - - -

“Sharri Evens - 974-331-58-...ugh Logan this is so boring can I stop please?” Patton complained.

Logan chuckled finally feeling calm enough to have a conversation again.

“That’s fine Patton. Thank you.”

“What was the point in that?” Patton asked.

“You really don’t know?” Logan asked bemused.

Patton looked embarrassed for not understanding.

“Patton it was to calm me down.” Logan explained. “I was getting more….excited….than I thought I would be tonight and I needed something to help me with that.”

Patton laughed. “I just thought everyone thought of cannibalistic clowns.”

Logan stared at Patton. “I have never heard anyone using that tactic before, but am not surprised it works.”

“So...you don’t hate me do you?” Patton asked shyly.

“Hate you?!?” Logan asked shocked. “More like say that to me again fifty more times!” he blurted out without thinking.

Patton looked surprised. “Wait, you liked that?”

“More than I ever thought I would.” Logan admitted.

“Oh! Well I’m glad.” Patton said relieved. “I thought the implication was that you wanted to call me that, but I wouldn’t really be comfortable with that.”

“Well that was the original implication yes, but clearly my body liked your idea better.”

“Well…” Patton said shyly. “While I wouldn’t be comfortable with you calling me Daddy, I thought maybe you’d be ok with calling me ‘Sir’.”

Logan leaned his head up against the wall.

“Or not!” Patton said worriedly. “It was just a suggestion.”

“Patton.” Logan said staring at the ceiling.

“Yes?”

“How is it that you are so goddamn adorable and innocent all the time, and then you say things like that that make me want to lose my mind.”

Patton was confused again. “So...you liked that idea?”

Logan let out a breathy laugh before turning to Patton. “ _Yes, Sir._ ”

Patton’s mouth dropped as all the blood rushed from his head.

“Yeah..” Patton said mouth dry. “That’s a good idea.”

Logan leaned in to give Patton a kiss once more when Patton pushed his chest away.

“Wha-” Logan began asking confused when Patton held up one finger to his lips.

Patton was concentrating on his hearing as he thought he heard a noise outside his door. He walked over and opened his door where he saw Virgil curled up into a ball at the foot of his own door crying.

“Virgil?”

Virgil lifted his head to look at Patton.

Patton walked to Virgil and squatted in front of him. “Virgil, kiddo what’s wrong?”

“Patton...I want to do it ..so badly.” Virgil said shaking.

Logan followed Patton out a moment later and looked down at Virgil. “Are you alright Virgil?”

Virgil looked past Patton to see Logan’s slightly blushed face, Patton’s open door, and Logan’s closed one. He flushed with embarrassment, and stood up hastily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” He said rushed, turning to open his door before Patton stopped him by grabbing his shoulders and turned him back around.

“You could never interrupt anything Virgil! We’re always here for you whenever you need us.” Patton said sincerely.

Logan opened his mouth to point out that he did unintentionally interrupt them, but before he could say a word he saw Patton looking at him with daggers in his eyes. He closed his mouth immediately, realizing that probably wouldn’t be the best of ideas as of now.

“Why don’t you come in my room kiddo and sit with us?” Patton suggested.

Virgil hesitated. “I-I really don’t want to bother you guys.”

“It’s alright Virgil. You’re not being a bother. Please - we’d like to help.” Logan insisted.

Virgil opened his mouth to protest again when Logan interrupted softly.

“Virgil, I know how difficult it is to ask for help. I didn’t when I was younger and I was in pain for longer than I needed to be if I had the courage to ask. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if we were to let you go into your room, would you harm yourself?”

Virgil stopped to think when he was interrupted again.

“The fact that your thinking about it Virgil is a bad sign. Please let us help - we don’t need to talk, we’d just like to be with you.”

Virgil sighed. “Okay… as long as you're alright with it.”

“Were more than alright with it. C’mon bud.” Patton said putting his arm around Virgil’s waist and walking him into his room.

Logan closed the door quietly and the three sat on Patton’s bed with Virgil in the middle of a Logan and Patton sandwich.

Patton leaned his head on Virgil’s shoulder and began talking about how much the two of them meant to him and how much he cares for them both. He soon got sidetracked and began a debate with Logan on what kind of cat he should get (Patton wanted a calico and Logan pointed out he was allergic and shouldn’t get one at all) and Virgil soon felt comfortable and safe. He quickly fell asleep between the two of them as Patton pulled up his blankets and Logan left to go to sleep in his own room.

“Thank you Logan.” Patton whispered.

Logan smiled, quietly opened and closed the door, when he turned around to see Roman.

His face was red and splotchy, nose running, eyes were watering with disbelief while holding a prince build-a-bear tightly against his chest.

“He’s hurting himself?” Roman whispered utterly devastated.

Logan sighed. “Roman I believe Patton asked you to be patient with Virgil and wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell you himself.”

“I know!!” He whispered harshly. “I had just opened my door to comfort Virgil when I heard him crying, but stopped after I heard him talking to you two! It’s all my fault isn’t it? ..H-he almost told me earlier but stopped himself! Oh my god it’s all my fault…”

Logan gave Roman a quick hug. “Roman, how you treated him could have added to his pain, but you are not the sole reason for it. There are many different reasons that can contribute to the start of self harm, and I know personally that it wasn’t just one thing that made me start.”

Roman paused and sniffled. “Wait you hurt yourself too!?!”

Logan sighed. “Roman I’m truly sorry, but I am all out of emotional support to give at the moment…I wish I could be more helpful in that way, but I need to get optimal rest in order to be helpful tomorrow. Are you going to be alright tonight?”

“Yeah...yeah, I’ll be fine.” Roman conceded.

“Very well.” Logan paused. “Please be sure not to bring this up to Virgil. He didn’t want you to know, so I don't believe it would be helpful for him to find out you overheard us. Wait until he comes to you. If you’d like to talk to someone about this, I believe Patton would be very helpful.”

Roman nodded and rubbed his eyes.

“Good night Roman.”

“Good night Logan.”

Logan walked back into his room leaving Roman standing still in front of Patton's closed door.

 _I have to find a way to help him._ Roman thought to himself as he walked back into his own room. _I can’t bear to think my Dark and Stormy Knight needs to hurt himself._

Roman looked at his bed but instead of hopping back in it, he sat at his desk and began writing down any and all ideas he could think of that could cheer Virgil up. Around 3am he could no longer keep his eyes open and ended up falling asleep, head on his desk, having a nightmare that he could not save Virgil from hurting himself.

When he woke up later that morning he vowed that his dream would never come to be.

He would make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve never written sexy-time stuff before so I hope that part wasn’t too terrible or awkward. 
> 
> Anyway, as always let me know what you think! I love hearing feedback - it gives me life!!


	13. Chapter 13

When Virgil woke up in the morning he was immediately confused. He wasn’t in his room, and…..there was someone snuggling him? He turned slowly to see who it was and as he saw it was Patton he instantly relaxed.

_Huh. I wonder why this isn’t as scary as waking up next to Roman? Maybe because I’m not as concerned of what Patton thinks of me. He’s always helped me and I can’t see him getting angry at me for something like cuddling. If anything he’d get me a gift!_

Vigil snorted at the thought and then covered his mouth to quiet himself as he saw Patton shifting around. When Patton’s eyes opened and he saw Virgil, a big smile came over his face.

“Good morning Virgil. How are you feeling today?”

“Good? I guess? I mean I just woke up.”

“Hmmm... Well I have an idea that will for sure make you feel better.” Patton said mischievously.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Virgil asked raising an eyebrow.

Patton raised his hands and began to wiggle his fingers.

“Wait...no...dONT!” Virgil bursted out with laughter as Patton began to tickle his sides.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Patton said smirking.

“U-UNCLE!! UnCLE!!” Virgil cackled out eyes watering.

“No I’m DAD!!” Patton said as he stopped tickling and launched his body on top of Virgil’s squeezing him in his best dad hug.

Virgil continued to laugh with joy when Patton’s door burst open.

“What’s wrong?!? Who do I need to stab?!” Roman yelled as he came in with his samurai sword in battle position. He had clearly just woken up as he was still in his pj’s, his hair was disheveled, and his eyes were hazed but frantic.

Patton rolled off of Virgil and smiled big at Roman.

“Everything’s fine kiddo! Just having some fun with Virgil here.”

Virgil had a big grin on as well from all the laughing.

“Oh.” Roman blushed, clearing his throat. “Well if all is well…”

“Wait Roman did you break my door?!” Patton laughed loudly jumping out his bed. He went to check his doorframe to find out that a piece of it near the doorknob had splintered off. “Oh my god you did!”

Roman blushed even harder. “Yes well...I was concerned..”

“Concerned about what?” Patton smiled at Roman with a wink.

“Yeah Roman, concerned about what?” Virgil smiled wide.

“I-just-you know what! This is what I get for being the hero! No one appreciates the gesture!” Roman said flustered.

“You look like a hot mess!!!” Virgil called out the door as Roman exited.

“Thanks for thinking I’m hot!” Roman yelled back.

Patton closed the door with a chuckle. His face softened as he looked at Virgil. “You know he really cares about you right kiddo?”

Virgil’s smile began to falter into a straight line.

“Yeah…I know…” he said unconvinced.

Patton frowned and sat next to Virgil on his bed again. “What’s wrong bud?”

Virgil hesitated. “It’s just...hard to believe him sometimes. That he cares. I can hear my brain arguing with myself that he’s only doing it because he has to. Because Thomas wants him to. And ...I understand that that’s probably not true, but sometimes it’s just hard not to listen to my brain.”

Patton nodded. “Well I can understand that. But let me ask you this: Is Roman nice to you when you two are alone?”

“Yeah…” Virgil admitted.

“And If Roman was only being nice to you because he has to be, do you think he would continue his kindness outside of the Sanders sides videos?”

“Probably not.”

Patton smiled. “Virgil it’s going to take some time to get used to the idea that you are not the odd one out anymore. You’re loved. And no matter what you do all of us will continue to love you. Not just because of what Thomas said, but because you matter to us.”

Virgil wiped his eyes. “Dammit Patton why do you always make me cry?”

“Because I’m a good Dad. _Water else_ are we good for?”

Virgil groaned with a smile and scrunched up his face at the pun.

“Yeah ok, that was one of my worst puns I’ll admit.” Patton admitted. “But now it’s time to _H2Go-Go_!!”

Virgil laughed. “I honestly don’t know which one of those is worse.”

“Eh, let's not debate. I have a surprise for everyone at breakfast today!”

“Ugh _Patton_ …..I don’t wanna get up!”

“3….”

“Wait what are counting down to?”

“2…” Patton wiggled his fingers teasingly again.

“No! OK! Ok I’m up!!” Virgil jumped out of bed laughing. “I’ll get changed and meet you at breakfast.”

Virgil walked to the door and stopped to laugh at the busted door frame. He looked over his shoulder. “And Patton?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For helping me last night.”

Patton smiled softly. “Anytime kiddo.”

Virgil smiled, opened the door, and took one step out when he heard Patton again. “I mean it Virgil. _Anytime_.”

He stepped into the hallway chuckling as he couldn’t shut the door 100% anymore. As he walked towards his door he could feel himself growing more and more anxious the closer he approached. When he reached his door he stopped, took a deep breath and entered. After a little convincing from himself, he took a shower, brushed his teeth and got dressed. He would hesitate every time he was in the bathroom as his escape tool was in there, but instead continued to walk by it, as he didn’t need it right now. He headed downstairs pausing midway down the stairs.

“Do I smell waffles Patton?”

He heard a sputtered cough and walked in the kitchen to see Logan instead. He was covered in batter sporting a Sherlock apron that said 221B, and looked extremely stressed.

“Ah. Hello Virgil, how are you doing this morning?”

“I’m doing alright...how are you?” Virgil said slowly, confused at the unusual scene before him.

“Well as you can see by my attire and the large mess I seem to be making, I am attempting to make breakfast for everyone.”

“Ok...thanks, but why?”

“Well…” Logan began looking embarrassed. “I wanted to thank Patton for a nice evening last night. I thought this would do it, and cheer you and Roman up as well.”

“Nice evening?....” Virgil said confused. “Oh my god did you two have sex?!?”

Logan dropped a measuring cup full of batter on the floor in shock. “What!? No! Of course not! I-just-”

“AH! You can’t run away Logan! Leaving an area with a heating element unsupervised would be very unsafe!” Virgil pointed out snarkily.

Logan stopped and huffed. “Well unfortunately, you are correct.” His cheeks flaming red. “But we did not have sex. We merely discussed our relationship.”

Virgil wiggled his eyebrows. “Relationship?”

“I-” Logan was interrupted by Patton’s cheery voice coming down the stairs.

“Yum! Do I smell waffles?! Is that you Roman?” He asked before swinging the corner with a gift bag in tow to see Logan and Virgil.

“Logan!” Patton said happily “Are you making breakfast?”

“Why yes, I thought it wou-” Logan began, walking towards Patton until he slipped on the spilt batter and almost fell flat on his face. Luckily Patton has ‘Dad-like’ reflexes as he immediately dropped the bag, and caught Logan in his arms before he hit the ground.

Patton chuckled. “I’m glad I caught you! We wouldn’t want to harm that pretty face of yours would we?”

Logan flushed even more as Patton helped Logan steady his feet. “I-Well…” he cleared his throat and fixed his tie. “Thank you Patton.”

“No prob Bob! So what’s the big occasion?”

“No occasion Patton. I just thought I’d make these as thanks for a nice evening with you.”

Patton smiled wide with a light blush on his cheeks. “Well that’s incredibly kind of you! Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Yes actually. Would you mind taking over while I clean up? I’m not too fond of being wet and sticky - it’s very icky. …..Sticky and wet makes me upset.”

“Did you just quote Icarly?” Virgil asked.

“What!? No….Shut up.” Logan said blushing as he walked up the stairs.

Patton winked at Virgil. “That nerd totally did. You can still be intelligent and like silly stuff that makes no sense at all.”

Virgil smiled. _Like you?_ He thought to himself. “You know I’m so glad you’re happy again. This week was pretty brutal with you and Logan.”

“Yeah…” Patton started as he put on his apron. “But you helped me out in a major way, so thank you for that.”

Virgil felt a light blush on his face and sat in silence while Patton finished up cooking the waffles. Just as he put a couple on each plate, Logan came back down with Roman right behind him.

“Careful Logan.” Virgil teased. “Don’t laugh or Roman will break your door!”

“Hardy har-har.” Roman said sarcastically.

Logan looked at the two. “I am thoroughly confused.”

“Roman broke a piece off of my door frame this morning, after he heard me and Virgil laughing.” Patton clarified.

“Ah. I'm still confused as to why, but don’t really care.”

“Of course you don’t - you’d need special batteries for that Mr. Robot.” Roman snarked a little more rudely than normal. “.....Say….” Roman eyes lit up as he turned to Logan. “Did you have a good time with your Daddy last night?

Logan blushed furiously.

“Roman, why do yo-”  
“Why yes I did.”

Roman and Logan both whipped their heads around to see Patton with a huge grin on his face. Their jaws nearly fell to the floor. The room was quiet in pure shock before-

“OH MY GOD ROMAN!!” Virgil cackled holding his stomach. “THIS IS YOUR KARMA! YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN!”

Roman looked horrified. “ _ **What have I done.**_ ” He whispered to himself dramatically.

Virgil literally fell off his chair hitting the floor with a thud as he continued to laugh hysterically.

Roman ran over to Virgil’s side. “Are you alright love?”

Virgil snorted and responded with “Yes Daddy!!” Two seconds passed when they each realized what the other had said.

“Did you just-”  
“Did you call-”

Patton cleared his throat. “Alright everyone, waffles are ready!”

Roman helped Virgil up to his feet, both avoiding eye contact.

“Dig in guys! Today’s breakfast is extra special as it was made by Logan!”

“I just followed the directions it’s not that special.” Logan blushed.

“Yes but you made it with love so that makes it special.” Patton pointed out smiling.

Logan was going to retaliate before he realized Patton unintentionally implied that Logan loves him. It’s not that he doesn't love Patton…..He does! But..it never occurred to him that now that they are in a relationship, the word love means something different. It means something more.

 _Am I overthinking this?_ Logan thought to himself as he watched Patton pass out the plates. _It doesn’t seem that Patton knows what he said. Or doesn’t realize how big of a deal it is. Is it a big deal?_

Logan shook his head to get out of his mind when he saw Patton looking at him with curiosity and concern.

The four sat down and began to add their syrup and butter to their waffles. When Virgil lifted up his fork and knife to cut his breakfast, something weird happened.

“I got it!!” Roman said frantically pulling Virgil’s plate towards himself and began cutting up his food.

Virgil stared bewildered at the place his food should be, before he turned to Roman.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Roman looked up to see Logan roll his eyes, Patton looking confused, and Virgil looking both confused and angry.

“What?” Roman nervously chuckled. “Can’t a friend cut up his friends food because of friendship?”

Virgil paused for a moment. “No you weirdo. Give me back my waffles.”

Roman hurried to finish cutting Virgil’s waffles, before Virgil grabbed the plate from underneath Romans hands.

“Well other than Roman acting a bit strange,” Patton interrupted. “How has everyone’s morning been? Logan did you sleep well?”

“Very well Patton. Thank you for asking.”

Roman opened his mouth to make a quip but pouted when realized he couldn’t - he can’t tease Logan anymore about the daddy thing now that Patton apparently knows what it is, and calls Logan that! He shuddered.  _Good god what did I start?_

“Ha! Can’t make fun of Logan anymore huh?” Virgil teased, knowing that’s what Roman was going to do.

Roman turned to glare at Virgil when he realized Virgil had somehow gotten syrup on his cheekbone. He rolled his eyes, wet his thumb, and got into Virgil’s space to wipe it off.

“Were you born in a barn?” Roman murmured as he wiped the syrup off of Virgil’s face. The moment after felt like time had stopped, as Virgil turned to look into Romans eyes and the two both felt their hearts jump at the unexpected gentleness of the act.

Roman sat up abruptly and cleared his throat. “I mean, really. Have you no class?” Roman said before unconsciously sucking his thumb to get syrup off.

Virgil made a small squeak at the sight while the others stared at Roman in surprise.

“What?” Roman said embarrassed. “He had some syrup on his face and I got it off for him! As a friend! We’re just friends! No homo!”

“No...” Virgil started after his brain shut down from the sight. “...No homo?! Roman we’re all gay. Like super gay. Like Gay with the ™ on it. We are _trademark_ _Gay_. ...No homo? More like FULL HOMO - all the time!”

Patton laughed loudly at the comment. “Ha! I LOVE it. FULL HOMO!! Logan would you be full homo with me?”

Logan blushed at the unexpected comment. “Sure Patton.”

“Sure what?”

Logan rolled his eyes fondly. “I will be full homo with you Patton.”

Patton beamed at the statement before leaning over to Logan’s ear. “I believe you meant to say ‘I will be full homo with you _Sir._ ’” He whispered mischievously.

Logan’s mouth fell open in shock once more before Patton took his jaw, shut it for him, winked, and turned back to the other two sides. “Well everyone, once you’ve finished with your breakfast I’ve got a surprise for you all in the living room!”

He stood up after he shoveled his breakfast in his mouth and set his plate on the counter next to the sink. “C’mon, C’MON!!” Patton said hopping up and down excitedly.

Roman and Virgil glanced at each other curiously and quickly ate their food, before adding their plates to the pile of dishes and walked over to a bouncing Patton.

“C’moooon Logannn!!” Patton whined.

Logan seemed to snap back into reality after hearing his name being called. He was just a _tad distracted_ thinking about what Patton had whispered to him a couple minutes ago. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably and coughed. “Go ahead and start without me. I’ll be over in a minute I just need time to, uh, finish my waffles.” He said blushing bright red.  
  
Patton shrugged, not really understanding the effect his words had on Logan. “Alright sit down you two!” He said cheerfully.

Romans and Virgil did what they were told despite not having a clue as to what was going on.

“Alright.” Patton began. “So….the surprise is…..drumroll please…” he waited as Roman rolled his eyes and began to drumroll on his lap. Patton’s smile grew wider when he saw Virgil join Roman.

“Heehee!! Presents!!!!” Patton exclaimed. A moment passed when Virgil opened his mouth and Patton cut him off. “No, I don’t expect anything back. This is something I wanted to do for everyone and you shouldn’t feel bad for not knowing about it. That was the whole point! It was a surprise!!”

“But it’s no ones birthday...or a name reveal day...or even any holiday! So what’s the reason?” Roman asked curiously.

“LOVE! I just love you all so much I wanted to show that to you by surprising you with gifts!” Patton’s smile began to fade as they seemed much less happy then he had hoped. “Is that ok?” He said quietly.

Virgil nudged Romans arm as he was staring at the floor in confusion. “I-Yes. Of course it’s ok! I just wish we had something for you.”

“Never mind that - I didn’t want anything. I just want you all to open your gifts!! Virgil first!” He said excitedly. He grabbed the gift bag and brought it over to the living room and pulled out a small box wrapped in Nightmare before Christmas wrapping paper. “Sorry if there’s some dried batter on it.”

“If there is that would be my fault.” Logan added as he walked over to the couch to join the others. There was still a faint blush on his cheeks but he felt much more in control now. He liked his control. “I spilt the batter earlier as you saw.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Virgil mumbled. He could feel his heartbeat beginning to pound faster as all of the negative outcomes began to flood his mind.

_What if I don’t like it? I could try to pretend that i do, but I’d be lying to Patton! But, saying I didn’t like it would feel worse. It would crush him! I can’t let that happen!! God why does he have to be so nice? I’m gonna screw this up like everything else. I-_

His train of thought stopped when he felt Roman brush his thumb on his hand reassuringly. He looked up to see Roman pull back his hand and apologize. “Virgil?” Patton said quietly.

“Yeah. Sorry.” Virgil began to open the wrapping paper with his shaky hands. _God I’m even nervous about opening the gift wrong! What is going on today?_ When he was finished he pulled out the box which had a picture of the Emo/Son mug on it. He heard Roman aww at the sight of it, while he opened up the box and pulled out the mug and held it in both his hands.

“Do you like it?” Patton said nervously.

“Yeah of course! I just ..don’t really drink coffee or tea..” Virgil replied quietly.

“Oh well I can return it and get you some-“

“What? No. Shut up. I’m keeping it forever.” Virgil interjected holding the mug to his chest.

Patton smiled again and chuckled. “Well I’m glad! Roman you're up next!” He said as he handed Roman a colorful envelope.

Romans mouth faltered as he was hoping for a present and not just an envelope. He hid his disappointment in his chest as he opened it up. He immediately squealed. “The Lion King?!?”

“Yeah I mean I know it’s no broadway or anything but,”

“But it’s young actors trying to discover themselves!” Roman said excitedly “Thank you Patton! I’m very excited to go!!”

Patton’s smile grew even more. “And Logan, your gift …” he gasped. “I forgot to put it in the bag!! Well it’s in my room, I can give it to you in there! Let’s go!” Patton said as he began to pull Logan up off the couch. Logan looked at the other two for help but only received a wink from Roman and a scrunched up face from Virgil.

Logan blushed wondering if Patton knew how those words could have been interpreted. As he followed Patton in his room he smiled and sat on his bed. “Patton.”

“Hmm?” Patton responded making a mess of his room trying to look for Logan’s gift.

“It’s all right. I know you didn’t get me a gift.” Logan admitted.

Patton paused and turned around. “What are you talking about? Of course I got you a gift!”

“No, you didn’t.” Logan sighed. “That night...I got sick and said that horrible thing to you-“

“That was Deceit. Those weren’t your words.” Patton argued.

“Nonetheless.” He still wasn’t sure if it was Deceit who made him say it the first time or not. It’s been nagging at the back of his brain since the moment it happened. “I lied to you. Later that evening I told you I hadn’t looked in your shopping bag when in fact, I did. I apologize.”

Patton stared at him confused. “But...if you did look in the bag than you know your gift was there!”

“No. There was Romans, Virgil’s, and I assume Scandal was a gift for deceit?”

“Yeah, before that bastard-” Patton cut himself off in order to calm down. “Yes, Scandal was for Deceit. But I got a gift for everyone! I even got Depression a gift!” He said scrambling around his desk to pull it out. “SEE?!” Patton said as he shoved something in Logan’s hands.

“Patton, this is a single sheet of paper with the words ‘GO AWAY!’ written in all caps.”

“And I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

Logan snorted in laughter at the response. “Well despite that I still kn-”

“AH-HA!! I just remembered It’s in my closet!” Patton said abruptly. He ran over to his closet and began digging around. Logan began to feel upset at the lengths Patton was going to cover up he didn’t get him a gift. It was alm-

“Close your eyes.” Patton said, back turned to Logan.

“But why?”

“C’mon Lo, just do it please?!”

Logan smiled at the nickname Patton gave him. He never had a nickname before - other than the creative insults Roman called him. He sighed and shut his eyes. “Very well.”

“Are they closed?” He heard Patton say, doing his best not to peek out of curiosity.

“Yes. I promise.”

Logan could almost hear the smile on Patton’s face as he walked over to him. He felt something being placed in his hands.

“Wait!” Patton said quickly. “D-don’t open your eyes yet.” He sounded timid which was odd to Logan, considering he was always joyous when giving gifts. “I’m not Roman so this is probably not as great as he could have made it, but - I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you. That the things I say during the videos aren’t just words I throw around. I mean them.” Patton took a deep breath almost as if to brace himself for a severely negative reaction. “Al-Alright. You can open your eyes.”

Logan opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get used to the light again. He first looked at Patton who, honest to god looked frightened which broke Logan’s heart. He slowly looked down to see what was in his hands and as he held it up to look closer, he began to cry the moment he realized what it was.

“I-I’m sorry if you don’t like it - i jus-”

“Patton” Logan cut him off sounding choked up. “I-I” he took a deep breath “ _I love it._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this story is 85% Logicality and just 15% Prinxiety, but Roman and Virgil’s relationship is a little trickier due to the history the 2 have had. We will get more of that soon so don’t worry. 
> 
> Also fun side note - the whole splintering the door frame thing is a real life event that happened between my sister and I. ...I may have panicked in a “DONT TELL MOM!” scenario and broke her door to try and cheer her up. Siblings am I right?! 
> 
> Anyway, as always I love reading your comments and thoughts on the chapter so feel free!! :D


	14. Chapter 14

A cheap dollar store crown, a packet of rhinestones, a fake sword and a singular Black Sharpie.

Those were the only things left that were in the plastic bag with all the other gifts. Logan had come to the understandable conclusion that these gifts would have something to do with Roman, as he is the Creative Prince after all. He never expected that they were for him. Those random items created something that surprisingly brought tears to his eyes as this creation could have only been made by Patton.

In his hands he held three things. A crown littered with dark and light blue rhinestones. A dark blue sash with the words “My Hero” on it. And a sword that had an inscription across the fake blade: Knowledge: It is our greatest weapon and our greatest defense.

It was upon seeing those words that he felt tears fall down his face.

“I-I’m sorry if you don’t like it - i jus-”

“Patton” Logan cut him off sounding choked up. “I-I” he took a deep breath “I _love_ it.”

“You know you don’t have to just say that because we’re dating now right?” Patton said shyfully kicking the ground. “I know it’s not as fancy as theatre tickets, or a mug, but-”

Patton stopped when he saw Logan set the items down and began to move toward him. He began to sink back into himself as he worried deeply that it wasn’t good enough for Logan. He should have bought him a book or some sciencey thing. He should have made more of an effort to get him something that he truly deserves, not just some homemade craft. He could have-

His brain stopped working as Logan slowly placed his hands on Patton’s face and looked deep into his eyes. “Patton. I truly, unequivocally, love this gift. I will cherish these items deeply as they provide me with the comfort that you care and listen to me even when I don’t necessarily deserve it. Even when you weren’t fully in the room. Even when I said horrible things I didn’t think through, only moments after the words on the sword left my mouth. While there is no practical use for these items, what they represent is far more useful to me as they link me to emotion. I may not like emotions very much, but when I feel negative ones, I can look at these items and remember that I can feel positive ones as well.”

Logan took a deep breath. “May I?” He asked softly, flicking his eyes down to Patton’s mouth. Patton just barely nodded as he was surprised at the reaction Logan was giving him. Very slowly Logan leaned down and gave Patton what he would later deem as the softest, kindest, best kiss he had ever received from the logical man as of yet. Little did he know he would receive many, many more of these kisses in the future. Patton melted into the kiss tasting the salty tears that continued to trickle down Logan’s cheeks. All the fears and worries he had quickly faded away as he could only focus on the feel of Logan’s lips on his. As Logan began to retreat from the kiss he felt Patton add pressure and pull Logan closer. Logan made a noise of surprise and enjoyment in the back of his throat, before placing his hands on Patton’s shoulders and pushing him back.

“Did I do something wrong?” Patton asked confused at Logan’s reaction versus his actions.

“No Patton, it’s just-” Logan replied looking flushed. “You have to remember that all of this - physical stuff - is new to me too. Having my emotions run high, along with new physical experiences can be a bit much for me.”

Patton’s face softened. “I'm sorry, I didn-”

“Patton. Please don’t apologize. You didn’t step over any boundary, or upset me in anyway. I just - needed you to know that while I would enjoy continuing this with you at the moment, It’d be unwise as the combination would be too overwhelming.”

Patton paused in thought. “I still feel like a should apologize.”

Logan chuckled. “Why don’t we show your gift to the others.”

“Are you sure you want to? I mean it’s kinda cheesy. And I don’t want you to feel embarrassed.”

Logan laughed loudly. “That’s surprising! It almost seems like you like getting me embarrassed, _Sir_.”

Patton’s mouth dropped as Logan picked up his gifts and swung his hips slowly and scantily out the door, as if winning a nobel peace prize was on the line.

“You coming?” Logan asked down the hallway to Patton still frozen in his room.

“God I wish.” Patton whispered to himself. “Yeah, I'll be there in a moment!” He called back. Logan stayed silent before continuing to walk down the stairs, but Patton swears he could hear the smirk on Logan’s face.

Meanwhile, Roman had been staring nervously at Virgil’s mug long enough for Virgil to notice.

“Ok what’s wrong dude?” Virgil asked annoyed.

“What? Nothing! Just um - be careful with that.”

“With the mug?” Virgil asked bewildered.

Roman cleared his throat looking like he had been caught. “Yeah I mean...it’s from Patton and you wouldn’t want to make him feel bad if you dropped it.”

“Gee thanks for telling me. I was going to throw it against the wall in front of Patton just to see his heart break, but I guess I won’t now.” Virgil said sarcastically. “Why are you so worried about it?”

Romans eyes darted back and forth worried. “I just…”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Whatever Princey.” He stood up to leave the living room.

“Wait!”

Virgil turned looking at Roman annoyed, when the two both turned to see Logan walk down the stairs, hands behind his back m.

“Excuse me! I have an important announcement to make!” He declared.

“Logan there are literally two of us here.” Virgil pointed out.

Logan ignored him and continued on. “I’ve received a wonderful gift from Patton and would like to share it with you.”

“Ok…” Roman said expectantly.

“Turn around please.”

“Wh-Alright, whatever.” Roman conceded turning around to face the wall, as he took Virgil’s arm to turn him around as well. Virgil rolled his eyes but stood facing the wall anyway. They heard Logan rustle around and then tell them to turn around. Upon seeing him pose in his crown, sash, and sword in hand, Virgil burst out laughing as Roman beamed at the sight.

“Patton made that?!”

“Yes he did.” Logan said proudly.

“Oh my god.” Virgil laughed to himself pulling out his phone. He turned on the video and began to record Logan. “What do you have to say to the world Logan?” He asked in between laughs.

“What’s that popular phrase kids use these days? Oh yeah!” Logan turned to look straight down the camera and placed his hand on his hip. “Suck it Bitches.”

Virgil dropped the phone and began to wheeze he was laughing so hard, when Roman and Logan began to laugh as well.

As Patton walked into the room to see Virgil, Roman, and Logan all laughing, he immediately assumed it was because the gift was so bad.

“Yeah I guess it is pretty funny how bad it is!” Patton began to chuckle feeling hurt, thinking Logan had lied to him.

Roman stopped laughing and tried to reassure him, but before he could Logan walked straight up to Patton, weaved his hands through his hair, and gave him a much more fierce and passionate kiss. Patton’s knees almost buckled at the pure surprise and fever of it. Logan retreated, his eyes strong with emotion, before leaning down to whisper in Patton’s ear. “I told you I love it. You should really listen to your Daddy more.”

He took a step back smirking at Patton’s flushed cheeks, open mouth and the lustful look in his eyes.

Patton blinked a few times before turning to the other sides whose jaws were dropped, Roman looking flush as well.

 _Hot damn._ Roman thought. _I never thought he had it in him!_

“I-um….I gotta do some stuff...yeah. Some stuff..” Patton barely squeaked out before going back upstairs quickly.

“Wow.” Roman said quietly.

“Ugh. I mean I’m happy that you two are happy, but man I’d rather not see that again.” Virgil murmured.

 _Well shit I would._ Roman thought. _Wait is that weird? I mean It’s not because it’s Logan and Patton that that was hot. It’s because the act itself was hot. God I’d love to do that to Virgil. I’d love to make him lose his mind when I-WAIT. You best stop thinking now Roman, or you’re really going to embarrass yourself soon. I mean, I’m confident as fuck, but no one really wants to stand in front of his friends with a bo-_

“Roman?” Virgil asked. “You look like your brain’s going to explode you’re so deep in thought.”

“Wha-?” Roman looked at Virgil and cleared his throat. “Ah. I was just thinking about….the next adventure I’d like to take soon.” _It’s not really a lie - HE is the next adventure._

“Okay. I mean that sounds fake, but ok.” Virgil said. “Well anyway, I’m going to head on up to my room to sketch.”

Romans arousal quickly faded away as he started to worry.

“Oh. Why don’t you stay down here with me and um, watch a movie with me and Logan or something?”

“Logan followed Patton upstairs like a minute ago! You know what, that’s enough. What is it? What are you not telling me?” Virgil asked, fed up with how Roman was acting towards him.

“Noth-”

“Don’t lie to me Roman! You’ve been acting weird all morning.”

“Really it’s nothing!”

“Look-“ Virgil sighed. “I’m still upset you listened yesterday, but I understand why. You were scared. And I know...god, this is hard….I know you care about me, but I wasn’t ready to tell you yet.”

“And are you now?” Roman asked hopefully. He hated knowing the truth behind Virgil’s back.

Virgil bit his lip and looked down at the floor.

_Dead puppies Roman. Dead. Puppies._

He groaned in frustration. “I don’t know!!” Virgil was both surprised and annoyed he began to feel tears in his eyes. “I just don’t want you to think badly of me! I’m not an attention whore, and I know you’ll think I’m dumb for what I’m doing, and I don’t...look Roman as much as we fight, I don’t want to lose you as a friend over something so small. It’s not worth telling you if I’d lose you because of it. It’s not even that big of a deal! Patton and Logan are just making it into one!” He stopped to take a deep breath. “Honestly I...I’m scared to tell you.” He admitted.

Roman sat quietly in thought for a moment before responding. “Virgil - believe it or not I’m scared too.”

Virgil inhaled sharply. “So if your scared too, why do you want to know? Shouldn’t we just drop it?”

Roman looked at Virgil in confusion. “No, I’m not scared about finding out what the secret is. Because whatever it is, I will accept you - I need you to understand that.” Roman said, desperation in his voice. “What I meant was, I’m scared of the idea of you three finding out my secrets too. But, because of that I’m going to tell you a secret of my own. It may not be of the same magnitude, but think of it as an olive branch.”

“Roman, you really don’t have to-”

“I am constantly afraid that you three will find me to be a failure to the group.”

“Wait, what? You are Thomas’ creativity. How could you be a failure?”

“Because I’m me!” Roman exclaimed. “While being confident is a good thing, I am very aware that I can be overly confident to the point of arrogance. I know that without the support of Thomas’ friends, family, and fans, I would not create nearly as much content for fear of it being rejected as dumb, or stupid, or horrible. I fear that you three will realize that I’m not as good at creating as I pretend to be, and kick me out because you don’t need my rude ass in the group and have grown tired of my insults. I’m afraid of being all alone with only my reputation as a rude, failed artist and even worse friend, to keep me company.”

Virgil was surprised to hear all of this come from the usually confident man. “Roman I never knew th-”

Roman shook his head interrupting. “That’s not the point. We can talk about my fears later. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Now...if you still don’t want to tell me your secret that’s fine. I don’t want to push you even farther away by being too eager to help.”

“Okay.” Virgil hesitated.

“Virgil, I can see your nervous. You don’t have to tell me today, it’s oka-”

“But, If-if I don’t tell you now I don’t know when I will. And honestly I’d rather not tell you...I’ll just show you.”

Virgil hands began to shake harshly as he fumbled around to unzip his hoodie. He was interrupted when Roman placed his hands on top of his own.

“Virgil.” Roman whispered. “You don’t have to.”

“C-can you just unzip it for me?”

“Is that truly what you want?” Romans asked worriedly.

Virgil took a deep breath and looked into Romans eyes. “Yes.”

Romans eyes flicked between Virgil’s before removing his hands off Virgil’s.

“No.” Roman said quietly.

“But-but isn’t this what you want?”

“I want you to be happy and comfortable and safe. I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me or show me your secret. Don’t just do it because that’s what I want. Consent isn’t just something that is only applicable during physical acts. While you literally said the word yes, your body language is saying ‘I don’t know’ and ‘I’m scared’. It’s okay to say no.”

Virgil looked down at the ground “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Patton was right. It’s your secret to tell, whenever you want, and to whomever you want. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.” Roman lifted Virgil’s head up with his hand. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Yes. Please.” Virgil whispered back. Roman opened his arms and eagerly let Virgil walk into them. He closed his arms around him, hugging him tightly with the word ‘protect’ running through his mind. Roman pressed a light kiss onto Virgil’s head. “I love you, you Emo Nightmare” He murmured.

“I love you too Princey.” Virgil whispered back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven’t been feeling great, so I thought releasing this a bit early might cheer me up! 
> 
> I hope the gift was worth waiting for!
> 
> And out of curiosity *cough cough* Would anyone like to know what’s going to happen between Logan and Patton upstairs? Or should I just skip over that and leave that to your imagination? 
> 
> OH! Also the whole video thing was based off this tumblr post:
> 
> https://totally-correct-ts-quotes.tumblr.com/post/171935019228/everyone-uncontrollable-laughter-virgil
> 
> I hope this chapter makes you smile, and like always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments! 
> 
> They always cheer me up, and I could use some cheering up today. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Oh, just one more thing.” Roman said quietly, still content with Virgil in his arms.

 “What’s that?” Virgil asked softly.

 Roman leaned down to Virgil’s ear. “ _No homo.”_

 “You fucking piece of shit!” Virgil laughed, pushing himself off Romans chest out of the hug. “Way to ruin the moment.”

 Roman grinned wide with a twinkle in his eye. “So we were having a moment?”

 “What? No! Ju-shut up.” Virgil blushed.

 “Ooooh we were, weren’t we?!” Roman teased.

 “No!! You were just, not annoying this one time in your life.”

 “Hmm...still felt like a moment to me.” Roman continued, smiling. “But alas, my judgment could be off as I don’t remember my Virgil being so open to hugs.”

 “Your Virgil?” Virgil asked cocking an eyebrow.

 It was Romans turn to blush. “I only meant that in the most annoy- WAIT!”

 “What?” Virgil asked alarmed, as he hadn’t moved and Roman was looking all sorts of panicked.

 “Was…..was that my old sash? Did he dye it blue? And write on it?!?” Roman asked angrily.

 “Oh my god Princey, you weren’t using it anymore! It doesn’t matter!!” Virgil said, rolling his eyes at how extra™ Roman was being.

 “Still he should have asked.” Roman grumbled. “No, you know what, I’m going to make him explain.” Roman said beginning to walk up the stairs haughtily.

“Oh I wouldn’t do th-...and he left.” Virgil said to himself. The thought of what had transpired between Patton and Logan just a couple moments ago ran through his mind, and he really did not want to know what was going on between the two of them. He shuddered, and sunk out of the family room to his own room. He definitely did not want to be anywhere near Patton, Logan, and Roman at the moment, as he knew there would be a cringe fest waiting to happen.

———

After Logan’s kiss Patton walked up the stairs quickly and ran into his room, face flushed. He knew he was being a bit of tease last night and at breakfast this morning, but HOLY. SHIT. Is this how Logan was feeling when he teased him? Because holy hell does he want to ravish him till kingdom come.

“Patton?” Logan’s voice sounded worried as he quietly opened Patton’s door. “I’m sorry, was that too much? I just...you’ve been teasing me and I thought...are you alright?”

Patton slowly turned to face Logan, his eyes blazing with lust. “Do you even know?”

Logan’s frowned in confusion. “I know many things. To what are you referring?”

“Do you even know how _fucking hot_ you are?” Patton said, voice raspy with want.

Logan took a step back surprised at Patton's reaction. He cleared his throat blushing. “Well I’m not going to deny that yes, in many eyes, I’m seen as attractive due to the homosapien response of-”

“No.” Patton said. “Not just attractive. _Fucking.  Hot._”

“Oh.” Logan said plainly, not sure how to respond.

“The way you carry yourself. The way you angrily fix your glasses. The way you smile. The way you get nerdy and excited about Sherlock and science. All of that - is hot.”

Logan cleared his throat. “Well...thank you?”

Patton swiftly walked up to Logan coming up only inches between them. “Can I kiss you?” He said eagerly.

Logan’s jaw dropped and mouth went dry. “Yeah…”

Patton pulled Logan’s shirt close to him so their bodies were touching, gripped his hair, and gave him a fierce kiss in return like he had given him earlier.

Logan stiffened surprised at how powerful Patton felt at this moment, but quickly returned the kiss.

Patton let out a groan that had been growing in the back of his throat, then grabbed Logan’s ass and pulled it even closer towards him. Logan let out a surprised squeak at the movement, but then both gasped as it brought the two to relish at the friction they now had between them. Logan broke the kiss and began to pepper light kisses into Patton’s neck causing him to moan, a sound that will now be forever ingrained in his mind.  As Logan backed up and eagerly took Patton’s shirt off and began to kiss down his chest and stomach, the two both froze as Patton’s door slammed open.

“Patton did you tak- HOLY HELL!”

Logan quickly stood up so Patton could hide behind him, and immediately put his hands over his crotch.

“Jesus Christ you two, learn to lock your doors!” Roman exclaimed covering his eyes.

“You BROKE my door this morning remember!! It won’t lock now!” Patton yelled back right next to Logan’s ear. “Sorry.” He whispered.

“Oh. Right. My baaad.” Roman said standing in the doorframe. 

Logan cleared his throat “…. so can we help you with something, or?....”

“Oh! I just wanted to ask Patton a question!”

 “Well can it wait?!”

 “I-uh-yeah...sure!....sorry you two!” Roman said, quickly turning around and closing the door before yelling. “VIRGIL! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!”

Logan dropped his hands with a sigh of relief and turned back to face Patton. 

“Well Damn. Looks like we’ve been Rooster blocked.” Patton said breaking the silence.

 “We-we’ve been whAt?!” Logan laughed.

 He frowned. “Rooster blocked! You know, like when you’re getting sexy and you get interrupted! That’s how Virgil explained it to me!”

“Oh my god. Out of all the puns…” Logan smiled and put his head in his hands, feeling how warm his face was. “Patton do you know what another word for Rooster is?”

Patton’s frown deepened. “No, why?”

Logan couldn’t help but begin to giggle at the absurdity that was Patton. “A Rooster can also be called a Cock. So we weren’t Rooster blocked, we were-”

“COCK-BLOCKED!!” Patton yelled loudly, laughing at the pun. “That makes a lot more sense.”

Logan smiled fondly at Patton, wondering how he got so lucky that this goofball wanted to be with him. He broke out of his haze as he heard Patton speak to him.

“So...do you want to press play on our most recent adventure, or keep it paused for now?” Patton asked shyly. How he could act so innocent at one time and so forceful the next, was one of Logan's most difficult puzzles to solve.

Logan gulped and looked down to see his body still reacting strongly to Patton and clearly wanting to continue, but his mind said the opposite. “Let’s um… could we press pause? Is that ok?”

Patton did his best not to be disappointed at Logan’s response. However, there was no way in hell he was going to listen to his body’s desires over his mind’s. “Of course it’s okay Logan. We can continue this whenever you feel more comfortable.” Patton said softly.

“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable!” Logan clarified. “It’s just…”

“Overwhelming?” Patton suggested.

Logan smiled. “Yeah. Overwhelming. I just got caught up in the moment and didn’t really think about what I was doing.”

“Did…did you not want this?” Patton asked worriedly, fearing he had pushed Logan into it. 

Logan growled. “No I did!! I mean I do!! Very much so!! Can we just ...talk about this later? My brains not functioning very well at the moment, and I’d like some time to think about what happened. And what I'd like to happen next.” He added to make a point to Patton, that he did want this to happen. Just maybe not this second.

 “Of course. Can I give you a farewell kiss?”

 “Patton I’m only walking over to my room. …But I suppose that would be alright.” 

Patton softly kissed Logan on the lips, hyper aware of his body and forcing it to play nice.

 Logan smiled as Patton pulled away. “Thanks Pat.”

 “Welcome Lo.”

 “Oh and...you don’t need to ask to kiss me anymore.” Logan added. “I trust that if I say stop you’ll stop. Plus...I wouldn’t mind a surprise kiss once in a while.” He confessed blushing.

 Patton smiled wide at the statement. “Okay. Well, same applies to me.” He whispered.

 Logan turned to leave, but not before awkwardly trying to figure out the best way to hold his hands in front of him to cover up his crotch.

 Patton smiled at the sight amused when something clicked. “Oh! Wait!” He walked to his closet and pulled out his old cardigan. “Use this.”

 Logan’s eyes went wide as he was handed Patton’s cardigan. His face seemed to grow rapidly redder as he continued to stare at the piece of fabric.

 “Logan?” Patton asked curiously.

 “ _Fuck Patton._ The things you do to me…” Logan whispered to himself as he hastily held the cardigan in front of his jeans, and walked out the door.

The moment Logan left, Patton ran to his bathroom and jumped in the shower to either help him calm down or to take care of his problem. He really doesn’t know yet.

 Meanwhile, Roman was having a crisis of his own.

 “Virgil!! I’ve been traumatized!! I must speak with you!” Roman called outside Virgil’s door.

 “Does this have anything to do with Patton and Logan?” Virgil answered through the door.

 “Maaaaaybe.”

“NOPE!” Virgil exclaimed. “I don’t want to hear it! Not now, not ever!”

“But...but… I gotta tell someone!!” Roman whined.

“Go find Sleep! You know he’ll listen!”

Roman gasped. “He will! Thanks Virge!” 

Roman took out his phone and called Sleep. There was no sense in looking in his room because, ironically, he’s never there.

The phone rang a couple times before a grumbled voice picked up. “This better be good bitch, I was finally getting some rest!” 

“It’s noon.”

“I know I just laid down!”

“Well my apologies, I simply wanted to talk…about some drama.” Roman added on knowing that would entice him.

There was a pause. “Alright girl, I’ll bite. What or who is the drama about?” 

Roman began to giggle, happy he finally had someone to talk to. “Patton & Logan!”

“Ooooh are those two gays finally getting frisky?” Sleep asked sounding much more awake and interested.

“Ew. But yes! Virgil doesn’t want to talk about it with me, and I need to spill!”

“Trouble in paradise? Oh wait, you hoes haven’t confessed yet have you? Alright, come down to my room and we’ll dish! You best bring some Starbucks with you or else I’m going back to bed. ...I mean, I’m gonna do it anyway the minute you hang up, but you can wake me up when you bring the coffee.”

“Wait you’re actually in your room?”

“I know right?! I may not do my job a lot, but this bed sure does like getting laid on! Aaaaaaah I’m such a slut.” Sleep said happily. “Alright, bring the Starbucks. Byyyyye.”

Roman heard the phone click, and put his phone back in his pocket. He then realized he didn’t know what Sleep wanted from Starbucks, so he just ordered the most basic™ drink he could think of.

Sleep’s room was on a separate floor from the other sides due to his being wide awake at ungodly times of the night, and generally doing his job randomly throughout the day. The sides didn’t hang out too much with him either, since he liked to go out and constantly party, along with just leaving for days at a time. He was his own Independent man, and always did his own thing. When he was around however, he was an amazing friend to have. He’d always make it feel like you were the only star in the sky, and would bring the best stories to the table.

Roman walked downstairs and quietly opened Sleep’s door. Just as he said, he was asleep drooling on his bed. Roman set the Starbucks down on his nightstand and gently shook him to wake him up. When he didn’t move, Roman shook him a little harder. 

“Cash me ousside, how bow dat?” He said in an almost adorably-threateningly way as he woke up. He turned to see Romans excited face looming over him just to roll back over and snuggle further into his bed. Roman frowned for a moment when he heard Sleep mumble.

“You got the goods?”

“Do I have the - Jesus man it’s coffee not cocaine!”

“Eh - tomayto, tomahto.” He sat up in his bed eyes still closed, as he made grabby hands out in front of him.

Roman rolled his eyes wondering how there was someone in Thomas’ mind that was even more extra than he was. But, he put up with him anyway because he was so fun to be around. He placed the coffee in his hands, and Sleep immediately took a long drink from it groaning in pleasure. 

“Geeze man, are you having sex with it or drinking it?” Roman asked teasingly. Sleep turned to him and looked him dead in the eyes. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.” He dead-panned.

Romans eyes widened in shock, because there was an image he never wanted to flash in his mind again. 

“Alright, let’s get this party started.” Sleep said smiling, looking much more awake and happy now. “Spill baby. SPILL.”

Roman shook his head and began to wiggle on Sleep’s bed excitedly. “Okay, how much do you already know?”

“Patton and Logan are finally dating, Deceit is pain’s bitch at the moment, Depression is nowhere in sight (thank fuck for that), and you and Virgil still won’t admit you like each other. How’s that?”

“How...how do you know all that?” Roman asked impressed.

“I’ve got my sources.” Sleep winked. “Alright, so what’s the big drama?”

“HOLY SHIT! Ok so Patton gave Logan this really fucking cute gift an-“

“Hold up! What was the gift?”

“Oh. A crown, a sash (my old sash) with ‘my hero’ written on it, and a fake sword with a quote Logan said to Thomas.”

Sleep paused for a moment. “Fuck. That _is_ cute. What did the sword say?”

“I-I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention to it! I was more distracted when Logan threw himself on Patton!”

“Ooooh shit’s getting good now!” 

“Right?! So Patton had come downstairs and saw all of us laughing with Logan about his gift - not because it was bad, but because it made Logan happy and silly, and that was fun to see. So Patton thought it was because the gift was bad, but before I could explain, Logan went straight over to him and holy fuck. He like weaved his hands through Patton’s hair and then kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Like, Jesus it was hot.” 

“I knew he could get it.” Sleep said smugly. “Ok, so what happened next?”

“So Logan followed Patton upstairs and I didn’t think anything of it because I was too focused on Virgil, and-” 

*cough cough* “gay” *cough cough* 

“Anyway, when talking to Virgil I realized that the sash Patton used for Logan’s gift was my old one!”

“Bitch, he did not.”

“He did! So I went upstairs to confront him and Logan was ON HIS FUCKING KNEES kissing Patton’s stomach, clearly having something more planned in line!”

Sleep fanned himself. “Whew! Damn! Those boys can get it!”

“Right?!” Roman said feeling flushed. “I mean I’m not into them, but hell if it wasn’t hot.”

“Got a voyeuristic kink do you?” Sleep winked causing Roman to flush a deep red. “Oooh you do! Boyyyy, yo-”

Sleep got very quiet all of a sudden looking down at his Starbucks cup.

“Sleep?” Roman asked concerned.

“This bitch empty.” He whispered. 

“Wha- oh god.” 

“YEET!” Sleep yelled as he threw the empty Starbucks cup into his trash can.

Roman dropped his head in his hands as he laughed at Sleep.

“So wh-“

“Nope!” Sleep interrupted. “My coffee's gone, which means your time’s up babe.”

“Aw c'mon!” Roman pleaded.

“Sorry girl. Call me when you and Virgil finally figure your whole thing out. Or if Patton goes ape-shit on Deceit again. I wanna record that.” He said literally pushing Roman off his bed with his feet and snuggling back in his covers.

_Damn._

Roman quietly walked out of Sleep’s room heading back upstairs to his own. He almost walked past Virgil’s room in the hallway, still smiling about his conversation with Sleep, when a hand shot through the door grabbed his collar and yanked him inside.

“Damn! What was that about?” Roman asked Virgil confused.

Virgil was pacing back and forth tears in his eyes. 

“Woah, woah what’s wrong? What happened?” Roman asked leading Virgil to join him on the bed to talk.

Virgil paused before looking worriedly at Roman. “Everything’s going to change now isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...Patton and Logan!! I’m happy they’re together because that makes them happy, but things are going to get awkward aren’t they? And then we’re going to have to pretend that it’s not awkward! And...and what if they decide they don’t want to be around us anymore? What if they only want to be around each other?!? What if th-”

“Virgil, what brought this up? You know Patton loves you and there is no way he would ever leave you or me! Plus, as much Logan enjoys Patton, I’m sure he’ll want to talk to us too! What...what’s going on here? You know this!”

Virgil began to cry harder. “But what if they _change?!?_ I don’t want to lose them Roman! I don-wa-”

Virgil began to see black splotchy spots in his eyes, as he became extremely light-headed and almost blacked out due to hyperventilation. He nearly fell back on his bed before feeling a strong arm catch him, and could vaguely hear multiple concerned voices in his room. He would assume correctly that Roman had sunk out to grab the other two for support, but he wasn’t sure if what he was hearing was real. It all sounded like background noise. Like he was sinking and could just barely hear the voices above. One voice did seem to break through the fog though.

“Virgil? Kiddo? Dads here.” Patton said quietly sitting next to him on his bed. 

Virgil immediately turned to Patton and curled into his arms. He began to mumble into Patton's chest, as Patton began to gently rock him back and forth while running his hand calmly through his hair, quietly murmuring comforting words back to him.

“What happened?” Logan asked concerned.

“I’m not sure. I was just walking by and he pulled me and began panicking!”

Logan nodded listening to the information and trying to decipher what the cause of this reaction was.

“He’s been acting more antsy than normal today too. He was shaking when he opened Patton’s present, and shook when we were talking alone after that. I thought it was just the topic we were talking about that made him act that way but now I’m no-” 

Logan lifted his head up quickly surprising Roman enough to stop talking. “I believe I know.” He said confidently. 

“And?”

“Follow me. We need to talk to Thomas.” Logan said as he began to sink out of the room and into the family room. Roman was still confused, but followed nonetheless.

As they arrived in the family room, Logan began to shout Thomas’ name. While it was extremely easy for Thomas to call everyone down, it was much harder to make Thomas summon them. Roman joined in after a moment, when Thomas appeared before them.

“What the hell you guys? Joan’s here! I had to tell them to leave the house and grab some pizza for us so they didn’t get suspicious! What is so important?”

“Thomas.” Logan said sternly. “When was the last time you took your meds?”

Thomas’ eyes went wide and looked at the floor quickly as if he was caught.

“I’d been doing so well!! I thought…” He tapered off quietly.

“Thomas.” Logan said in a tone he rarely used with him. It was the type of tone he would use as if he was explaining the concept of death to a child. He spoke softly and kindly in a way that wouldn’t belittle them or make them feel dumb, but strongly enough to get the point across.

“You are smarter than this. _We_ are smarter than this. You’ve been doing better because of the medicine. If you take that away your going to revert back to before.”

“I just...am I going to have to do this the rest of my life? Just to feel normal?” Thomas asked sounding tired. “I don’t want to have to constantly take meds.” 

“No one does Thomas. But it is a necessary thing you must do for the betterment of yourself. For example, I have to wear glasses everyday. Does it get tiring when I occasionally forget where I set them down? Of course! But without them my life gets harder. The first day or two without them may feel like I’m doing alright. Like I can vaguely see a little better since I’d been wearing them. But the longer I’m without them, the quicker I revert back to the way it was before I had glasses. Constant headaches, squinting, having a difficult time reading, feeling more tired than average, etc. So, even though I have days when I really want to avoid putting them on, I do it anyway.”

Thomas nodded, as he understood the point Logan made. He still didn’t like it, but it made more sense the way Logan explained it.

“Alright.” He said defeated. “I’ll keep taking them.”

“Good. But I still need to know. When was the last time you took them?”

“Um, I didn’t take them this morning or yesterday morning.”

“Very well.” Logan smiled. “I need you to take them now though.”

“But it’s almost one!” Thomas pointed out. “I’m supposed to take them in the morning.”

“Yes but timewise, we are closer to this morning than tomorrow morning. Therefore you need to take them now, instead of waiting to take them tomorrow.”

“Alright, I will.” Thomas agreed. 

Logan stared at Thomas patiently. 

“Wait now?” Thomas asked bewildered. “You’re really going to make me take them in front of you?”

“Yes.” Logan said firmly. “I will stay here until you take them, even if that risks exposing that we’re actually real to Joan.”

Thomas’ face quickly got alarmed before he scrambled into the kitchen to grab the pill bottle and a glass of water. He speedwalked back into the family room, took out a pill and quickly swallowed it with some water. “You happy?” Thomas said vaguely annoyed. 

“Indeed.” Logan said as he began to sink down back into Virgil's Room.

Roman stared at Thomas for a moment opening his mouth as if he had something to add, but quickly closed it and followed Logan back.

As they rose up in Virgil’s room they saw Patton standing up and tucking Virgil in his bed who had fallen asleep. Patton leaned over to place a soft kiss on Virgil’s head, before looking at the other sides and placed his finger on his lips. He gestured to the door so the other two would follow him out to talk about what just happened.

“...so his reaction was because Thomas _didn’t_ take his medicine?”

“It would seem so. While we were all concerned Thomas would hurt Virgil if he began to take medication, none of us considered that stopping it could be harmful as well.”

“Roman?” Patton asked turning to face him. “What was he so worried about? I only heard him say ‘please don’t leave’ and ‘I can be better’”

Roman clutched his heart, hearing that those words came out of Virgil's mouth. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Patton glanced at Logan in confusion only to receive the same look back. “Of- of course I’d like to know. It’s Virgil.”

Roman took Logan’s shoulders and moved him to stand side by side next to Patton. He took a deep breath. “He’s scared of you two.”

“Of us?!” Patton said panicked. “What do you mean?”

“Not of you physically, but of your new relationship. He was scared that you two will grow disinterested in him and only pay attention to each other. That you’ll no longer want interact with us at all.” 

“Well that’s preposterous.” Logan spoke before Patton. “In a healthy relationship, the two people are not ‘one person’ they are individuals. They need to have friends of their own to rely on and talk to.” He turned to Patton. “Patton, I greatly enjoy your company, but I hope you understand that.”

“Of course Lo! We both need time to ourselves. There’s no way in hell I’d ever stop being friends with Virgil or Roman. I’d rather break up! I don’t want to by the way I’m-”

“I know what you mean Patton.” Logan said smiling. “And I’d applaud you for doing so.” The two smiled at each other fondly for a moment before turning back to Roman. “Was there anything else?”

“No. That’s all he talked about. I think I scared him into overdrive when I tried to tell him what I walked in on with you two.”

Logan and Patton shared a quick glance grinning at each other, then the floor as they both began to blush bright red.

Logan cleared his throat after forcing himself to look back up. “Yes, well we will make sure nothing like that ever happens again.” When Logan turned to see fear quickly flash through Patton’s face, he clarified. “By that I mean we will be much more careful to conceal our activities from the two of you. However, knocking is a good habit to pick up.” He said looking directly at Roman.

Roman coughed. “Yes, well again, apologies.” 

The three stayed quiet for a couple moments.

“Well should we leave him be?” Patton asked softly.

“I believe so.” Logan said before turning to walk away. 

“WAit!” Roman whispered loudly. “I-I don’t think we should.”

“What do you mean?” 

Roman fiddled with his thumbs before turning to look at Logan, hoping he could telepathically read his mind. When Logan just stared at him confused, he sighed and clarified. “Patton….I know Virgil’s secret.”

“You what?!” Patton growled growing angry. “You were supposed to wait unti-” 

“Pat.” Logan quietly interrupted, moving to hold one of Patton’s now clenched fists in his hand. “Roman overheard us last night when we talked to Virgil. He didn’t intentionally spy on him.”

Patton’s body visibly relaxed as Logan’s words and as his continued hand holding calmed him down. He took a deep breath. “Ok. You know his secret. What about it?”

Roman looked frightened for a moment at the sudden surge of anger Patton had. “I merely meant that...Thomas hasn’t taken his meds lately. I don’t want him to wake up and-“ 

“Use his unhealthy coping skill.” Logan put it delicately.

Patton almost broke down at the thought. “So what can we do?”

“I thought….maybe just staying in his room, while he’s asleep? That way, when he wakes up we’ll be there to prevent him from that action.”

“I do believe that is a good idea Roman. I’m impressed.” Logan admitted. “That way, it’ll comfort Virgil in knowing we still care about him, that Patton and I still want to be around him, and to prevent him from any harm.”

Patton softened. “Alright. I like that plan. Let’s do it.” Roman quietly opened the door and walked through, but as Logan began to follow, he was turned around by Patton and given a soft peck on his cheek. “Thank you for calming me down.” Patton whispered in his ear. 

Logan felt his heart jump at the quiet thanks  Patton had given him and returned the gesture. “Of course.” he murmured.

The two walked back into Virgil’s room and joined Roman on the floor at the base of Virgil’s bed. Patton leaning his head and still wet hair onto Logan’s shoulder, Roman leaning against Virgil’s bed scrolling through tumblr to keep his mind busy, and Logan closing his eyes, trying to clear his mind for meditation. The three sat content, happy to be there for Virgil: Waiting for him to wake up to smother him with their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo what’s the opposite of a writers block? Cause I got hit with that hard!
> 
> I’m also considering writing a separate piece/pieces on the more explicit adventures of the couples. So if anyone’s actually interested in that be sure to let me know. Hopefully the little upstairs scene wasn’t too cringey. 
> 
> Anyway like always, I’d love to hear what you guys think! It seriously motivates me to write more! :D 
> 
> *sigh* I love you guys all so much.


	16. Chapter 16

**STOP. PLEASE READ FIRST** : I’m sure if you’ve read up to this point you’re aware of the many emotional aspects in this story. That being said, this chapter is heavily filled with strong emotions. No one dies, or gets physically injured, BUT if you are in a negative space right now please, _please_ wait to read this until you feel safe. There is talk of self-harm and the emotions and reasoning behind it. Even as the author, I had to pause writing a few moments because it overwhelmed me. I may be vastly overreacting, but I’d rather you prepare yourself to read this first than get blindsided by it.

 

As Virgil woke up he could still feel his heart beating heavily in his chest. He mentally felt calmer, but his body didn’t really seem to care. He began to try and calm his body down by letting out slow breaths, but that didn’t stop tears from falling down his face.

“Virgil? You awake bud?” Virgil flinched at the noise as he was unaware he still had company in his room. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly to try to see through the tears. “Patton?” He whispered. “Yeah, I’m here kiddo. We’re all here.”

It took Virgil a moment to comprehend what Patton said, but when he did he groaned and cradled his face in his hands, feeling extremely embarrassed at his attack.

“M’sorry. You all shouldn’t hav-”

“Now you stop that talk right now.” Logan interrupted. Virgil assumed Patton would be the one to say something like that, so much so that the surprise stopped his tears for the moment.

“If Roman had broken a leg, or if Patton was sick, all of us would be in their room to comfort them, just are we are in yours to comfort you. You had an attack. We are here to support you in the aftermath. You are not being anymore of a burden than it would be to help someone who was physically injured.”

Virgil sat up slowly feeling his head pound, as he tried to let that sink in.

“How are you feeling?” Roman asked softly.

“Sore, embarrassed, and confused. I haven’t had an attack like that in a while. What happened?”

“Thomas chose not to take his medication yesterday or today until an hour ago. That would explain why you’ve been feeling more on edge today than you were this past week.” Logan explained.

That cleared things up. He was confused as to why he was so nervous this morning, so this made sense. “Well I am feeling a little better, so you guys can leave.”

Virgil watched the other three share quick glances with each other before turning back to him.

“Before we do, why don't you explain to us what you were afraid of that started the attack?” Logan asked.

“I’m surprised Roman didn’t already tell you.”

“He did. But I’d like to hear it from you.”

“It’s just...change.”

Patton nodded encouragingly.

Virgil sighed. “Look, I’m thrilled you two are together. That you make each other happy.”

“But?”

“But now it’s different! You two will want to be all ‘lovey-dovey’ with each other and won’t want to be around Roman! ...or me.”

“Well that’s a load of shit.” Logan said harshly.

“What?”

“Honestly Virgil, do you really think I would want to be ‘lovey-dovey’ with Patton for the rest of my life?”

Virgil & Roman stared in shock at Logan, then turned to see Patton biting his lip harshly as his eyes rapidly filled with tears.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!”

“APOLOGIZE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!”

Logan looked confused at the two’s reaction and turned to see Patton trying to quietly get up and walk away.

“WAIT! Patton that’s not what I meant!!” He said loudly as he realized how that could have been taken. He grabbed Patton’s hand and pulled him back down towards him. Patton was jolted back to his spot where Logan physically took Patton’s arms, put them around his waist, and leaned Patton’s head onto his chest. His breathing had increased tenfold as he scared himself with his emotional response. “That’s not what I meant.” He whispered quietly.

He continued to breathe heavily until he felt Patton’s head nod against his chest. He was surprised at how much he physically relaxed at the small movement.

“I-” Logan tried to begin, but stopped as he got choked up. He was intensely confused at his reaction and paused to try to regain his composure. He felt Patton kiss his chest softly in comfort and heard him quietly murmer “It’s ok Lo. Take your time.” Hearing this, he let out a dry sob and slapped his hand to his mouth to try to cover it up. He felt Patton begin to rub his back, and try to burrow deeper into Logan's chest. He took some quick shallow breaths until he could breathe at a normal rate again. Once he felt much calmer he placed a soft kiss in Patton’s hair. His heart clenched at the moment, but he was able to stay calm.

He cleared his throat and looked back at Roman and Virgil to see shocked and concerned faces looking back at him. He slowly released a breath.

“Apologies. What I was trying to convey, which I did so poorly, was that I’m not very good with emotions.” He chuckled. “As you can clearly see. And being constantly emotional - _only_ emotional, with Patton would be bad for the both of us. I have a limit of how much emotion I can handle. And while with Patton that limit is growing, I wouldn’t be able to always be emotional with him. I need you and Roman. _Especially_ you Virgil, to keep me on the more steady side of things. I hope that clarifies my previous statement. I never meant to imply that I didn’t want to spend my life with Patton. Intentionally or unintentionally. I-”

Logan turned to look at Patton who was now looking up at him from his arms.

 _I...I love him. I_ **_LOVE_ ** _him. Like…love-love him…I’ve always known I loved him, but this is...an emotionally charged love. It’s different. It’s_ _scary_ _._

Logan stopped. “I must go.” He gently took Patton’s arms off of him, and stood up when Patton leaned his head out of his chest.

“Apologies.” He said looking distressed as he walked out of Virgil’s room.

Roman and Virgil both looked at Patton.

“Aren’t you going to go after him?” Roman asked incredulously.

Patton looked surprised. “No. Were...were you not listening? Or paying attention?!”

Roman looked at Patton confused, as he had thought he would have immediately jumped up and tried to stop Logan from leaving.

Patton smiled sadly. “He just had an extremely emotional reaction. Having me come over and try to help him, would be counterproductive as I would only add to his emotions. He needs to calm down for a moment. Once he is feeling more calm, I’ll talk to him. I’d say right now he’s on an 8 out of 10 on his emotional scale. I would just push him over if I went to him now.  I need to wait until he’s 5 or lower.”

“Wow...Patton...you’re really smart you know that?” Roman asked surprised.

Patton smiled. “Yes, In fact I did know that.” He turned to face Virgil. “How are you doing now?”

“Better actually. Surprisingly, seeing Logan get emotional over the fact that he needs help to _not be_ emotional, made me feel like I was needed. Like...he relies on me. And knowing Logan, he wouldn’t push something away he relies on.” Virgil chuckled. “Actually, when you talk to Logan, let him know that for probably the first time in his life, him being emotional was incredibly helpful in this situation.”

Patton chuckled. “Will do. Now do you want us to hang around any longer? Or are you alright alone?”

Virgil smiled. “I think I'm alright Patton. But um…” he turned to Roman. “Would you be willing to stay and talk with me? I...had something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh! Of course Virge.” Roman said kindly.

Patton’s smile grew wide seeing the two in front of him. “Alright well, you know where to find me.” Patton said standing up and placing a soft kiss on Virgil’s head. He walked out the door and quietly closed it.

Roman cleared his throat awkwardly. “So,-”

Roman was interrupted when he heard a rapping at the door. Virgil turned to him confused. “Come in?”

The door opened a bit and Patton’s head peeked through.

“Before I forget - Roman?”

“Yes?”

“....that was called knocking.”

Virgil let out a loud laugh as Roman turned pink and Patton smiled and closed the door once more.

Virgil smiled wide “I love that dork.”

“Yeah I suppose I do as well.” Roman agreed. “So..um..”

“Oh!” Virgil said remembering why he wanted to him stay in the first place. “I just...wanted to say thank you. For listening to me, and being with me  during my attack.”

Roman nodded before stopping in thought. “Why did you choose to talk to _me_ before your attack?”

“You were nearby.” Virgil said flatly.

“Oh.”

“And, you know...you grow on people.”

“Awww!”

“...like a fungus.”

(Offended Princey noises)

Virgil chuckled and took a deep breath. “I...I want to tell you.”

Roman look confused and then sighed in realization. “Virgil. You really don’t have to.”

“I know. But I want to….I’m ready.” Virgil said confidently.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Roman looked at Virgil with concern, but nodded when he saw Virgil didn’t look as nervous or fearful about what he was going to do as he did before.

“Ok. Only if you’re sure.”

Virgil took a deep breath and released it slowly to gain his confidence. He turned to look at Roman.

Silently he began to remove hoodie, pausing for a moment before revealing his arms. After his hoodie was completely off, he held out his arms, palms up, to show Roman his scars.

Roman gasped harshly at the sight.

“I….I cut myself. When I get too overwhelmed and upset. I-it can be easier to focus on physical pain than the emotional pain.” Virgil admitted feeling a wave of shame fall over him as it did once before.

He squeezed his eyes shut preparing for a long speech on how he shouldn’t be harming himself, and how he’s hurting Thomas and the other sides by doing this. He didn’t expect to feel Romans hands on his arms.

He inhaled sharply. Roman removed his hands quickly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just... so much worse than I imagined.” He whispered.

Virgil sighed. “I know. It’s jus-” he stopped. “What do you mean worse than you imagined?”

Roman felt his breathing stop for a couple seconds.

**_Shit._**

“I...I overheard you. Yesterday.” He finally admitted. He felt better finally telling Virgil that, but immediately worse when he saw his reaction.

“You...you knew?! You..” Virgil growled as he yanked back his arms and folded them to hide his scars. “Why? Why lie to me and say you didn’t hear?!!”

Roman froze confused for a moment. “Wha- no! I didn’t hear earlier yesterday! I heard _after_ our fight! I was in my room when I heard you outside your door. I opened my door to apologize again, but you were talking to Patton and Logan. I almost closed it until I heard Logan ask if you would hurt yourself if they left you alone. I...I didn’t mean to betray your trust. I’m sorry.”

Virgil began to put his hoodie back on angrily. “Why wait to tell me?! Just to make me look like an idiot?!” He asked fiercely.

“NO! Because you weren’t ready to tell me!” Roman explained. “Wouldn’t you have been angrier if you found out before you were ready to tell me?”

“Well Yeah but… wait.” Virgil realized. All the cogs in his brain finally began to turn. “Is...is that why you’ve been acting so weird?! Cutting my food for me? And what, you thought if I dropped Patton’s mug I’d use the pieces to cut myself?”

“Yes I know, I’m sorry it’s just-” Roman stopped abruptly for a moment as something caught his eye. He walked over to Virgil’s bathroom and picked up the object on the bathroom counter. “Is...is this it? Is this what you use?” He asked heartbroken.

“Yeah.” Virgil admitted seething anger.

Roman looked down. In his hands he was holding an X-acto knife that he was confident he had lost a while ago. “But this is for creating… it’s supposed to help someone create something beautiful and artistic. It’s not supposed to _hurt_ someone who _is_ beautiful and artistic.”

“Well it’s a good thing it doesn’t.” Virgil chuckled darkly.

Roman looked at him fiercely before placing the blade on his skin. “Wait, wh-what are you doing?!” He continued to stare at Virgil as he began to put light pressure on the blade making an indent in his skin, but not hard enough to draw blood. “StoP IT, STOP IT!!!” Virgil yelled panicked. “THIS ISN'T HELPING!!!”

Roman lifted the blade up away from his skin and set it back down on the bathroom counter. He walked slowly over to Virgil. “I am your equal Virgil. I am no more beautiful and artistic than you are. So if it’s not hurting you, it’s not going to hurt me.”

“Okay, okay I get your point! I shouldn’t talk bad about myself!” Virgil gritted his teeth and glared angrily at Roman. “You don’t think I know that?! I know I shouldn’t talk bad about myself! I know I shouldn’t cut myself when I get upset! I KNOW!!! But it doesn’t change the fact that I still want to! Knowing what I’m doing is wrong doesn’t help me! It just makes me angrier!! It makes me feel worse! It just proves that somehow, I’m so fucking messed up my brain even thinks I’m stupid for doing what I’m doing. I feel stupid for knowing I’m doing something stupid, and can’t seem to stop it!! Don’t make me feel like I’m hurting you too!!”

Romans face fell apart. “I’m sorry, I was just-”

“Trying to help, I know. But that was a shitty move even for you.”

“Well what _can_ I do?” Roman asked desperately.

“You can _leave_.”

Romans heart stopped as he looked at Virgil.

“Is that really what you want? Would that help?”

“YES.”

“Alright. I’ll leave tonight. Just let me say goo-“

“NOT FOREVER YOU FUCKWAD. JUST LEAVE MY ROOM FOR _NOW_!”

“Oh.” Roman said embarrassed yet relieved. “Fine. But I’m taking this with me.” He said as he picked up the knife.

“I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, JUST LEAVE!”

Roman quickly exited the door turning around. “I’m sor-” the door slammed loudly in his face before he could finish. “-ry.”

He looked down at the knife in his hands and felt tears roll down his face.

“Are you ok?”

Roman turned to the side to see Patton sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall next to the door.

“Did you hear all that?”

“Yes. Do you want to talk kiddo?”

Roman nodded and sat down next to Patton. He leaned his head on his shoulder as he felt Patton’s arms hug him. They felt strong, safe, and protective. Which reminded him..

“Hey Patton?”

“Yeah kiddo?”

“How are you so strong?”

Patton laughed which caused Roman to smile.

“Thomas has a strong heart with strong emotions. I represent that.”

“Hm. That does actually make sense.” Roman agreed.

There was a peaceful silence between the two of them for a moment. But Roman was still in pieces.

“How can I help him?” Roman asked Patton desperately. “What can I do? I-I want to take all his pain away! I want to bare his scars, and carry his pain so he doesn’t have to. I want him to be happy.”

“I know Roman. That’s what I want too.” He said reassuringly. “But as much as we’d like to do that, we can’t.”

“So how can I help?” Roman whispered.

“We help him by being there when he needs us. We let him know that we are here when he’s feeling upset. That we can help him avoid hurting himself. We can't treat him like a fragile doll ready to break. He is extremely strong.”

“But if he’s so strong why does he have to hurt himself?” Roman asked. There was no malice in his statement, just a tad naivety. It’s not like he was immune to pain. He’s been heartbroken and devastated too. But he couldn’t wrap his mind around why someone would want to harm themselves!

Patton’s arms squeezed Roman tighter. “He is not weak for hurting himself Roman. He is using what tools he has around him to fight his battles. His heart cannot bear all his pain alone, so he’s settled for using physical tactics to help him carry it.” Patton opened his arms and sat Roman up. He paused deep in thought before making a decision. “I want to show you something Roman. But this would be very difficult for you to handle, so I need to know that you would be ok with it.”

Roman looked confused but nodded. Patton smiled but pressed further. “I’m sorry Roman but I need a verbal confirmation. I haven’t done this with any other side, and what I’m about to do will most likely hurt you. I’ll be here for you after, but I need to hear you say it’s ok.”

Roman looked at Patton nervously. “What are you going to do to me?”

“If you’re willing, I’m going to transfer some of my stronger emotions to you, just for a moment, so you can fully understand what it feels like.”

Roman thought for a moment. “Okay. I’m ready.”

“Are you sure? I need you to be absolutely positive.”

Roman sat up straighter bracing himself. “Yes. I am.” He said confidently.

“Alright. I’m here. I’m right here next to you. I’m right here.” Patton said grounding him before placing two fingers on Romans forehead.

Roman felt a tidal wave of emotion course through his body. Every _ounce_ , every _atom_ of him _hurt._ **_Deeply._ ** He couldn’t breathe - he had to be drowning. He couldn’t do this, he needed out! He needed OUT!! He was going to die! _Make it stop!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD **MAKE IT STOP**! **HELP**!! _ **_HE-_ **

And just like that the emotion was gone. He gasped harshly and began to shake and ball his eyes out.

“I’m right here Roman, I’m right here. Shhh. Sweetheart it’s Ok, I'm here. I love you, I’m here.” Patton said strongly hugging Roman into his chest. Roman dug his nails into Patton's back to hold on for dear life. He continued to shake and cry and take large gulps of air, because that’s all he could do at the moment.

After a while Roman was able to breathe normally again. The tears continued to fall down his face as he was still overwhelmed with what just happened.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

“Wh-what wa-as that-t?!” Roman asked as his body seemed to ache from the phantom emotions.

Patton got quiet. “That was one of my worst days with Depression.” He said softly.

“H-how?! How can you handle that?! I just wanted it to be over! I-I wanted to claw my skin off! Do _something_ to stop the pain! Anyth-”

Roman paused as the last puzzle piece finally snapped in its place. “That’s why?” He asked quietly.

“Yes sweetie. That’s why.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! *chuckles awkwardly * I apologize for any damage done to ones feels :(
> 
> *sigh* A lot of these emotions come from personal experiences. I’ve dealt with severe depression multiple times before, along with participating in self-harm for a short period of time. Many people, like Roman, have a difficult time truly understanding how one can get to a point where self-harm seems like a good idea. I did my best to explain that feeling and reasoning and put it into words. Don’t be alarmed for me though. I am in a much better mental place now than I’ve been in before.
> 
> And if this has triggered any of you despite the warning, please look for someone to talk to. I’m here too if you want to message me. That being said I won’t be able to respond to you immediately. Please take that into consideration.
> 
> On that note, please feel free to leave any comments! And Let me know if I massively overexaggerated the emotional aspect of this chapter. Maybe I’m just too sensitive...
> 
> I know this isn’t as cheerful of a chapter as my others, but...I felt it was needed. 
> 
> I love you guys. Stay safe.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summery of Chapter 16 for those who skipped it due to the warning: After Virgil woke the sides reassured him there was no reason to feel ashamed. During this Logan implied he didn’t want to be romantic with Patton for the rest of his life. After being yelled at he shocked himself with an emotional reaction to this information. He left the room when he realized he truly loved Patton. Patton followed shortly after to give Roman and Virgil time to talk. Virgil admitted he does harm himself and showed Roman his scars, and Roman let the fact that he already knew slip out. Virgil yelled at Roman for treating him so fragile and kicked him out of his room. Roman turned to find that Patton was outside the door and had overheard everything. While Patton and Roman talked about the best way to help Virgil, Roman admitted he didn’t understand how someone can come to the point to harm themselves. Patton pointed out that it was not weakness to do this, and with Romans consent, transferred some of his stronger emotions to him for a moment so he could understand the overwhelming feeling that can lead to that result. After experiencing that surge of painful emotions, Roman understood just how one could get to the point to harm themselves.

**Warning for Chapter 17** : This chapter is much less emotionally overwhelming, but does contain a PTSD flashback. That being said, it is more of a description of the attack and not personally experiencing what the victim is seeing, hearing, or feeling of the flashback itself. As the author, I find it important to stress that I have not been diagnosed with PTSD, despite having symptoms pertaining to it. I have never personally had a flashback myself, or have seen one in person. Because of this I cannot fully portray the depth and intensity one feels during a flashback. I have done research on what it’s like and how to help, but I have never experienced one. If you are uncomfortable with my portrayal, feel I’ve gotten something wrong, or have had a different experience with PTSD, please feel free to inform me in the comments below so I can learn and become a better author with this knowledge in the future. Thank you for reading. Be safe.

 

Virgil was fuming. He was finally able to open up, finally able to admit his shameful secret. And what did Roman do? That fucker told him he already knew! _He thought every sharp object I’d find I would cave! It's not like every moment, of every day, I’m in agony trying to cut myself for relief. I can handle the pain most days. But sometimes…_

Virgil looked back to his bathroom longingly. Dammit Roman took the knife. Now more than ever did he want to use it. He could almost _feel_ his blood boiling in anger. _This...this is too much. Patton. Logan. I need one of them._

He swung open his door to hear the startled sounds of Patton and Roman next to him. He looked to see Patton hugging Roman as Roman was crying. _For shits sake he got that upset that I was angry with him? I mean understand but..no I’m still pissed at him. So Patton’s a no-go. Logan it is._

He stormed past the two not saying a word to Logan’s door. He didn’t really care about being polite at the moment he was too angry. So instead, he swung open Logan’s door hard enough to cause an indent in the wall. He turned to Logan to begin his tyrade of voodoo curses on Roman, but suddenly stopped. All of his anger quickly rushed from his body and was replaced with concern.

The image in front of him was one he’d never seen before. Logan was in tears, laying curled on his bed. “Logan?” Virgil said softly. Logan stiffened in fear before muttering. “Has no one ever heard of knocking?”

“What’s...what’s going on with you?”

“I don’t know!!” Logan said angrily, wiping his eyes as he sat up. “I’m just _feeling_ so much. I- I don’t want to talk about it. You’ve come in here with a purpose. How can I help.”

Virgil wanted to press him further on his issue but remembered that Logan just mentioned a little bit ago that he needed Virgil to stay on the calm side. So instead, he told Logan what happened.

“He knew Logan! Roman knew!!”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“Wha-you knew too?”

“Yes, he told me last night. I was the one who told him to wait until you were ready to tell him.”

Virgil couldn’t figure out how to feel with this new information.

“But why?”

Logan paused. “I believe I was going off my own personal experience.” He gestured to the spot next to him to get Virgil to sit. Virgil took the seat  hesitantly.

Logan took a deep breath. “Like I said earlier, I am not one who enjoys emotions. If I had found out that Patton knew I was harming myself all those years ago, I would have lost control. I like control. I like to decide who gets what information and at what time. If, for example, Patton had told me he knew before I was ready to tell him, I would’ve felt violated.”

“But I _do_ feel violated. Why couldn’t he have just waited until I was ready?” 

“Virgil. He tried.” Logan pointed out. “He found out accidentally. He came up to me after you fell asleep and I walked out of Patton’s room. He was...devastated - would be the word I’d use.”

Virgil looked down at his lap and began to shift on the bed feeling worse about being angry with him. 

“He believes he is behind the reason you harm yourself.”

Virgil snapped his head back up. “What? Why...why would he think that?”

“Well, one would come to that conclusion based off your interactions with him before we came to your room. He was very dismissive of your ideas, would call you names, and consistently state he didn’t like you.”

“Yeah but…” Virgil got very quiet. “He’s not the reason I started. Sure, maybe it got to a point one day when he’d push me over, but…He was never the reason..”

Virgil sat in silence as his mind to spiral. He began to think about the main reason he started… he hadn’t been thinking of it recently. He didn’t _want_ to think about it. His hands began to twitch.

“Virgil?” Logan asked concerned.

“I….I forgot. Why I started….and now I remember. Logan, how do I stop remembering?” Virgil whispered looking panicked. “I don’t want to think about it, it’s too...too much. Too much.” He began to rock back and forth. “I want it to go away…”

Logan began getting very concerned. He placed his hand on Virgil’s leg to comfort him, but his reaction...was not what he was expecting.

Virgil violently jumped up and walked backwards to a corner of Logan’s room, keeping his eyes on Logan the entire time. “Please. Please don’t. I don’t want to.” He whispered as he sunk down to the floor and rocked himself against the wall muttering.

Logan wasn’t sure if Virgil was aware of his surroundings anymore. He seemed to have  reverted back into a traumatic state. He was not able to help him in this situation. _Patton. Patton would know what to do._

He quickly opened his door and looked down the hall to find Roman in Patton’s arms. A spike of jealousy went through him, despite knowing full well Roman wasn’t a threat to their relationship.

“Patton.” Logan said in a firm voice. “I-We need you. Immediately please.”

Patton seemed to go into dad mode as he seemed to whisper something to Roman before he stood up and quickly ran over to Logan’s door.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure. Virgil seems to have gone into a state where he doesn’t know where he is. I believe he remembered a traumatic moment and can’t break free of it.” 

Patton nodded looking concerned but not panicked. He walked over to Virgil cautiously.

“Virgil? Virgil, it’s Patton. It’s your Dad. We’re in Logan’s room right now. I’m going to sit down in front of you now ok?”

Virgil’s eyes began to jump back and forth as he looked up and could see Patton in front of him. He couldn’t move other than his rocking or speak at the moment, but he saw him.

Patton slowly sat down in front of him, close, but not too close.

“Virgil kiddo. Would you like a hug? Would that help?”

Virgil’s eyes went frantic as he began to shake harder.

“That’s ok kiddo, that’s ok. I’m just going to talk to you for a bit okay? I think your having a flashback. But whatever your seeing or hearing, or experiencing at the moment isn’t happening now. It’s not real. Right now it’s 2:37pm, and we’re in Logan’s room. You know Logan. He can be stiff and firm and clinical sometimes, but between you and me? I think he’s one of the kindest men I know. He likes to eat Crofters jam. Right now he’s wearing a black polo and a blue tie. I’m Patton. You know me too. I’m wearing a blue polo, and a gray cat hoodie around my neck. Logan gave me this hoodie when I was sad. He didn’t want me to wear a cat onesie so he compromised. Can you look up at me Virge? Can you look to see the color on my shirt? It has a logo on it. Can you tell what it is?”

Virgil’s rocking began to slow for the moment as he lifted his head up slightly. He had to really, truly, focus, to see. _Blue. I see blue. And gray. And there’s a logo on dads shirt. What’s the logo? It’s a_

“Heart. Glasses.” Virgil mumbled out.

“Good Virge. That’s really good. I’d like you to try to follow my breathing ok? You taught me this breathing exercise. We’re going to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 6 seconds, and breathe out for 7 seconds ok? Just try to match my breathing.”

It took a while but Virgil was able to do it. His breathing began to slow, and the room seemed to become a little clearer. He could see that Patton cleared as well. He was still talking to him. Asking him to look at the colors of the walls and name them. Asking to describe the feel of the carpet underneath him. Asking him to count his fingers on his hand. After a long while Virgil finally felt like he was back. He was here with Patton. With his dad.

“Patton?” Virgil whispered.

“Hey kiddo. Do you want some water? Or a snack?” 

Virgil shook his head “C-can I have a hug?”

“Of course kiddo. For as long as you need.” Patton knee-walked closer to Virgil and hugged him hard. Not ‘can’t breathe hard’ but ‘your safe and protected’ hard.

He cradled him comfortingly as he whispered loving things into his ear.

As Logan was sitting on his bed watching the scenario in front of him, he had come to 3 important conclusions. First, Virgil had obviously gone through something traumatic enough to cause him to go into a state of fear. Second, Patton was _much_ stronger than what he had originally had thought. He was surprised at how calm he was during the whole ordeal as he personally, would have lost control in that situation. And lastly? He really did love Patton. And he was beginning to feel less scared about that.

“Virgil what can we do to help you? We don’t need to talk at all, we just want to be here for you.” 

“Just stay with me for a little while. ‘Till I feel better.”

“I can absolutely do that.” Patton said as he kissed Virgil’s head.

Once Virgil relaxed he had forgotten all about being angry with Roman. He was just enjoying being in the comforting arms of Patton. The three sat in silence for a bit before hearing Virgil’s stomach growl.

Patton chuckled. “You know kiddo, I do think it’s time to for _all_ of us to eat. Why don’t you head to the kitchen and Logan and I will be down soon ok?”

Virgil tensed for a moment. Upon feeling this Patton reassured him. “We’ll be down soon I promise. But you need to eat.”

Virgil breathed out and nodded. “Ok.” Patton stood up first and held out his hand. Virgil smiled and took it, pausing when he stood up as he was feeling a bit shaky from his second attack of the day. Virgil gave them both a small smile before walking out the door. Patton returned the smile, but almost immediately let it fall the moment Virgil walked away.

“I am so concerned for that poor boy.” Patton said sadly as he walked over to Logan and joined him on the bed. 

“I am too.” He murmured to himself before turning to face Patton. “Patton this is much more serious than I originally anticipated. Panic attack’s and PTSD episodes can be managed, but I believe he should seek a professional now. We can only do so much.”

Patton nodded. “I agree. Despite the medication helping his overall well-being, it’s important to get to the root of the problem. And clearly it’s something all of us are unaware of. It might be best if he spoke to a third party.”

Logan thought for a moment. “I believe my previous therapist is still practicing. He was very eccentric and different than any other therapist I tried before. He reminds me a lot of you actually,” He smiled at the thought, “He’s silly, but intelligent and caring. Because Virgil has a close relationship with you, I believe this may be a good fit for him.”

“Sounds like a good idea. We’ll talk about it with him later though - he’s had a rough day and it’s only half over.” Patton paused before tilting his head in concern. “How are you doing Logan? You seemed troubled earlier today as well.”

Logan’s face flushed red as he was so distracted by Virgil, he had forgotten about his own emotional dramatics. “I-” he stopped.

“Logan. I do not want to pressure you into talking to me if you are uncomfortable with it.”

“Patton…” Logan sighed. “I’m going to have to open up to you. I _need_ to open up to you if we want to have a healthy relationship. It’s just...frightening.”

“Okay,” Patton pulled his legs up to sit cross-legged on Logan’s bed, “What’s so frightening about talking to me?”

“It’s...embarrassing. Having to deal with emotions. They’re just so foreign to me.”

Patton paused in thought. “Did you know that Sir Isaac Newton was thought to have had Bipolar Disorder? And Abraham Lincoln dealt with Depression? My point-” Patton continued seeing Logan’s confused face- “Is that many intelligent people in the world have had to experience emotions. That didn’t make them any less intelligent. Just as you having to deal with your emotions, won’t disregard your intelligence and won’t make you stop wanting to learn.”

“That...is comforting.” Logan admitted.

“So...what’s the main thing you’re afraid of when talking to me about emotions?”

“Well, it’s illogical, but I fear I may say something that will make you laugh at me. Or criticize me. Or stop wanting to be with me.” Logan admitted timidly.

“I can understand that. But can you really see me doing any of those things?”

“That’s the thing! I know it’s illogical to have those fears, but...I still have them.”

“Hmm, well why don’t we take turns? I’ll bring up a fear of mine, and you can bring up one of your own. Ok? For example, I am afraid that one day soon, you will come to regret dating me because I am not intelligent enough for you.” Patton admitted nervously.

“Not….intelligent enough?” Logan frowned. “But you’re extremely intelligent! More so than I previously believed to be honest. I would not have been able to handle Virgil in that situation despite my knowledge in the Sciences. You however, are incredibly knowledgeable on Psychology and Social issues, including how to help someone who is struggling in a multitude of ways. You are extremely intelligent Patton. I just hope I don’t bore you when I drone on about my science theories.”

Patton let out a small laugh - “But I like hearing you talk about the things you enjoy! I may not understand them, but it’s nice to see you so happy talking about them!”

Logan began to relax feeling a bit better. “Alright. I...am concerned you will see me as stiff and not loving enough for you. That I will fail you emotionally.”

Patton’s eyes softened. “Logan, you could never fail me emotionally. This, right here, is proof of that.” Patton said gesturing between the two of them. Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What proof are you talking of?”

“That you’re trying Logan! I gave you an out earlier. I said that you didn’t have to talk to me about this yet, but you wanted to despite being nervous about it. You are opening yourself up to feeling new emotions, and while you may not be able to convey or express all of your emotions well yet, you are making an effort. And I love you for that.” 

Logan’s breath hitched at the last statement in surprise, while Patton’s eyes grew wide in panic.

“I-I only meant that in the most...I mean...you don’t need to say it back! It slipped! It’s probably too soon to say anyway and I don’t wa-”

“Patton?” Logan interrupted.

“Yes?”

“I think I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had debated on whether or not to include the PTSD, but thought it was worthwhile to the plot. I hope no one was offended and enjoyed this chapter! Things will get better soon I promise.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Like always I love to read your comments as they drive me forward!
> 
> Love you guys. Stay safe.


	18. Chapter 18

Virgil walked down the hallway to the stairs, trying to remind himself of what he had at this moment. He had Patton, Logan, and even though he was mad at him at the moment, he had Roman. His family. His family was here to protect him. They would nev- _Stop. Stop your thinking. You’re going to get worked up again. Take a moment...The carpet is beige. The walls are white. The doors are brown. Roman is crying - Wait, what?_

Virgil stopped as he almost passed Roman sitting in the same spot as he was earlier. His face was red, nose was dripping, and his eyes were closed, but considering the tear stains on his cheeks and the heavy bags under his eyes, he looked like he been crying for ages. He was taking slow breaths as his head was tilted up to the ceiling. Yes, he’s mad at Roman but… Roman wasn’t one to not look his best. This was unusual. Maybe he was too harsh.

Virgil sighed internally after deciding. He turned to Roman, who still hadn’t noticed Virgil was standing in front of him, and decided to apologize.

“Roman, look I’m-”

Roman jumped at the unexpected sound and his eyes began to tear up once more. “Dammit.” He whispered to himself, aggravated he couldn’t stop his waterworks.

“Did I really make you that upset?” Virgil asked. “Look I’m sorry, but you have to understand th-”

“I do.” Roman whispered softly.

“You what?”

“I do understand now. I fully understand. I never knew-” Roman paused a moment to collect himself- “I never knew how much _pain_ it felt. I never could have imagined until Patton showed me. To feel _all of that_ \- I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to add to your pain by eavesdropping. I can understand if you want your space from me.”

Virgil stood in shock. Earlier today Roman was trying to convince him not to harm because he’s beautiful, and shouldn’t talk down to himself. _Now he seems to understand...obviously, he still doesn’t want me to do it but...he understands._

Virgil cleared his throat, beginning to feel vulnerable at the way Roman was looking at him. No longer does he feel like he’s a ruined painting that Roman wants to fix. Now it’s…more like when you a stare at a painting for so long not getting it, until you realize, it’s upside down. And when you look at it differently - things you were confused about finally click together.

“Well...thanks I suppose.” Virgil blushed rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “But you know you saying that won’t magically fix all of my problems right? I’m still going to have moments where things get difficult.”

“I know. And I’ll be be here for you if you ever want to talk, or just vent to me.” Roman’s mouth quirked up in a grin. “Even if it’s me you want to vent about.”

Virgil smiled awkwardly. “Well...hey, it’s like 3pm and I haven’t had lunch. I was going downstairs to grab something to eat - you want to join? Patton and Logan will be down soon.”

Roman smiled softly. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Virgil held out his hand which Roman graciously took to help stand up. Virgil however, didn’t expect Roman to be so strong, so as Roman tried to stand up they were both surprised when Virgil fell backwards and Roman toppled over him. The two both laughed for a moment until they realized the position they were in. Roman turned his head towards Virgil at the same moment Virgil turned towards Roman. They both froze as the tips of their noses brushed against each other and couldn’t help but blush and inspect the other’s face. After staring for what seemed a bit too long, Roman backed his head up and placed his hands on the carpet to push up off of Virgil’s body. However with his overwhelming luck today, instead of placing his hand on 99% of the carpet that what was surrounding him, his right hand chose to place itself on top of Virgil’s. Roman couldn’t help but swipe his thumb along the palm of Virgil’s hand, and was pleased to hear a hitch in Virgil’s breath and him squirm underneath him as his blush grew darker.

 _A simple touch does that much?_ Roman thought to himself. As he felt Virgil shift under him again he had another serious thought. _Shit. If he keeps moving I’m going to have a very awkward problem to explain to him and I don’t want to make him anymore uncomfortable than he already is._

Unbeknownst to Roman, Virgil had a nearly identical thought. It was at this moment, when the two were enthralled with each other, that Logan’s door opened and Patton and Logan both walked out hand in hand. The sound of the door woke Virgil and Roman out of their haze, as Roman quickly scrambled off of Virgil brushing his jacket off to straighten up.

“So that’s what NOT to do when a mountain lion attacks.” Roman made up.

“Ah...Yes,Yes. Very good information to know.” Virgil played along.

Logan and Patton caught the scene and while Logan was a tad confused, Patton’s smile was competing against the sun it was so bright.

“Patton, Logan! Didn’t see you there! Hungry for some food?” Roman nervously asked, trying to get away from the awkwardness that was surrounding the four.

Patton gave pity and decided to play along, as if he had _not_ just seen Roman and Virgil laying on the floor with lovesick smiles on their faces.

“Yep, sure am! What sounds good? Any preferences?” Patton answered.

Logan decided to speak up at this point. “Actually some pasta sounds good at the moment. Does that sound alright everyone?”

Virgil and Patton nodded their heads as Roman’s face lit up when he had a joke to tell. “Going Lady and the Tramp style today?”

Logan blushed but decided to stand his ground this time. “Are you two?”

Virgil and Roman shared quick looks between each other before Patton chimed in. “So you can dish it out but can’t take it huh?” Patton teased. “Besides, I don’t need to have a specific meal to kiss Logan - see?” He said before leaning over to Logan and placing a quick smooch on his lips.

Logan’s eyes widened at the movement, and turned to Patton to see him smiling nervously. Logan smiled softly at Patton to ensure he knew the surprise was welcome.

“Ugh. Get a room you two.” Roman rolled his eyes at the tooth-rotting fluff he saw before him.

“We just had one. Or did you not know that because you didn’t barge in?” Logan clapped-back playfully.

Romans mouth dropped, cheeks growing red as Virgil began to snort in laughter at the unexpected joke.

“Dammmn.” Patton whispered before laughing. He swung Logan’s hand in his as he began to walk down the hallway while Virgil and Roman followed.

The four talked about nothing in particular as Patton cooked the spaghetti and soon dished out their plates. Roman made sure to restrain himself from his instinctive need to take Virgil’s knife away, and Virgil smiled to himself happy as he saw Romans improvement. The meal went by quickly as they were all hungry, but with a surprising amount of mumbled apologies from Roman and Virgil as they continually managed to bump their hands while trying to grab a piece of garlic bread, breadsticks, or even just a glass of water. Finally Logan reached a breaking point.

“For Christ’s sake, Virgil, Roman is clearly attracted to you and might even be in love with you.”

The chatter from the table immediately stopped as Roman dropped his fork and froze in shock. Before he could argue Logan spoke up again.

“And Virgil you are clearly attracted to Roman, and may also be in love with him. Now, while you two sort this out, Patton and I will be getting a room. Knocking would be appreciated if necessary, but we’d prefer it if you’d just not interrupt us for a bit.”

Logan then took Patton’s hand to help him up from his seat and walked upstairs hand in hand to, apparently, get a room.

Meanwhile, Roman sat frozen looking at his plate as he had no idea what to do in this situation. After a good minute of awkward silence, Virgil decided  to play it off as a joke.

“Well clearly he’s got some screws loose.” Virgil nervously chuckled. “Why would you love this messed up sack of issues? I know we tease each other a lot so maybe that’s what he picked up on, or maybe he’s hit his head and has a concussion, or maybe Patton drugged him, or maybe he’s just like super horny and wanted to say something that would get Patton alone. I mean there’s no way he could actuall-“

“He’s right.” Roman interrupted Virgil’s rambling quietly, still staring at his plate in front of him. He had no intention of confessing his feelings to Virgil today, but apparently that’s what he’s doing.

Virgil sighed. “You don’t need to lie to me.”

That jolted Roman out of his haze. He turned to Virgil to see his eyes cast down looking hurt at the prospect.

“Virgil. I’m not lying.” He said seriously. Virgil continued to stare at the floor contemplating whether or not he should believe him.

Roman stayed firm looking at Virgil and said something that he never thought he’d utter in his entire life. “I would stake my entire acting career on it.”

That seemed to get Virgil’s attention. He looked up to meet Romans eyes and was surprised to see them so fiercely confident. “But why? Why would you like this broken shell of a person?”

“Virgil you are not broken! You’re an amazing person who has great taste in clothing, you care for others, especially Thomas, and you aren’t afraid to give your opinion!”

“Not afra- Hah!” Virgil stood up from his chair as began to pace. “I hate giving my negative opinion sometimes! It’s terrifying knowing it might make someone upset with me, but I have to give it for Thomas’ sake nonetheless!”

“And that’s what I love about you!!” Roman blurted out standing up as well. He froze as he figured out what he just said and almost took it back, but realized this was the best time to take a romantic gesture.

“It is true, I believe. I’m in love with you. With your tenacity. Your drive. Your kindness, your concern… I could go on and on, but fear I may never stop.” Roman walked slowly over to Virgil, placing one hand on his shoulder, and the other taking Virgil’s jaw and tilting it up so he could look him in the eye.

“Virgil. I love you. Is there any part of you that may love me back? If there’s not that’s fine. I’d much rather have you in my life as a friend than not be in my life at all.”

Virgil looked back into Romans unbelievably vulnerable eyes. He’s never seen Roman so nervous, and he was still trying to be brave! He didn’t deserve a man like this...but…

Virgil gulped, and closed his eyes for a moment as if the gesture would magically lessen the nervousness he was feeling. “I’m not sure if it’s love Roman...but I do feel something. I just don’t know what that is yet.”

After deafening silence Virgil peaked open one of his eyes to see Roman smiling softly back at him. He took a step closer.

_Holy shit. Romans going to kiss me isn’t he?! I want this. I do. ....right? I wasn’t lying - I do feel something for him!! But...I don’t know if I’m ready for…._

As Virgil saw Roman began to inch his face closer - that damn beautiful face - he made a split second decision.

“Wait...waIT..STOP!” Virgil said frantically. He stepped back and suddenly began taking labored breaths, surprised as tears began to fall down his face.

_Dammit!! I even tried to prep myself for my reaction!! And I’m still fucking crying! You stupid piece of ..._

“I-I’m sorry!” Roman said shocked at the reaction before him. “I didn’t mean to-”

Virgil fell to his knees hugging himself tightly.

“Virgil?” Roman said worriedly kneeling next to him.

Virgil held up a finger to Roman to indicate he needed time to calm himself from his reaction. As his breaths became slower and less shaky, he sat on his knees in silence for a full two minutes as Roman continued to look at him with concern. Roman made sure not to move towards him, even though he desperately wanted to cradle him in his arms and take all the pain away. Virgil looked up at Roman, pain and fear radiating through his eyes, and he said something to Roman that chilled him to the bone.

“Look...If we want to try this, and as scary as it is I do, I need to tell you something...T-There’s a reason consent is so important to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers softly* I’m sorry...
> 
> This wasn’t my best chapters, but I hope it was a little enjoyable!! As always, Let me know what you think!! Your comments always fill with me joy and spur me to write more!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19 WARNING: There is talk of emotional manipulation/abuse and dubious consent. Please take this into consideration while reading. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Stay safe.

Patton followed Logan nervously holding his hand on their way upstairs. He had no idea what was going on. Logan had literally just said to him earlier today that he wasn’t sure how he felt about their physical relationship! That he had wanted to think about it. Which Patton didn’t have any problem with...But him telling Virgil and Roman they were getting a room? Well this was just confusing.

Finally Logan reached the door to his room, opened it quietly as Patton walked behind, and immediately after closing it leaned his head on the door and let out a big exhale.

“Logan?” Patton asked tentatively.

Logan’s back tensed up before he straightened up and turned to face Patton.

“I apologize Patton.” He said looking sheepishly. “I may have brought you up here using false pretenses. I did not actually intend to get physical with you at this moment...I just really wanted Roman and Virgil to talk. I hope that doesn’t offend you.”

“Oh!” Patton smiled sweetly. “It doesn’t offend me in the slightest. You had said you wanted think about us being physical and I want you to be comfortable with whatever you decide. There’s no pressure here. Although...I probably would have gone convincing Virgil & Roman to talk a bit differently.”

“Yes, that may not have been one of the best ways to go about it.” Logan admitted. “But I thought if those two finally confessed, maybe Virgil would open up to Roman more than he would to us.”

Patton paused. “That actually makes sense. Good idea!”

Logan felt his face begin to blush. He knew it was a good idea, he was Logic after all. But for some reason hearing Patton compliment his idea made him really happy.

Logan cleared his throat. “Thank you Patton.” He said shyly.

The two stared at each quietly for a couple more moments until Patton broke the silence. “So, um, what do you want to do while they’re talking?” As Logan’s face began to grow a deeper shade of pink, Patton realized what it sounded like. “NOT THAT!” He chuckled nervously. “I only meant..what do you want to do to pass the time? -Wait! I mean ….do you want to teach me how to play chess?!” He blurted out, cursing himself internally for being so awkward. But apparently that was a good suggestion as Logan’s eyes lit up at the idea.

“Yes actually! That sounds enjoyable! Ok, what do you know about chess?” Logan said excitedly.

“Oh...well I know there are little horsies involved!” 

Patton saw Logan’s face fall for a moment before bursting into a laugh. “This is going to be a trip.” He said smiling. He walked over to his closet to grab his chess set as Patton sat on the floor eagerly awaiting instructions.

Meanwhile downstairs, things were going very differently.

Roman had felt his veins go ice cold. His heart stopped and everything around him froze. He was going to get sick, and he didn’t even know what happened to Virgil yet! Just the thought of…. 

“Roman?” Virgil whispered softly.

Roman refocused his eyes on Virgil. He got choked up and swallowed past his fears. “You don’t have to tell me Virgil. There’s no pressure to tell me anything. Clearly someone hurt you and-”

“-I want to.” Virgil interrupted. “I haven’t told anyone. Not even Patton. Honestly he might commit actual murder if I told him. Not metaphorically…but like _literally_ commit murder.” Virgil paused and chuckled at the thought before continuing.”And I love Logan, but...this is something that kind of needs emotional support.” 

Roman nodded. Virgil had gone through so much today! He felt foolish for trying kiss him when he already had an attack today. _Great fucking timing Roman. Way to push Virgil into another panic._  

 _“_ Would you mind….” Virgil began nervously, “Ok this is super embarrassing, but would you mind if I sit between your legs while you hug me? I just...It’s hard enough saying this stuff out loud, and I don’t want to go into another PTSD flashback. You holding me might help prevent that and it will be easier to avoid saying this stuff to your face. I mean:...nevermind...it was stupid. Forget I said anything.”

Romans heart jumped into his throat as he smiled. He knee-walked over to Virgil and sat next to him. He spread his legs and patted the carpet in between them. Virgil looked up at him and blushed, but was thankful Roman hadn’t questioned him. He crawled over to Roman and sat in between his legs, scooting as close as he could so that his back would melt into Romans chest. Roman took his arms and slowly curled them around his waist and leaned his head on Virgil’s shoulder. 

“You had a PTSD attack?” Roman whispered. 

Virgil stiffened and then relaxed as he felt Romans thumb gently brush back and forth over Virgil’s arm. “Yeah...but we can talk about that later. I just...I need to tell you about...what happened.” 

“Whatever you need.” Roman whispered back. 

The two sat in silence for a couple minutes as Virgil gained his confidence.

“It started out small. He’d-” Virgil paused again. _This is going to be harder than I thought._

Roman seemed to read his mind. “You don’t have to tell me now you know. Or you don’t have to tell me alone.” 

“I know. Just...give me a moment.” Virgil took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. After a few moments he started again. 

“It was little things at first. Giving me side-comments on how much Thomas didn’t need me. That I only hurt him, and fail at protecting him. Telling me that you three would never see me as anything other than a villain. Looking back now, it should’ve been obvious that he was lying….but it was so hard to tell. Because he was just telling me things I already believed. And then things got complicated. He found me crying one day after I made Thomas have a panic attack, and began to try to physically comfort me. The fucker actually morphed into Patton to make me feel more comfortable.” 

Roman tightened his grip on Virgil unintentionally before realizing what he was doing a moment later. Virgil was right though - If Patton heard that? He shuddered. He really didn’t want to think about what Patton would do. As cheerful as he is 95% of the time, the dude can get downright scary if someone threatens his family. 

“And the sad thing is, it actually worked. Because even then I saw Patton as a father figure and I always wanted him to comfort me. But things just kept escalating with him! It almost felt like anytime I was doing alright...he’d force me to think otherwise. If I was smiling, he’d tell me that it was only temporary. That you all would never _truly_ accept me. If I was mad, he would say I would only scare all of you more than I already do. And if I was lonely...well, he was the only one who would bear to be with me. So growing up with these lies he told me...I began to believe it. I didn’t even question what he said anymore. I thought it was all true. But then...things started to change again. Thomas-” 

Virgil’s breathing began to grow heavier at the thought of what started all this. Roman felt Virgil stiffen up to the point he thought he would snap, so he squeezed his arms around him tighter and nuzzled his head into his neck.

“Take your time.” Roman murmured. Virgil’s heart began to slow and body began to relax when he felt Roman comfort him. Roman continued to whisper encouraging things to Virgil while softly rubbing his arms. 

Virgil took a deep breath and picked up where he left off. 

“Thomas had his first heartbreak. And being Anxiety, I feared we would never feel that same way again! And he started to feed into that. He would say things like I wasn’t worthy of anyone else’s love. And it was because of me that they broke up with Thomas in the first place! And the only person that could truly love me was him. After that his physical touch wasn’t as scary anymore because...I wanted to be held. But then...he began to push me.” 

“Push you?” Roman asked carefully. He had already feared this is what Virgil was leading up to. The last thing Virgil needed to hear is Romans voice quaking with anger. He had just desperately wanted to be wrong. 

Virgil’s mouth grew dry and began to blink back tears.

“Push me into going further. Physically. He had suggested I sleep in his room after that, so he could comfort me when I needed it. Which was always, at that point. So we would hug and cuddle and things were okay for a while. But then he’d-” 

Roman could feel Virgil’s breath began to get deeper and his body began to shake. He began to panic internally for a moment because he didn’t actually know how to protect Virgil from a PTSD attack! What was he supposed to do?! Then he remembered what Patton had said to him before he stood up and walked over to Logan’s door. _“It’s going to be okay Roman. You are safe. I’ll always protect you.”_

He squeezed Virgil a little tighter and began to repeat Patton’s words. “You’re safe with me Virgil. I’m right here. I’ll always protect you, and you are safe.” He began to feel Virgil’s breath slow for a moment continued to repeat those words to him until his body stopped shaking. “You don’t need to go into the details.”

Virgil’s breath hitched. “Thank you. I can’t...not right now.”

“It’s okay Virge...I’m here for whatever you need.” Roman could feel Virgil nod his head, and the two sat in silence for a couple moments until Virgil felt calm enough to continue.

“At first he’d seem to respect me when I said I didn’t want to go any farther...He would stop what he was doing. But then he would disappear for weeks on end. By the time I saw him again I was just so desperate to feel love…”

“You let him…” Roman barely whispered. 

“Yes. No- Kind of. It’s just complicated. He didn’t force himself on me or try to convince me to sleep with him but….my emotions were just so overwhelming I didn’t realize that I only wanted _that_ because I was afraid he would leave me again. That I would be alone. But after it happened I felt more alone than ever. It was that night when I started. I-I just wanted the pain to go away, ya know? And...like I’ve told you before, it’s easier to focus on the physical pain. Because cuts heal. Even though it feels like I never will. And it’s been so long since that happened but...everytime Thomas had a panic attack or misses out on something fun because of me...His words will come back to me. And the only way to drown them out was to focus on the physical.

And then you guys began to be kinder to me. And accepted me. And things weren’t so bad! I realized I didn’t need him anymore! But sometimes..if I made the tiniest mistake, the words he said would come back. I would overload and need to do it again. Just so I could ignore my brain. It’s still really hard sometimes. Even though I know the things he told me were lies, my brain seems to understand, but my body and emotions don’t. So the underlying emotional pain gets stronger - and it gets to be too much. So I cut.”

Roman felt his eyes begin to water.“I’m so sorry Virgil. That this happened… but I hope you know you can always come to us and talk. Come to _me_ and talk.” 

“But that’s the thing Ro! I _know_ I can, but I’m terrified to sometimes! I always wonder...what if this is the day? What if today is the day they say to me what he’s been telling me all along? I’ll just be bothering them, and you’ve all been kind enough to let me in. I don’t want to jeopardize anything that could make that go away. The thought of losing you all is _terrifying_. I don’t want to feel alone again.”

“Virgil,” Roman began quietly, settling his chin on Virgil’s shoulder. “You will never be alone. Not like you were. There may be times where you feel lonely, like we all do, but you’ll never be alone. We are here to support you through everything you need going forward.” 

It stayed quiet for a moment causing Roman to wonder if he said something wrong before Virgil spoke. “Thank you.” He said quietly leaning back a little further into Romans chest. “For all of this.”

Roman gave a small hum to indicate he was happy. Another moment passed before Roman quietly asked a question. “Now that I know all this, how do you want to proceed with our relationship? If it is something you still want…”

“It is.” Virgil said firmly. “But things will have to go really slow. I will let you know when I’m ready and for what I’m ready to do. I don’t want to feel any pressure. I don’t want to be reminded of…” Virgil trailed off. 

“I understand. Truly. And I have no problem with taking things slow. I want you to feel safe, Especially with me. I know….” Roman paused to collect himself. “I know my actions in previous years were rude and unneeded. And to do that on top of you dealing with Deceit?! I just feel horrendous. If I had known...I **should** have known. I should’ve done something.”

“But you didn’t know.” Virgil pointed out. “Don’t blame yourself for things you can’t control. I didn’t think it was something to share, and I wouldn’t have felt comfortable even sharing with Patton. Even now I’m telling you and not him! But that’s more because I’m afraid of what he’ll do.”

Roman let out a little huff at the statement to which Virgil chuckled and rolled his eyes. “And because I trust and appreciate your concern. You’re...important to me Roman.”

“You’re important to me too Virgil.”

The two smiled at the fondness they shared for one another before Virgil realized something 

“I never said who it was.” Virgil said quietly. 

“What?”

“I never said who it was. Who did those things to me.” 

Roman paused. “Could it have be anyone else?”

Virgil stayed silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My life is kind of hectic right now :( I’ve got a construction crew in my (mom’s) house so I can’t really focus well.
> 
> (Yes im almost 26 and still live at home. Believe it not, when you’re depressed you don’t always make the best financial decisions, so I’ve been trying to pay off my credit card debt for 3 years or so and still have a ways to go) 
> 
> Plus, today is only day 2 of 9 days at work in a row. 
> 
> What I’m trying to say is I’m not sure when the next chapter will be up. It may be in another week or it might be a couple months... not really sure right now. :(
> 
> Well anyway, sorry about my rambling! Please let me know what you think of the chapter! What you liked, what you didn’t..I love Love LOVE Hearing from you all! Plus it’s a great distraction.


	20. Authors Note - (You can skip this ‘chapter’ if you’d like)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAIT! Don’t worry! This fic will be continued.
> 
> Read for more info.

————————————

Firstly, I want to apologize to everyone who reads my fic for the long delay. 

I really wanted to avoid writing one of these “Author Note’s” because I don’t like the hiccup in the flow of the story, but I feel like you all deserve to know what’s going on and why this next chapter is taking so long.

Like I said in the last chapter, I had some construction going on in my house which ended up lasting until mid-June. On top of that I was having some serious upper-back pain in which we found out that I had gallstones and needed my gallbladder taken out. (I know weird correlation, but they are in fact related.) I was off work for about a month, and just recently got back. 

After my gallbladder was taken out my anxiety kicked into Hyper Drive to where I was involuntarily trembling and twitching, and had to use a lot of the coping skills I’ve learned over the years. I was also having some depressive issues which I’m still keeping an eye on to make sure I’m safe. 

And the cherry on top of this ‘mess of a life sundae’, is that my Mom will be having brain surgery this Tuesday. (In about 4 days as I’m writing this.) She has a brain tumor that needs to be taken out and will be in surgery for about 5-6 hours. 

SO. What does this mean for the story?

Well there’s no need to panic - I will absolutely be continuing this. I’ve just kind of avoided writing as I was/am dealing with all of this. Hopefully, If all goes well with my moms surgery, (fuck fingers crossed, I have my whole body in a pretzel) I should have the next chapter up in a few weeks. 

I hope you all understand, and I truly, TRULY, appreciate all of your patience with me. Thank you all so much.

\- Melissa.


	21. Chapter 21

Silence continued to fill the room until Virgil’s words completely sunk in for Roman.    
  
“Wait...it was Deceit right?!” Roman asked beginning to panic.  _ Who else could it be? _ __  
  
Virgil stayed quiet, fidgeting slightly as he pulled at his sleeves to cover his hands.    
  
Roman tried to keep his voice calm as he continued to ask. “Was it Depression?! Logan?! Oh my GOD was it PATTON?!?”   
  
Virgil’s body shook as he involuntarily snorted. “Why would it be Patton?! I said he would literally murder who ever did it! And no it wasn’t Logan either.” Virgil added on as he saw Roman beginning to ask. 

“So was it Deciet? Or Depression? Or another Dark side?” Roman asked worriedly.

Virgil fidgeted again, pulling at couple loose threads on his hoodie.

“Virgil? ...I’m sorry... I’m not trying to pressure you. I just thought it was definite that it was Deceit! It’s kinda scary not-knowing...” Roman tampered off as he tried to calm himself down.

“I know...”

“Babe, don’t pull on your hoodie.-” Roman sidetracked as he gently tried to pull away Virgil’s hands. “You worked so hard on that.”

Virgil froze surprised at Roman’s kindness, despite everything he had been doing for him at the moment. Yeah, he knew Roman was excited about his hoodie when he debuted it, but he wasn’t expecting him to realize just how hard he worked on it. Virgil looked down at his hands and let them be gently taken into Romans. He hadn’t even realized he was tugging hard on a loose thread. 

It was quiet again for another moment or two as Roman rubbed his thumbs along Virgil’s hands in a soothing manner. 

“Wait...what do you mean you know?” Roman murmured remembering his last comment. He felt Virgil stiffen in his arms once more before realizing  his mistake. He shouldn’t be pushing Virgil right now. “I’m sorry I didn-”

“I mean….I know how scary it is to not know.” Virgil just barely whispered.

Roman began to furrow his brow trying to comprehend what Virgil was telling him. “You mean…”

“Yeah.” Virgil said softly, feeling a bit more comfortable talking. “I literally mean I don’t know. ...I don’t know who it was.” He felt Roman’s jaw drop in what he assumed was shock and confusion, and then quickly continued to try to clarify. “I-I mean...I think it was Deceit. I think. But Roman, I was stuck alongside the Dark Sides for quite awhile. They  _ all _ can shapeshift. And they played a lot of tricks on me since I was the weakest & most nervous of the group. So...yeah. I understand. It’s honestly, really,  _ really, _ scary not knowing who it was that....”

“Oh my god.” Roman whispered in pure shock.  _ He really doesn’t know? That’s...that’s terrifying! But wait… _

_ “ _ Okay, I totally believe you...” Roman started, wanting to reassure Virgil.

“I feel like there's a ‘but’ coming...as in you really don’t.” Virgil interrupted dejectedly as Roman paused.  _ Of course he doesn’t believe you.  _ His brain smugly reassured himself.  _ I mean who would believe that someone doesn’t know who rap-..no. It wasn’t really rape was it? I mean it’s not like you were drunk, or high, or roofied..can you even sa- _

“Virgil.” 

Virgil was brought out of his spiral thinking when he felt Roman shifting away from him. The legs and arms that were comforting him from behind just a moment ago now seemed to be gone. Virgil’s blood ran cold as he began to think the worst.  _ I shouldn’t have told him! I should’ve just said it was Deceit! I mean I think it was!! ...would that be right though? I mean what if it wasn’t him?! ...Goddammit Virgil why’d you have to fuck this up!  _

As his breathing began to feel heavy and he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes once again, he unexpectedly felt two soft hands tilting his face up to meet Romans eyes. It had seemed Roman simply moved from holding him from behind to sit in front of him. 

“ _ Virgil _ …” Roman began again, lacing his voice with as much concern and caringness as he possibly could. “I  **do** believe you. I  **do** .” Roman reiterated, continuing his previous thought. “I was just a little confused. That’s all. ..Is it alright if I ask you a question?”

Virgil felt Roman’s warm hands cupping his face, as those familiar thumbs began to gently wipe away his tears. He leaned into the touch feeling a little calmer now. He took a slow breath in to steady his breathing before he barely nodded.

“Are you sure?” Roman asked again not wanting to cross anymore boundaries he may have crossed earlier. Virgil looked into his eyes as a soft crooked smile grew on his face. Roman felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, mentally noting that was one of his favorite smiles. “I was just confused.” Roman began again. “If you don’t know who it was, and again I  _ do  _ believe you, whose form did they shapeshift into when…” Roman trailed off hesitantly.

“Oh.” Virgil said feeling a small shock.  _ Ohhhh.  _ He thought.  _ Of course he doesn’t know...I don’t think any of the other sides know the Dark sides can do that… _

“Sorry.” Virgil began. “I feel stupid for reacting so badly before.” He heard a quiet humm and saw Roman gently shake his head as if to say ‘Don’t. Don’t feel stupid for that.’ Virgil took another slow breath before continuing. “It didn’t cross my mind that you three weren’t aware.. While, like I said, all of the Dark sides can shapeshift and change their personality and voice to closely mimic other sides, they can also shapeshift into someone you want to see. I don’t know when they decided or..if it was just one person..but they, or someone.. shifted into someone I saw as my ‘ideal partner.’ 

Roman frowned once more still trying to wrap his mind around this.

“Deceit was able to change the words in Logan’s mouth remember?” Virgil continued  “Changing his ‘no’ to a ‘yes’? Well in order to do that, he had to know what Logan was truly thinking and feeling. See, the Dark sides are able to peek into our minds - whether we want them to or not. So, slowly they - or he - began to collect data on attributes I found attractive in others, and compiled them together to create my ‘ideal love’. It was that ‘ideal love’ that was the one who comforted me as well as manipulated me. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was a dark side or a bright side. He just always seemed to be there when I needed him to be. It was only after talking to Patton one day about all of Thomas’ sides, when I realized his name never came up. When I asked Patton about him he just looked at me confused and said there was no side with that name. That’s when I knew it had to have been a dark side. Honestly ...as fucked up as it is, I almost feel like you'd be proud at the creativity it took to come up with that.”

Roman scoffed disgustedly at that idea. “Creativity is much to kind of a word for that.” He felt physically nauseous at the thought that one of the dark sides, literally transformed everything about themselves just to...just to hurt Virgil. In almost every way imaginable.

“Wh-” Roman began before stopping himself. It was too selfish of a question.

“It’s ok.” Virgil said tiredly. “You can ask...but this is the last question. I ca-” he stopped to take a deep breath trying to put on a brave face as he looked at Roman once more. “I can’t promise I can answer, but I’m too tired and overwhelmed to answer anything after this.”

As Roman looked doubtful and slightly ashamed at the fact that he wanted to ask this particular question, Virgil reassured him once more. “Really. It’s ok.”

Roman took a deep breath and his eyes turned into a blazing fire. “His name.” He asked, sounding much too calm for how he appeared. “What was the name he - or they - used?”

Silence filled the air as the two could only hear the breath of one another and the blood rushing through their ears. 

Virgil looked down and slowly stood up. “I’m going to take a nap.” He said abruptly, as he turned his back to Roman, walking towards the staircase.

Roman felt himself stand up quickly and saw his own arm reach out to Virgil, as if to physically stop him, before he stopped himself.  _ That’s the last thing he needs _ . Roman thought as he felt his eyes tear up as he looked at the ground.  _ Just let it go.  _

“-mon” 

Roman looked up quickly to see Virgil frozen at the beginning of the staircase. His right hand was resting on the banister, with one foot on the first step while the other was on the ground. 

“What?” Roman whispered.

Virgil didn’t move a muscle, but simply repeated his answer before walking up the staircase to his room.

**_“Armon. His name… it was Armon.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back baby! lol. Good news, my moms surgery went well and all my siblings came to help out so that was a great relief. They've all left now however, so I'm dealing with my mom on my own on top of stress/drama at work, and more physical labor continuing with some housework. That being said I again can't say when the next chapter will be out, but i wanted to put this one out (i know its short - sorry!) in order to get back into the groove of things.
> 
> It's been quite a few months since my last official chapter was posted, so I hope this didn't come off too out-of-place.
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to know what you all think! Did I make you angry? ...probably...sorry. Or was this just complete trash? I mean, i don't really want to hear that, but I'll do my best to listen and work on my writing if it is!
> 
> Lastly, I just really want to thank all of you who are still reading this and who haven't given up on me yet! I truly, truly, TRULY appreciate your patience and kind words. I'm not sure I would've come back without your help so thank you.
> 
> *P.S. - its pronounced R-mon


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